Running away from love
by Anna of Greece
Summary: Alice is Bella's best friend, in love with Bella's brother, Jasper. Being stuck on a wheelchair all her life, she feels unworthy of him and keeps her feelings a secret. Watch for the drama and heartbreak of their relationship.
1. ONESHOT

**DISCLAIMER:****I don't own any of the main characters, only the plot. **

As the car kept moving through the secluded road, I glanced at Bella who was driving swiftly the dark blue car. _His _car. I loved this car, because it belonged to _him_.

Jasper. The love of my life, the man that owned my heart, now and forever. The man whom I fell in love with from the first moment I laid my eyes on him. Tall frame, blonde curly hair, ice blue eyes, Greek god body.

But it wasn't the looks that made me fall in love with him. I fell in love with his soul and his spirit. He was kind, considerate, obedient son, loving brother, good friend. An angel on Earth. He was even a gentleman towards _me. Alice. S_imple, boring, unlucky me.

I never understood what Bella saw in me and decided to be my friend when I first came to Forks to live with my dad. At first, I thought it was just pity and her kind heart, so I was very reluctant to let her get close to me.

But soon I realized that she really cared for me. She really didn't see me as poor Alice, the tiny crippled girl. She always told me that I didn't see myself clearly, although I couldn't understand what she meant.

All I ever seem to consider myself was that I was disabled.

You see, I was paralyzed from the waist down since birth. I have never walked or felt my legs. I never seemed to mind the situation until my teenage years. Young people can be very cruel, and that was one of the reasons I came to Forks. New town, new people, new beginning.

When I became Bella's friend, I was happy. She always made me feel welcome, accepted, even loved as an equal, both she and her family. I loved them for that. I considered them my second family and enjoyed every moment I spent with them.

So I was glad to be invited to spend Christmas holidays with them. Whether Bella knew about me loving her brother, she never said anything and I was grateful.

"Alice, are you alright?" Bella's voice brought me out of my thoughts. I looked at her. She stared at me, concerned. "You seem very sad. Why? Don't worry about Charlie. He will be fine with Sue." I smiled, thinking about my dad and his relationship with Sue, the only woman to get to his heart after mom.

"Try to have some fun or else _Jasper_ will deal with you." I frowned at her.

"No, Bella. I am not worrying about my dad. I know he is in good hands. It's just me." She gave me a last glance and turned her eyes to the road.

Then, I realized that we had arrived at her house. She entered the garage and parked the car at its usual spot. It was at that moment that I saw _him._ He smiled at me.

"Good evening, Alice. It's good to see you." He opened the car door and scooped me swiftly into his arms.

"Jasper, please, put me down. I have a wheelchair to move around. You don't have to do this," I objected. I didn't want to be a burden to anyone, especially Jasper.

"Alice, please. It is better this way. Besides, you weight almost nothing, so any man in this house could lift you with one arm. Don't you want to be wheelchair-free for a while?" he asked lovingly, kissing the top of my head.

I stopped arguing after that kiss. He was right. Edward, Jasper, Emmett, even Carlisle - their father- all were strong enough to carry me around. So, I just asked Bella to pick up my bag and put it in the room I would be staying in for the holidays.

"Ok, Alice, don't worry. It is settled. You are here to have fun," she said with a smile.

"I'll make sure she does," Jasper answered and moved towards the living room, putting me down on the love seat in the middle.

"Hey, guys! Alice's here!" he shouted, and suddenly the room was full. Their parents, Carlisle and Esme, were the first to greet me. Then came Edward, Bella's fiancé; Emmett, the other Cullen brother, and his girlfriend, Rosalie.

I was suddenly crushed by four pairs of arms until Esme came to my rescue. "Kids, give her a break. She will be with us for a few days, so each of you can have a chance to torture her," she joked.

I smiled at her. "Thanks, Esme, I love you too." She winked at me and went back to her cooking. The rest of us went on talking colorfully about life and work.

Well, mostly the others were talking and I was just listening, as always. Nothing in my life was worth mentioning. And I didn't think that my feelings for Jasper were something that my friends would like to talk about.

My feelings for Jasper… What an understatement. I didn't just have _feelings_ for him. I _loved_ him, hopelessly, madly, forever. And I knew that my love would never be reciprocated.

I laughed silently. How silly I was, thinking that an angel like him would ever love me. What could I ever offer him? Nothing. Only my half self. I could never be enough for him. I could never touch him, feel him, love him as he should be loved.

"Alice, what do you think?" I blinked. I turned to my friends, all staring and waiting for my response.

"Sorry?" I blushed like crazy.

"Alice, what has gotten into you today? You seem a little lost," Bella teased, looking at Jasper and then me.

I panicked. I didn't know how much she suspected about me and her brother, but I didn't want her to know for sure. "No, I am just tired. Would you all mind if I went to bed early?" I asked.

"No, not at all," everybody said. Immediately, Jasper picked me up bridal style and climbed the stairs towards the rooms. I put my arms around him, breathing his manly scent, feeling somehow intoxicated by his mere presence.

Suddenly, I realized that we had passed Bella's room and we were inside _his_ bedroom.

"Why I am in _your_ room?" I asked him, puzzled. He gently put me down on his bed, and closed the door behind him. My eyes were wide open now. He came closer.

"Are you afraid, Alice?" he whispered.

"Why am I here, and not in Bella's room? I am sleeping with her, you know," I tried to joke, trying to hide my worry. Jasper backed up and went to sit at the other end of the bed.

"There has been some change of plans," he said and, after glancing at me briefly, he continued, "You see, Edward is staying with Bella, and Rosalie is staying with Emmett, so the only place you can stay is here, in my room. I know it's not ideal, but, don't worry, I will be a perfect gentleman. You can sleep in my bed and I will sleep on my couch," he gestured with a smile.

I was shocked and mortified. "You are very kind to agree to this, but I don't want to cause any inconvenience. If I had known about this, I would never have come."

I was angry at Bella. She had assured me - until the last minute – about our sleeping arrangements, and then suddenly she changed them without telling _me_? I started wondering…how much did she know about my feelings for Jasper? Did she approve? Was the whole sleep-change situation deliberate?

"No, I can't do this. It is too much," I muttered. "I can't do this," I said, louder this time. "I have to go, I must leave…I can't stay here. Can you call Bella? I have to talk to her," I said, angry with myself.

"Alice, what is it? What do you mean? Don't be angry at Bella, it's just sleep," he tried to calm me.

"Please, call Bella for me or I will call my father," I whispered, trying to fight the tears. Jasper approached me, kneeling down at my feet.

"You are not afraid of me. _What are you afraid of_, Alice?" he paused, looking intently at my face.

I froze. What was he asking me? What was he looking for? A lot of emotions flashed through his eyes: empathy, anxiety, longing, and something I could not understand…love? It couldn't be! But his face became unreadable again.

"Are you afraid of...yourself?" he finally said. I stared at him, like I was seeing him for the first time, and suddenly, I realized that _he knew_. He _knew_ I loved him, and he knew just how intense my feelings were.

"How long have you known about it? Who else knows?" I said, looking at my feet.

"A while. And everybody in this house," he responded, not looking at me.

I just wanted to die. I wanted to disappear. Just my luck. I hid my face in my hands.

"Please, have mercy on me and let me go. I can't be here now, while everybody knows about poor Alice's crush on her best friend's brother. Oh, wait till everybody in town finds out about it. They will have a good laugh!" I chuckled darkly.

"Why is your loving me funny? And neither I nor my family likes to gossip about our personal lives." He was angry at me, this I could tell, but why? Then I realized I had insulted him by insinuating that they would gossip about anything.

"Alice, stop running away from me, and tell me the truth. All this time I have only been guessing," he paused momentarily.

"Do you feelings for me? Because I do, and they might surprise you," he whispered.

My head shot up. What? What did Jasper mean? I wanted to ask, but he was waiting for my answer, as if his life depended on it. I made my decision: tell the truth and be free. I took a deep breath and…

"Jasper," I whispered, tears running down my face, "I _love_ you. I have loved you since the first time I saw you. You are the most caring, gentle, loving man I have ever known. For me, you are an angel in disguise. I will love you always and forever, even if I know that I am not worthy of you."

"I don't deserve you. I can't be the right woman for you. I am just a half of a woman, never able to love you the way you should be loved. I know you don't feel the same, though you do care deeply for me, because you are the most wonderful person in the world."

"But, don't feel bad. Don't say anything to make me feel better. I am at peace with myself. I know that I will always be alone and I am fine with it."

I glanced at him, but he seemed to be in deep thought. Suddenly, he looked at me, as if he was trying to see inside my soul.

"Is there anything else you have to tell me or may I speak up now?" he asked.

"Only one more thing," I continued, "before you call Bella to take me home. Now that _you know_, you must realize that I can never see you again. I am too ashamed of it."

"But I have a favor to ask; I told you that my heart will always be yours…keep it safe. If you are happy, I will know and be happy too. Now, please, Jasper, let me go…." I sobbed. I hated that he had to listen to all this, and that I made him feel bad for him not returning my feelings, but he insisted.

"Alice," he whispered, his face suddenly very near my own. He looked into my eyes, his blue ones a smoldering fire. "I think you are under a misapprehension. You think you know my feelings, but you are wrong. Do you really want to know?" he breathed in my face, wiping my tears away.

I nearly melted to the intensity of his words. I nodded. I wanted to know, even if it killed me.

In seconds, his lips were crushing mine, fiercely and gently at the same time. My lips opened instantly, allowing him entrance, and his tongue intertwined with mine, savoring his sweet taste in my mouth. I felt intoxicated by him, like I was dreaming. But I let the dream sweep me off the ground, to store up this memory forever in my mind.

His hands traveled from my face down to my neck, my arms and then rested on my thighs. Suddenly, he pushed my legs apart to position himself between them, and snaked his hands around my waist.

The feeling was overwhelming. His lips on mine, his body so close to me…I started feeling dizzy. I pulled away to catch my breath. He was panting too.

"What was that?" I said breathlessly. He grinned.

"That was _me_ showing my feelings for _you_." I gasped.

"You are lying. You are just feeling sorry for me. It's impossible. You can not …." I couldn't say it. It was unbelievable. _He…loved…me_? Is this what he was trying to tell me, hands around my waist, his face near mine?

"You…really…love…me?" I whispered. He nodded.

"Yes, I really, truly do love you, Oh, Alice, my Alice…why is it so hard for you to believe?" he asked.

I glanced outside the bedroom window, watching the moon shining over the forest surrounding the house.

"Isn't it obvious? Why a god-like angel like you would love a simple disabled girl like me? You can give me everything, while I have nothing to give you in return," I answered.

"Nothing to give me back?" he argued. "Alice, you have your precious, wonderful self to give, and I am more than willing to have you. I love you, from the first moment Bella introduced us, but I couldn't say anything, because you were my sister's friend and I didn't want to make you feel awkward when you were at our house."

"You were always caring and loving towards me, but you kept those feelings' true intensity hidden. Although Bella and the others seemed to know the truth even before we did. She was the one who urged me to talk to you and save us both from our misery," he said, smiling shyly.

I raised my left hand and cupped his cheek, and rested my other hand on his arm.

"So, everybody else knew we loved each other but us. Now what?" I asked him.

He gazed intently at me. "You are mine and I am yours. We _belong_ together, and we have been apart for a long time. We need to make up for lost time. I want _us_ to be _together_. I want everybody to know that we love each other and that it will be forever".

He caressed my cheeks, my neck, my lips. He pecked my face with light kisses and then went down my neck, nibbling all the way.

"Will you be my love forever?" he whispered low in my ear.

I snapped my head towards him. "What do you mean? I love you and that will never change. I will take anything you wish to give me. You don't have to promise me anything. I will be yours for as long as you want me to be."

My words were abruptly cut short by his soft lips pressed against mine with so much passion and love that I felt my eyes tear up again. This is heaven on earth, I thought.

He pushed me back and I was lying down on his bed, with him hovering above me. I suddenly realized that this was what I was dreaming for a long time; him kissing me, his body molded to mine, his hands roaming all over my body. I shivered from the sensations that were flooding me.

I hugged him tightly and put my face on the crook of his neck. His sweet smell was all over my head, taking me to a fantasy world where only we existed.

"Will you marry me?" he said breathlessly.

"What?" I gasped. Did he really say that? "Are you _serious_? Do you really want to _marry me_? Maybe you should think it over. Living with me can be very tough and challenging. I don't want you to regret this."

Suddenly, I was alone on the bed. I looked at Jasper. He was standing near the window, his back towards me. He was angry, I knew it. _This is the man of your dreams asking you to marry him_, I scolded myself, _and all you can say is he should think it over_?? As if he hadn't thought it over thoroughly already.

"I am sorry, Jasper, I said, ashamed of myself. "I know you have considered everything before you decided to propose to me. It was stupid of me. Please, forgive me."

He relaxed a little. "It's all right, Alice. I know you didn't mean it like that." But he was still tense. I had to continue.

"Your asking me to marry you is a _dream_ come true. If you want me, I will be eternally happy to be your wife, and do my best to make you happy." I closed my eyes, crying silently.

He must have sensed my tears, because he had me in his arms in a second.

"Alice, please don't cry. I only want your happiness. Baby, I love you always and forever, don't ever doubt me. I know that you love me, too. I am not trying to rush things. I just believe that marriage is the next step for two people in love." He kissed me passionately. "Thank you," he continued and pressed his body on mine again.

I was lost in the sensations of his body on to mine. It was strange but I never had felt more alive, more whole than this before. I felt complete, like I could do anything I wanted.

Suddenly, I was feeling bold. Here I was, with the love of my life, having agreed to marry him. I wanted him even closer, I wanted to become…his. I grabbed his face and looked in his eyes. All his love shone in his blue eyes.

"Jasper, my love," I whispered, "I want you. Make love to me, please." I felt my cheeks turning pink, ashamed of myself.

My words took him by surprise. He stopped kissing me and stared at me. "My pixie, I love you. You don't have to prove anything. I am sorry if you felt pressured. We have all the time in the world to make love."

He paused and gazed at me, his eyes full with love. I turned my head, rejection and understanding in my heart at the same time.

He grabbed my chin and made me look at him again. "Baby girl, I do want you. God knows how long I have waited to hear you say this to me. I really want to make love to you. But, today was a difficult day for both of us. It was revelations' day," he tried to joke to relieve the tension, "and we are both overwhelmed and exhausted. Let's get some rest, and we can talk again tomorrow."

As if on queue, I yawned, realizing now that it was getting very late. He laughed. "See? You, too, agree with me. Come, it's time to sleep. Do you need to go to the bathroom?" I nodded. He picked me up and helped me inside the bathroom. I looked around and realized that it was different from the last time I was in it. It was remodeled to accommodate people with disabilities. He did it for me, to let me take care of myself.

After I was finished, Jasper picked me up again, helped me put my pajamas on, and tucked me in bed, kissing me softly. His gentleness brought tears in my eyes, and I made my decision.

As he stood up to get to the couch, I grabbed his wrist tightly. "Jasper, my love, I don't want to sleep alone. Come lie beside me, please," I begged.

He smiled, and, moving swiftly, he got in and laid close to me, his arms around me. I snuggled as close to him as I could. As if he knew, he moved me so my body was glued to his.

"Goodnight, sweetheart. Sleep well," he said. I smiled, and drifted peacefully in sleep, in my true love's arms.

**A.N.:****I hope you like it. Please review. I really appreciate the feedback……**

**I am currently re-writting this story as a multi-chapter one, and I am almost done, only missing a chapter. Hope to finish soon and start beta-ing it. **


	2. PROLOGUE

**A / N** : So this is my attempt to turn my one-shot into a multi-chapter story.

I must remind you that these chapters are not beta-ed. Try to forgive any mistakes, since English is not my mother language.

PLEASE, REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**PROLOGUE - Alice**

_**2008**_

**APOV**

Today is _that _day of the year _again. My birthday…_

I really want to scream.

I want to scream so loud that the whole damned campus can hear me.

And I want to yell at _Him_, to ask _Him_ one simple question. One question that has haunted me since the day I was born. And every time I ask, I demand for an answer.

_He_ never answers me. _He_ will never answer this particular question.

After all, _He_ is God Almighty. He answers to no one. We obey blindly to his commands, no questions asked.

Don't get me wrong. I am usually a religious person. I do believe in God. Just not this particular day of the year.

I guess you are confused now, aren't you? Hm, I better explain myself a little better.

My name is Alice Brandon. I am 20 years old, in my second year at the Dartmouth Medical School. I am rather short and tiny, barely four feet ten, with spiky black hair and grey eyes.

Usually I am a happy and cheerful girl, always trying to look at the bright side of everything, even _my situation;_ but not today. Today I am angry as _hell_ with Him. I am angry because He never answers to the simple question I keep shouting at Him.

_WHY? WHY? WHY, DEAR GOD? Tell me why You are punishing me this way? What have I done to offend You? Why have You bestowed this curse on me? Why have You given me life, if I have to suffer like this? _

_Please, God, please answer me….why You had to take part of me away? My self-esteem? My dignity? _

Hot tears are running down my face, and I cry so hard that I can't scream any more. It is no use, anyway. God won't talk to me.

I shake my head dejectedly. I am hopeless, pathetic. _Who do you think you are_, I scold myself, _to demand from God_?

"You are an insignificant human girl. This is your life, deal with it," I mutter, and let my tears fall until I run out.

After I exhausted myself crying, I moved towards my desk to work on my term papers, passing a long mirror. I got a glimpse of me in the mirror and I froze. There I was, my half self, mocking me, taunting me from my wheelchair; my companion for as long as I could remember.

_Nobody cares about you, nobody loves you_, the harsh voice echoed inside my head. _Nobody will miss you if you just die, Alice_.

Death…I want it. God, I can't stand this, I don't want this life anymore. "Dying is easy, life is hard" I whispered. I want the easy way out then.

I let my head fall into my hands, elbows resting on my thighs. I glanced at my legs, resting limply from disuse on the footstool. Once again, I realized the dead-end my life had been since day one. Since the day _I _was born….


	3. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**CHAPTER 1 – Kate**

_**1988 **_

**KPOV**

It was a warm autumn evening, the city of Port Angeles buzzing with visitors filling its shops and restaurants. I didn't come down here often, as I found the hourly trip too boring for my taste. Also, the fact that I was almost seven months pregnant put an already dump outlook to whatever joy I might otherwise have felt about this get together.

But I was missing Tanya and Irina, my two best friends since high school. Even though I was now a happily married woman, living with my darling husband, David, in Forks, I always found time to meet with my girls to catch up.

I rubbed my swollen belly, smiling at the small kick from the angel inside. "Oh, Alice," I crooned at my baby, "you are going to be such a bundle of energy! How I'll ever be able to keep up with you, I don't know."

My baby was the reason for this dinner date with my friends. They were throwing me their own "baby shower", as they called it. I had already received their gift for the baby, and I was in love with it. It was a beautiful crib, off white with small cute designs on, set up by the delivery people. I couldn't wait to see little Alice sleeping in it!

_Hmm, I better stop daydreaming and keep my mind on the road_, I thought. I glanced at my watch; I was meeting Tanya and Irina at the Bella Italia to eat my favorite dish, mushroom ravioli. My mouth watered at I remembered eating the exquisite food. Maybe afterwards I should try that chocolate soufflé and …ouch.

Another strong kick brought me back to reality, along with a loud honking sound. I looked in front of me, my eyes wide open, as I watched another car swerving from its course and heading straight at me.

I turned the wheel to the right, trying to avoid the head-on collision, but to no avail. I heard the crashing sound, metal on metal, and suddenly, I was spinning out of control. Then, I remember stopping abruptly, and found myself lying on the driver's side, still strapped in my seatbelt, the steering wheel pressed hard on my belly.

I was disoriented, and trying to breathe was a difficult task for me at the moment. My whole body hurt like hell, and I was bleeding from numerous lacerations.

I instantly put my hands on my baby bump. "Baby, are you okay, give mommy a nice kick," I was begging my unborn child. But nothing, no kick. My heart stopped beating. No, not my Alice. Please, God, don't let anything happen to my Alice, I whimpered to no one but myself.

Suddenly, the graveness of the situation hit me. I was trapped inside my mangled car, seriously injured and terrified that my baby was hurt, with no way to help her. I searched around me for my cell, but it was nowhere near me. I started panicking for our lives. Let's hope somebody saw the accident and called for help.

I started feeling dizzy and light-headed, my heart beating fast. My arms and legs were getting weaker with every passing minute, and I knew I was going to die.

Tears were running down my face, as I thought of David and my baby. _Please, forgive me_, I begged them both. _I am sorry_….and then I blacked out.

_**Two days later….**_

I woke up in pain. I opened my eyes, and scanned the unfamiliar room. _Where am I_, I wondered. The uncomfortable bed and the awful smell of antiseptic made me realize that I was in a hospital. David was asleep on a plastic chair next to me, holding my hand. He looked..terrible. He was pale, his face drawn from worry. _Poor darling, he is going crazy for me and the baby._ But we were alright now, weren't we?

Suddenly, I sensed that something was missing. _Where is my baby_, I wondered, _where is Alice_? My eyes fell on my belly and I pressed my hands on my mouth to muffle my scream. There was no baby bump any more. My baby was gone. _But, where is she? Where is she? Where is my Alice? Is she okay? She must be alright, she can't be_…

I curled on my bed, trying to hold myself together. _No, no_, I told myself, _she can't be…dead, she is alive and healthy, she has to be_.

"NO!!!" I screamed, "ALICE!!"

My screams startled David, who jumped up and quickly took me in his arms, trying to calm me down.

"Kate, honey," he was rubbing my back, "please calm down. You are hurting yourself." He held me closer, but I struggled against him. My pain was choking me, my heart was breaking…How could he hold me? I was alive while our baby was not. The floodgates opened wide and I was screaming my lungs out now.

"Alice! Alice! I am sorry! I am so sorry! I never meant to hurt you! David," I turned to him, "please forgive me. I loved her, you know I did! It is my fault, I was so selfish! If I hadn't gone to Port Angeles, nothing would have happened, and our baby would be alive!" I wailed, waiting for his wrath to be unleashed. He should hate me, I killed our baby. I was a murderer…

His embrace never loosened up, his eyes stared at me with so much pain and love. I stared back, astonished.

"Don't you hate me, David?"

"Why should I hate you, darling? I love you. The only person I hate right now is the bastard that caused the accident," he said softly.

I blinked twice. "But, I…I…because of me…Alice is…dead…" I whispered now, ashamed.

He chuckled weakly and kissed my head. "No, Kate," he said smiling, "our baby is fine."

"But, where is she? What happened after the crash? Tell me?" I begged.

He exhaled loudly, wincing at the memory. "Someone called 911, and they came shortly afterwards. They managed to set you free quickly and get you to the hospital. I was notified immediately and ran here like a bat out of hell. I must say, love, you were in a bad shape. The doctors had a hard time getting you stabilized. Then, you went into premature labor, and they had to perform an emergency c-section to get the baby. But," he paused, "both you and the baby are fine."

"Where is she? When can I see her?" I asked him impatiently. "I can't wait to see her."

He smiled again, releasing me. "If you behave, I will go and check with the doctors when we can go and see her at the Neonatal ICU."

"I'll be here," I promised and he left. I was overjoyed. I would see my baby. Soon, I would be holding my perfect baby in my arms…Thank you, God, I prayed mentally, for keeping me and my baby alive and well.

**DPOV **

As I watched Kate holding our baby in her arms for the first time, my eyes were brimming with unshed tears. I struggled with myself to hold them back, not wanting to upset my wife. I hadn't been completely honest with her about our baby, I couldn't find the strength in me to tell her the truth, at least not now.

The doctors had told me that, while Kate's body had taken the brunt of the impact, the baby was affected, too. The steering wheel pressing on Kate's belly had injured Alice's spine, its extend and consequences still unknown. They started treatment immediately to avoid any inflammation in the injured area, and they will be checking Alice periodically to monitor her condition.

I can only hope for the best. I thank God every passing second, from the bottom of my heart, for saving both Kate and Alice. I only pray that my baby girl will always be healthy and strong. I hope….

_**1989**_

**KPOV**

Alice is such an adorable little girl! She is so tiny that her father sometimes holds her like fragile china. I try to tell him that she really is a tough cookie, stubborn and opinionated, but he won't listen. Men…

But I can't help but worry for my baby. She is happy and cheerful, clever and mischievous. But, there is something wrong with her, I know it. And it's all my fault.

You see, although she has already taken her first steps, four months ago, she wasn't walking around much. The first time she walked, I was so proud that I didn't notice that she was whimpering, I thought she was just afraid to fall.

Afterwards, every time she tried to walk, she took less steps and her whimper turned to crying, which alarmed us. We took her to her pediatrician, who just attributed her problem to her growing up and sent us away.

David and I have decided that, if the problem persists, we should see an orthopedist. I just hope we won't need him.

_**1990**_

**DPOV**

Unfortunately, Alice kept complaining about her legs, and we consulted many doctors to get some answers, with no success.

Our last hope was Dr. Tyler, a well-known orthopedist, who, after conducting various tests on her, called us inside his office.

He motioned us to sit, and sat at the opposite side of the desk, with the test results in his hands, and a solemn expression on his face. _Oh, it can't be good_, I thought, scared to death.

"Mr. and Mrs. Brandon, I have done every test possible that I thought would help me determine your daughter's problem, but, I have to admit, for the first time in my life, I can't give you an straight answer," he pursed his lips.

We were confused, Kate breaking the silence first. "What do you mean? You have done so many tests, and you still don't know what is wrong with Alice?" She stood up and started pacing angrily. "What is the matter with you people? You are doctors, for God's sake! Do something, help us, _no_, help my little girl!" She stopped, holding back her tears.

I took over. "Alice used to be so lively, and now she is a confused two-year old, afraid to walk around the house, because it hurts too much. We are at our wits end. If you cannot give us an answer, is there another doctor who can?"

He stared at us for some time, his chin resting on his fists. "You never let me finish. I know that the problem is in her spine, where she was hurt during your accident. What I don't know is the exact nature of the problem, so as to decide the right treatment.

"For the time being, I will prescribe a drug regiment to fight inflammation, to increase blood flow and to lessen the pain when she is standing or walking. However," he paused, thinking of the right words, "I think it is best if Alice doesn't…use her legs much."

"What? Not use her legs? How is she supposed to move around? What will happen when she is older?" I asked him, dreading his answer.

"You will have to carry her, for now. Later, she will have to use a wheelchair. Of course, if she keeps taking her medication and after a lot of physical therapy, she may be able to walk very short distances; to get in and out of bed, to use the table or the bathroom."

I leaned back in defeat. "So, there is no hope for her? She will always be stuck on a wheelchair? Isn't surgery an option here?"

He shook his head. "She is too young, and the procedure is too risky for her now. Maybe in a few years, new drugs or surgical procedures will be found that will be more helpful. Until then…" he trailed off.

I looked at Kate's eyes and I recognized the feeling swimming behind them, the same like mine; what will happen now? She ran into my arms, crying her eyes out.

"What have I done to our girl? It's my fault….."

_**1993**_

**KPOV**

"Helen is not my friend any more," Alice shouted at me, when her father carried her inside the house. She had been to the house next door to play with their little girl. It was the second time she had gone over there and I was happy she was making new friends, willing to overlook her "problem". But I guess I was wrong.

"Why?" I asked. She took a deep breath, relaxing visibly.

"She wanted to play hide and seek, I told her that I couldn't. And she made fun of me!" she said, tears running down her cheeks, "she called me a freak! Why was she so mean to me?" She stared at me, waiting for an answer.

"Mommy, why am I different from the other kids? Why can't I walk?" her big grey eyes pushed a knife to my heart. I was floored from shame and guilt. What could I say to her_? It is my fault, it is my fault_, I chanted inside my head, _I am the selfish bitch that is responsible for your pain_.

David came to my rescue, knowing exactly what I was thinking now. He took Alice in his arms again, and shaking his head to me, smiled at her.

"It's her loss, baby, if she doesn't want you as a friend. Don't worry. Now, do you want to watch your favorite movie?" he asked her.

"Daddy, you are the best!" She squealed and gave him a sloppy kiss while he walked to the living room.

I choked back a sob and, turning my back to them, resumed on my cooking. Alice, forgive me for your suffering, I begged my daughter silently, as I prepared our lunch.

_**1995**_

**KPOV**

I checked the time again. They should have returned by now, the school was only twenty minutes away. I heard the familiar sound of David's keys on the door, and there he was, Alice in his arms as usual. He sat her down on the couch and went back out to fetch her wheelchair.

My heart broke at my little girl's expression. She was ashamed, mortified, hurt. What happened today at school?

David came back inside, putting the unfolded wheelchair right next to her. He nudged her shoulder lightly, showing her the chair. She nodded in refusal, her face pale white, her arms wrapped around her small frame. I approached her, and kneeled before her. She stared at her feet, not meeting my eyes.

"What happened, Alice?" I asked, stroking her hair.

Her eyes shone with brimming tears, her cheeks pink from emotion.

"I am not going to school again! I hate it!" she screamed, letting her tears run freely. "It was awful, mom. It was so hard to move around school with this stupid chair, and I had to ask the teachers for help. My classmates were staring at me the whole time like I was a freak show, while everybody was whispering behind my back." She threw herself at me, hugging me tight.

"I was so lonely, mom. Nobody wanted to be with me, to avoid the ridicule at being seen with the crippled girl. It is so hard…I can't stand it. Please, don't make me go back there!!" she begged me, sobbing inconsolably in my arms.

I held her close to my heart, whispering how much we both loved her and that we would always be there for her, trying to calm her down. My eyes shot up, meeting her father's. He mouthed at me that we would discuss it later and came near, putting his arms around both of us.

"Daddy," was all she said, and more tears came down her face. We let her pour her misery out, hoping against hope that it would make her feel better.

After she cried herself to sleep, David took her upstairs to her room, while I put lunch together and waited for him to return.

He climbed down the stairs slowly, and joined me at the kitchen table. We started eating in silence, neither of us daring to touch the sensitive subject of school. Most of the food remained untouched onto the plates, when he decided to speak.

"What now?"

"I really don't know, David. Maybe we should talk to her teachers about the other kids' attitude towards Alice. I don't understand these kids. Aren't their parents teaching them good manners? She may be on a wheelchair, but she is a human being, for God's sake, with feelings!" I said angrily, pressing my hands on my face.

He stared at his plate, contemplating his answer. He then lifted his head at me, speaking in a quiet voice.

"Sweetheart," he paused, "maybe it would be best for Alice not to go to school again. Today was very hard on her. I think she should stay home."

I was astonished by his words. "Are you out of your mind? And how is she supposed to get educated? How will she able to make friends if she is always here with us? They can't all be bad, they just need time to get accustomed to her. It was just the first week. It will get better after a few days," I said, not so sure of myself.

He looked horrified at the thought. "Are you really considering subjecting Alice again to a torturous experience like today? Kate, you can't go by trial and error on this case!"

I persisted. "Please! Let me talk first to the principal, see what can be done about the kids' behavior, and decide later. Let's give it one more try, and if they are still treating her badly, then we can home school her. Ok?"

He raised his finger at me. "Only if she agrees to go back." I nodded and picking the phone, I called the principal's office.

_**A month later…**_

**DPOV**

The principal was very sympathetic to our situation, and assured us that he would talk to the students about treating Alice properly. He only asked us to keep her at home for a day, to give him time to address the matter.

I also made sure to ask Alice's opinion about going back to school. We told her about our conversation with principal, and, reluctantly, she agreed to give it one more try.

So, it has been almost a month later, and things at school are bearable. The principal's talk seemed to do the trick, and the other kids never bothered Alice again. Those stupid enough to try and harass her were slapped with expulsion from school, so they learned their lesson the hard way.

Alice also seemed to be more at ease at school, as nobody dared to hassle her. She even managed to become acquainted with some girls from her class, who were gracious enough to always invite her at their table during lunch.

At least, she has people her age to talk to. That's something, isn't it?

_**2000 **_

**APOV**

Middle school proved to be hard. Especially the first days were hell. Everything I had been through elementary school, I had to go through again here, the only difference being that the kids were meaner to me. It seems malice gets worse with age.

I understand they don't have to like me, but why must they be so cruel to me and always find joy in torturing me? And it's not that I can turn to my teachers for help. I don't want to be the cry baby again. So, I will have to bear the bitchiness, the stares and the whispers all over again, and I am not allowed to utter a word. I have to make up more lies for my parents, let them think that everything is going smooth here.

It will be three very long years for me….

_**2003**_

**APOV**

This is my third beginning of a new era in school. After I managed to survive through the nightmare that was middle school, I feel like a cockroach; I can survive even a nuclear war!

You won't believe what I have been through in middle school. And, now that I am proceeding into high school, I am fully aware of what is in store for me.

I can only imagine what kind of pranks and torture I will be subjected to this year. Teenage boys and girls are borderline sadistic when it comes to me. It seems that all they have in mind while in school is how to make my life a living hell and not get caught.

I chuckled mirthlessly. If only I count the times that I will be pushed, pulled, shoved, ridiculed, I shall be a rich girl….I just pray that their plans don't have me end up at the ER, and I surely hope God will give me strength to endure the chaos and torment of high school. And, please, God Almighty, please, help me be accepted at a university as far from here as possible. Let me live through this and make a new start in life. Please…?


	4. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**CHAPTER 2 - University**

_**2008**_

**APOV**

"Thank you," I said fuming at myself, as the closing doors missed me by mere inches. I just stayed there, outside Building 4, inside which I was supposed to be in ten minutes for my next class.

I knew I shouldn't get angry, that I should be used to indifference by now, but I can't. Despite the "Different people – Equal rights" motto around the university campus, my fellow students tended to forget it regarding me. My peers usually paid little attention to my waiting to enter a building, and I couldn't recall the countless times that I was unable to find a single person willing to hold the door open for me. It was like I didn't exist for them.

Many times, I had to be persistent to get the answers to my questions, and I had to practically beg them to let me copy their notes, the few times I had been absent from class. Meanwhile, they would expect me to always be nice and cater to their needs; answer their questions, give them my lecture notes, help them with homework.

And did they treat me better? Of course not. Did they even try to invite me out once? Again no. I didn't even bother listening to their lame excuses now. I would just smile politely and leave, always swearing that I would change, that I would be cruel like them.

But I couldn't, I wasn't a cruel person. My dad would always tell me I was too sweet and kind-hearted for my own good. Even on my worst times, I never wished anything bad to befall all those people that have hurt me.

I don't know, maybe they kept hurting me because they were afraid of me, afraid that if they had any contact with me, they might catch the "virus" and be like me. And, in a world where only looks and appearances mattered, there was no place for people like me; physically or mentally different.

To them, I was less of a human being. I was a freak, a dud, an invalid. In their minds, I was not perfect; I couldn't keep up with them, living their lives to the maximum. I couldn't have fun like they did…hell, I couldn't even walk more than a few steps without collapsing down in pain.

Then, my stupid wheelchair wasn't being easy to move around, especially in the confined space of the popular bars and clubs, and it wasn't very stylish, too. I couldn't go anywhere without causing too much inconvenience to my companions, as they would feel obligated to baby me a lot, and they would end up not enjoying themselves like they wanted to.

I always felt eyes on me wherever I was, always the odd fish in the pond. The stares were extremely embarrassing inside the lecture theater, whenever I would try to get seated, because, due to the wheelchair, I was only able to sit in the front row. And that was where the "real show" began, when I would start my usual ritual of getting seated; I would approach a spot in the front next to the lane, stop my wheelchair, and drag myself to walk to the nearest seat, slowly and with great difficulty. Curiosity and pity literally was trickling down on me.

Once, a guy felt bold enough to ask me, in front of the entire class, if I really was "a cripple", as he so eloquently put it, since I could walk. I can't describe my mortification and my anger. Not just towards him, but to everybody out there eager to jump to conclusions, instead of actually trying to find the truth about my condition. Shooting daggers at the idiot, I shook my head in disbelief at his audacity, and turned my attention to the professor, just starting his lecture.

Not that the teaching staff was being much better. They would all get on my nerves with their polite condescending, driven either by pity or by political correctness, making gag every time I had to interact with them. I guess my being bound to a wheelchair reminded them how fragile human life was, and how easily they could find themselves in my place.

God, I hated all this self loathing and hate. But I couldn't help it. Every morning, when I would wake up, all these thoughts kept popping up in my head, and I would find myself drowning in depression.

Why had I decided to leave home? Oh, yes, to make a new start, away from my tormenting peers back home. Plus, I always dreamed of furthering my education, and study more about my main interest; medicine. So, I had came to this University, to study in its acclaimed Medical School, to be as far away from home and all the bad memories, and to try being alone and independent.

It was hard. Maybe I should have stayed home, with my parents, where I was safe and loved. Here, I was alone…unwanted. After being here for almost two years, I had no real friends, only a few acquaintances, mainly people attending the same elective subjects with me.

And I should admit I was being jealous of my peers. I envied the bonds between them, the emotions running wild around, the funny and sad moments they shared, while I had nothing…at all. I was alone inside this bitter prison that had been my existence since the day I was born. And I didn't say life, because I was not alive. I just existed.

I knew it shouldn't bother me by now, I should be used to it, but I couldn't. I wanted…no, I craved to be normal, and experience all the things a woman my age should have; I wanted to be able to walk without pain, to have friends, to fall in love…..

I winced at this last thought. I looked around me, and everywhere I turned, there were couples talking, laughing, holding hands, kissing…I was being surrounded by so much love and lust that I was suffocating. How I wished…

_Yeah, dream on, Alice, dream on. This is the one thing you can never have_. I couldn't seem to be able to make a friend and keep him, and I was thinking about falling in love with a decent man? Right, as if there were any decent men around here. And even if there were, it wasn't as if I was their number one choice.

_When hell freezes over, I will be loved…._

**JPOV**

I had the same strange dream again tonight, as I did every night for the past year. It seemed to have a meaning that was still eluding me.

I was inside a forest, tall thick trees surrounding me. I was running to a specific direction, still not aware of what I was searching for. Was I looking for something…or someone?

It was dark and quiet, the only sound my feet stomping on the ground. My heart was pounding inside my chest, and I kept feeling a magnetic pull inside, a beacon calling at me…_I am here_…

I was alone, but still, I could sense her presence near me, waiting for me. I had no idea who she was, but she was the one calling for me, begging me to go to her. She was my life, my heart, my reason to live.

_I am coming….I miss you…I need you…._

She was closer now, her sweet fragrance already around me…freesias and strawberry. I could sense her emotions, a whirlwind of want, need, desire, hope…fear? Why was she afraid of me?

I burst through an opening to a beautiful meadow, and there she was, waiting for me. She was exquisite. Although a bit short, she was an angel in disguise, with short black hair and grey eyes shining like stars on her face. She was really a pixie fairy, floating over the ground, a creature not form this earth. Yet, I knew she was the one I had been waiting for so long. My heart was bursting from happiness, but strangely enough, she took a step back and fell down, her fear more evident now. I felt confused.

"Please, don't hurt me," she said, though her lips didn't move at all. "Please…."

In a flash, I was right by her side, her face inches from mine. Her eyes opened wide, taking my appearance. I took every detail of her inside my mind, locking them in my memory. She was precious to me, and my fingers involuntary touched her softly. When I reached the spot where her pulse was stronger, I moved closer and pressed my lips there. Her body arched towards me, a tingling feeling coursing through, and desire pouring out of me.

_She is mine_….

"What have you done to me? Why can't I move?" she shouted angrily. I pulled back, our eyes locked. I stared at her, conveying my feelings to her, to make her feel more at ease.

I heard her breath hitching, her heart skipping a beat. She was still afraid, her eyes were brimming with tears; she had surrendered.

"Have mercy on me..." she whispered, "please, don't kill me."

What? Kill her? My love, the woman I have been waiting for all my life? _You have it so wrong, darling_….I cupped her face gently.

"I will never hurt you! I could never live with myself if I did. I have been waiting and searching for you for a long time..." I whispered back, calming her. She was studying me, trying to understand the meaning of my words. There was a steady flow of energy between our bodies, getting stronger by every passing second, making us feel whole.

Suddenly, she was calm and relaxed, and seemed to have an epiphany. I could see it in her eyes; she knew I wouldn't hurt her, couldn't hurt her. My heart soared, my feelings flashing though my eyes; concern, determination, lust, love. And these feelings were echoing back from her, accompanied with self-doubt.

She tried to move closer, but couldn't, getting frustrated.

"What have you done to me? Why can't I move? Answer me!" she screamed.

"I am not doing anything. You are doing this to yourself," I said, willing her to understand. I would never do anything to hurt her, I wanted to protect her, to keep her safe and happy.

Suddenly, she was no longer lying on the forest floor, but was seated, my arms still locked around her. She gazed down at her body, and closed her eyes in disappointment.

I inched closer to whisper in her ear. "It doesn't matter, angel. I love you nonetheless. You are the only one I have been waiting for a long time."

I kissed her softly and she remained still, enjoying the feeling. In a blink of an eye, I found myself away from her.

"Where are you?" she cried frantically.

"I am waiting for you," I answered…and then I was being jolted to consciousness. She was gone…for now.

_She will come to me…when the time comes._


	5. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**CHAPTER 3 – Bella**

**2008**

**BPOV**

I had twenty more minutes until my next class, so I took the time to sit at my favorite spot, under the tree close to the entrance door of Building 4. I loved that tree, tall and shadowy, its leaves hanging above me protectively. It reminded me so much of home, and the forest surrounding it at the outskirts of town.

I pressed my face on its wide trunk, inhaling its scent. Oh, I missed my home so much. Well, not the house itself, but the people living inside. I smiled involuntary. I admit it; I am a daddy's girl. Don't get me wrong, I loved both my parents to death, but I always had a special relationship with my father; always looking up to him, always dreaming to follow his steps.

Carlisle Cullen, renowned surgeon, that's my father. He was a living legend; a whole building here in Dartmouth was named after him, for Christ's sake. He was the reason I had come to this university, studying to become a doctor, along with my brothers. He had been so proud of us following into his footsteps, although he wouldn't admit it. And he was even prouder because we had all managed to get into this University by our own merit, riding on full scholarship, and not because of our name.

He was the best father a child could ask for. He was kind, loving, caring and considerate. He, along with Esme, my mother, nurtured me and my brothers with love and respect, molding us into the fine individuals we had become. _Oh, mom_…

I smiled thinking of my sweet old mom. "I'm not old," she would say if she could listen to me. God, I missed her so much. Her loving embrace when I would be feeling down, her words of advice when I needed one, her delicious cooking, her constant flurrying in the house, always in motion, full of life and joy. _Oh, my, I'm getting all sappy now_. Emmett would never let me forget if he knew, but I didn't care.

I loved my family; my father, my mother, my brothers, Emmett and Jasper. I knew that all the girls, and many boys too, were jealous of my family. Most of them were jealous of our social status. We were, after all, the Cullens. We came from "old money", with a family tree starting almost three centuries ago, infested with many important members of the medical world.

_What can I say? Medicine runs in the family. _

And, besides money and achievements, did I mention that we were good-looking? Yes, you heard me right. At least, that's what all the students here, and some of the faculty members too, seemed to believe. Numerous times, I had overheard people whispering comments, ranging from sweet to horribly crude. When my brothers and I strolled through the campus, I could feel all eyes on us, full of lust and envy.

I entertained myself watching all the girls, and some boys too, swooning over Emmett and Jasper. Not that they were my brothers, but they were really handsome, each in his own way.

Emmett was my older brother. He is at his fifth year now, his mind set on becoming a Surgeon. He was huge, muscled and tall, at six feet five, with short brown hair, warm brown eyes and a pair of killer dimples. At first glance, he was intimidating, ready to protect the ones he loves, but deep down, he was just a cuddly bear.

The girls seemed to catch a drift of his conflicting tendencies, and were constantly throwing themselves at him. But he never paid any attention, as he had already given his heart away. The name of his heart's keeper and guardian angel? Rosalie Hale, a blonde goddess with violet eyes and a heart of gold, in her fourth year in Dartmouth, intent on becoming OB/GYN.

_Aww, young love…they are so perfect together!_

Jasper, my younger brother, was in his fourth year here, focusing in Psychiatry, a specialty so much in character to him. He was tall, about six feet two, well built body. His face was strong and determined, with ice blue eyes, framed by honey blond curls. He was collected and unobtrusive, his presence a calming force around us.

Like Emmett, Jasper had hordes of girls making a bee-line for him, but he didn't seem to care much. Of course, he was a man, he liked women. But he rarely hooked up with a girl and, in the rare event it happened, it wouldn't last long, his interest in them waning after a while. Since he came here, he hadn't been with more than three girls, and not for more than three months.

When he broke up with the last one, about eight months ago, I cornered him at home.

"What's up with you, Jasper? What was wrong with Lisa? She seemed nice," I said, worried for him.

He smiled at me, a faraway look on his face.

"Yes, she was. But she isn't the one for me." He paused, staring at me with a serious expression on his face.

"I will be waiting for _my_ girl forever. She will come, in time. And I have a feeling that _you_," he pointed at me, "you will have something to do with it."

"Brother dear," I said, "you _are _crazy," and, kissing his hair, I left him alone…

A loud slamming noise brought me out of my day dreaming, and I turned towards the building door. That was when I saw her.

Alice Brandon….I knew her by sight, although we did share some classes. She was one of the few people with a disability to go around campus, the nature of her disability unknown to me. I knew she wasn't completely paralyzed, that she had very limited walking ability, because I had observed her in class struggling to walk herself out of her wheelchair to her designated seat, her face always showing her pain and exhaustion. There should be something wrong with her spine, causing her excruciating pain, which had forced her on a wheelchair.

I had watched her many times, both in class and outside, going through the hardship of her everyday life, and was amazed at her gracefulness. She had a rather small frame, and a sweet face, though she never smiled. She was diligent in class, her answers and remarks showing that she was very clever, and would make a great doctor someday.

But she hated attracting attention to herself, especially in regards to her disability. I had watched her face when the idiots in class, and they were only too many, would stare down at her like watching a freak show. It was times like these that a violent side of me would emerge and I wanted to scream at them to let her be. Or, better yet, I wanted to call Emmett and Jasper to smack them down. They both would be only too willing…

She was so sad again. Why did she seem so...defeated? She was staring at the door, and I noticed the flow of people walking through the door, passing her by without even a glance. What the..?

I checked the time and suddenly wanted to hit my head on the tree trunk. Of course, how stupid of me! She was supposed to be in class in ten minutes, and she couldn't get inside, because nobody cared to hold the damn door open for her! Idiots!

I jumped up, and, picking up my bag, walked towards her. She didn't notice me when I approached her, so I reached out and touch her shoulder lightly.

"Do you need any help?"

**APOV**

A soft touch on my shoulder startled me, taking my mind out of my miserable thoughts. I blinked, noticing a girl standing next to me, and looked up.

She was about my age, with long chestnut hair and warm brown eyes, smiling softly at me. I arched my eyebrow inquiringly.

"Do you need any help?" she asked politely.

"Do you think I am here because I have nothing better to do?" I answered dryly.

She didn't flinch at my bitterness, and I immediately regretted my sour attitude. It was the first time someone gave a damn about me, and I just bit her like a rabid dog. I stared at her in disbelief. Who was she? And why the hell did she want to help me? Why did she even care? _Nobody else does._

"Look, I am sorry for being so bitchy to you. I am just not used at other people being nice to me." I paused, waiting for her reaction. Would she accept my apology?

Her expression changed minutely into surprise and…anger? Oh, my God, I had offended her! I hang my head dejected. What did I expect? She was being helpful and I blew her off. I gave it a last try.

"Please, I am really sorry. I really appreciate the offer. Look, don't mind me at all," I moved my wheelchair away from the door, "you can go inside now. I will get inside somehow, eventually. I always fend for myself."

I was already planning. Maybe, if I could move fast enough after her, I might be able to get hold of the door, and get myself inside.

She stared at me, smiling again, but didn't move. "I think we both have to be in class in…nine minutes, or else Professor Bates will give us an earful." She turned around and pushed the door open. Turning again to me, her hand still on the open door, she smirked at me.

"Are you coming? We have a lecture to catch."

I was floored, never expecting her to be so persistent. I thought she would storm off and leave me hanging high and dry. But, there was something about this girl, something special. She seemed different from the brainless girls roaming the university grounds. Her whole demeanor emanated kindness and concern for the others, a value I had never seen in any of my peers. I pushed myself through the door inside the building, and again a question popped inside my mind. Who was this girl?

She probably had sensed my internal battle, because she laughed at me. "You really thought I would leave you there! Girl, you are so wrong!" she let the door close behind me and reached out to shake my hand, her eyes twinkling with excitement.

"I am Bella Cullen, by the way," she grinned at me. Her disposition began rubbing off on me, and my lips twitched in a half-smile.

"Alice Brandon," I said and tried to pull my hand away. But she wouldn't let it go.

"Alice, I think this is the beginning of a great friendship," she quoted a line from Casablanca. Wow, Bella Cullen, famous Dr. Cullen's daughter, wanted to be my friend!? Could this be possible? Of all the girls in campus, she was the only one to really care for little poor crippled me??

_Ok, where's the catch?_

I looked at her, trying to figure her out. There had to be an ulterior motive behind. But, I couldn't find anything wrong with her. Everything about this girl screamed sincerity, like she really meant what she was saying. Still, I was having a hard time believing her. Only time would show her true colors. Maybe I could take it slow, and see where it would lead me.

"Do you really want to be friends with me?" I asked her timidly. She nodded. I went on, still confused.

"Why?" I asked her. She looked at me, frowning at the question. But I had to know the truth, so I insisted.

"Why you, Bella Cullen, member of the esteemed Cullen family, who has everything, why do you wish to be friends with an unimportant girl like me? What do I have to offer to you other than be a burden and a hassle to you?" I said, truly meaning every word I said.

She was a beautiful girl, in her own quiet way. A lot of girls would kill to call her their friend, and I was sure that many boys would die to claim her as their girlfriend. Lucky her…

She pointed at a nearby chair. "Do you mind if I take a seat? I think it will take a while." I followed close behind. She sat down gesturing at me to move near her. When I was at arm's reach, she surprised me by cupping my face firmly with her soft hands, her eyes looking disapprovingly at me.

"Now listen Alice Brandon, and listen good. I want to be your friend, not because I pity you or to make me appear kind-hearted, but because I believe that, underneath your hard exterior, you are a kindred spirit.

"You are who you are because of what you have inside. This…" she pointed at my wheelchair, "it is just an unfortunate means of transportation, not defining you as a person. You have so much to give…It is just a pity that the right person hasn't found you yet to help you shine."

Her voice was softer now. "I want to be your friend, I want to help you be the woman you truly are. Will you let me?" she asked, looking at me expectantly.

I was speechless. She really meant it! Could I be so lucky? Was it possible? After all those years of loneliness, my life seemed to change for the better.

I made up my mind quickly. What did I have to lose? Maybe I should give this a try.

I reached out and grabbed her hands in mine, my eyes suddenly rimmed with unshed tears. But, for the first time in my life, they were happy tears. I actually had made a new friend, I said to myself.

"Yes," I whispered, "I will. Thank you, so much."

She stood up, checking her watch. "We really have to go to class now, but how about we have lunch together afterwards? Are you free at two? We can go at one of the in-campus restaurants, or…Hey, do you like Italian?" she asked eagerly.

My mouth watered at the thought. _Do I love Italian?_ I nodded profusely. She grinned at me.

"Great, because I know a cute little Italian bistro, not far from here, that makes some killer pasta. Until two o'clock, then," and we both turned towards the theater.


	6. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**CHAPTER 4 – New start**

**APOV**

Ever since I began hanging out with Bella, I never expected my life would change so much. Long gone where the infinite days I spent drowning into anger and despair. Her sweet kind soul was a beacon of light in the bitter hell that had been my life since the day I met her, always looking out for me, without making feel useless. She was smart enough to let me be independent and helped me only when I ask her to. And let me tell you, it was something that was happening rarely now.

There was nothing I couldn't do when I was with Bella. We saw each other every day, either through classes or during our free time. We had lunch together every day, chatting and laughing non stop about everything. I discovered that we had a lot in common; books, music, movies, even fashion. Although her family was filthy rich, she preferred being "simple but tasteful".

She was not a fan of expensive things, allowing herself only one indulgence; her car. It was a brand new Vanquish, fast and comfortable, a birthday present from Edward Masen, her boyfriend of two years. Yes, one of the first things she did when we went out for lunch that first day, was to introduce me to him. And I must admit; they were perfect for each other, true soul mates.

Edward was also a medical student, a year older than Bella and me, a future Surgeon. He also came from a wealthy family, with a strong line of prominent doctors in its ranks. He was tall, at least six feet two, handsome and agile. He had coppery hair, that tended to be in disarray, and bright green eyes that sparkled with love and joy whenever he looked at Bella.

When Bella first introduced us, I must admit I let my prejudices take over. I couldn't believe that a man so perfect, even if he was the one dating Bella Cullen, would be "nice" to me. But, to my astonishment, he was a true gentleman. He treated me as a human being and not as a helpless little pet. And, just like Bella, he made me feel like a normal girl. We talked, we laughed, we argued. I really felt accepted by them, no, I felt…loved.

Tears filled my eyes at the memory of that lunch meeting. It was the first of many to come.

I was still amazed by the fact that both Bella and Edward made sure to include me in their life as much as possible. No matter what their plans were, they tagged me along. They had given me the chance to experience many things for the first time in my life.

I knew now what "having a good time" really meant. They had taken me at many outings with them, always making it easy for me without smothering. I even went to a karaoke bar, and, let me tell you, it was a blast, and I am practically begging Bella to take me there again, to try my singing!

She beamed at me when I told her that. "That's my girl," she said. "You are slowly coming out of your cocoon, my little butterfly."

I scoffed at her comment. "Yeah, say that again when you will be helping me get on stage…" She rolled her eyes at me.

"Alice, always remember; you can do everything you want! All I ever do is giving you a helping hand. Isn't that what friends do for one another?" she said pouting her lips. It was my turn to roll my eyes at her. No one, and I really mean no one, is able to resist Bella and her pouting.

She grinned at me, knowing she had won. I groaned, because, deep inside, I knew she is right. I just have a hard time embracing the whole concept of "Alice-can-do-anything" thing.

"Hey, Alice, I forgot to tell you. Edward and I are planning on going out for dinner later with some friends. You are coming," she said. "Be ready by seven."

This new invitation reminded of what I wanted to talk to Bella about.

"Bella," I called at her to get her attention, and it worked. She stopped her reading and looked up at me.

"Why do you keep inviting me out so often? Not that I don't enjoy it thoroughly, but…don't you want some alone time for you and Edward? It seems I am hanging out with you too often, and you always exert yourselves to make me comfortable.

"You drive me around, you help me in and out of my wheelchair, you open doors for me, you help me make my way through crowded places…the list is endless. You have no couple time, I am constantly there not letting you breath.

"I love you both. I value your friendship infinitesimally and I appreciate everything you have done for me. I think it is my turn to do something in return, and that is to allow you to be alone without me, and be the young carefree couple in love that everybody in this university knows and envies. So, I have to decline on your offer this time," I stopped, choking at my guilt.

**BPOV**

I was speechless, listening to Alice, watching her crumble under her guilt. Silly, selfless girl! Why did she have to think so little of herself? _I guess living your whole life been told you are nothing but a burden and a duty makes you believe it is the truth_, I scolded myself. Except her parents, no one had ever showed her kindness or affection.

I put my book away and moved to sit at the kitchen table, our "discussion spot" in the apartment. She followed me close and took her place there, her eyes forlorn. I reached out my hand to her. She hesitated a bit, but then reached out her hand, too, and took hold of mine.

"Alice," I said, "I have known Edward since we both were in diapers, our parents being old friends themselves. I have been in love with Edward since high school, and we became officially a couple almost two years ago. I love him and he loves me, we know it, but we are not the "lovey-dovey" kind of couple. We don't have to cling on each other to know we are together."

"Thank God for that," she muttered under her breath. I chuckled inwardly at her comment, but became serious again.

"Sometimes, it takes a simple thing to show your feelings. This is how it is for me and Edward. We may be in a crowded room, away from each other, but just a look into his beautiful eyes can tell me what a million words can not.

"We don't want to suffocate in our relationship, we don't have to. We are not each other's property, but my heart belongs to him and vice versa. So, I don't spend every single minute of my life keeping Edward on a leash, I don't have to. We are soul mates, and we have time to do everything at its own time; study, have fun with friends, spend quality time as a couple.

"Trust me, Alice, if and when we might need alone time, we won't be shy to tell you so. After all, you are a sister to us both."

As soon as I stopped talking, Alice was in tears. I was startled by her reaction; it was not what I expected.

"Alice, I am sorry. I didn't want to make you cry, I..." I started apologizing to her, but she put her hand up to stop me. Composing herself, and wiping her tears away, she came close to me and hugged me as tight as she could.

"Thank you, Bella. You are truly a gem. I wish I had met you years ago. Maybe…maybe I would have become a better person," she mumbled on my shoulder.

I rubbed her back in reassurance. "You are the best friend…no, you are the best sister I could ask for. Never ever doubt how much Edward and I love you."

"I know you do," she sniffed, "and may you always be happy and in love. I wish," she paused, "I wish I could be half as lucky as you are in love. But, who am I kidding?" she said, her voice tired. I pulled a bit from her, my hands pressed on her face, as I spoke.

"Sister, there _is_ a man out there for you, I swear. He is your missing half, your perfect match, your soul mate. And, no matter how hard things may seem to you now, you _will_ find him. He is waiting for you, just be patient. Have I ever been wrong?" I told her sincerely.

I wasn't lying to Alice to make her feel better. Call me a psychic, but, for some time now, I had a "feeling" that Alice would find happiness at last. And those "feelings" of mine were never wrong.

"Yeah, sure," was her only response. I knew she didn't believe me. She knew all about my strange "ability", but she was afraid to get her hopes up. Time, only time….

_**A few days later**_

**APOV**

Bella had all her attention at the book she was reading, lost in the main characters' struggle, so I moved to her desk and switched her laptop on, to check my e-mails, maybe shop online a bit. The whole procedure took no more than ten minutes, and then I turned it off, satisfied with myself. I had just purchased a nice designer dress, a bit pricey, but it would fit her like a glove and accentuate her beauty. _Edward will thank me for it_, I grinned at myself. It was the perfect present for Bella's birthday.

Now I had nothing more to do, not until Edward would come over to take me to my dorm. Now wanting to disturb Bella from her book, I let my eyes wander around the room.

Not having to live in the small dorm rooms was one of the many advantages of being a Cullen. Instead, she and Edward were living together in their own apartment near campus, with more space and light available than necessary.

It was the penthouse of a modern building with a breathtaking view of the area and the surrounding forest. No matter how stressed I might be, when I came out in this balcony, all my worries slipped away and I felt at peace; with life, with God, with myself.

The apartment itself was spacious, with four bedrooms and separate bathrooms, a large kitchen and an even larger living room. It had so much room to spare that they had a music room with a baby grand piano in it, for Edward, who, apart from his many skills, was also a music genius. I had listened to him playing many times, and every time I was in tears from the emotions emanated from his performance.

He had even composed some music of his own, and both Bella and I loved to hear him play our favorite; Bella's Lullaby. It was a sweet little piece, that helped us calm down or fall asleep, a lullaby indeed. It reminded me of my parents, lulling me to sleep as a little girl, tired and carefree.

On the countless times I stayed overnight, when it would be too late for me to return to my dorm room, he would always play it for us. I loved being here, at this house with Bella and Edward, not for the space or the luxury of the apartment, but because here I felt at _home_.

We had become very close since we first met. As I was an only child, and due to my disability, had always been lonely, Bella and Edward became the siblings I wanted. They both loved and cared for me dearly. Their kindness was overwhelming some times; I just couldn't believe that such incredible people really existed. I couldn't find ways to thank them enough, and when I tried to express my gratitude, they both would hug me and tell me "Love you, little sister." They wouldn't even let me buy gifts for them easily, unless I would sneak around and shop online, a feat very difficult to achieve.

I turned around and Bella was standing behind me, gazing at the forest below.

"What's up, girl?" she asked me, a little frown on her face. "Are you alright?"

I smiled at her sisterly concern. "I am fine, Bella, really, just enjoying the view." I checked my watch. "Hey, what time is Edward coming by? I have to go back to my dorm to finish a paper."

Bella didn't answer me, her mind lost in thought. I knew better not to disrupt her when she was in think-mode. So I was startled when she suddenly spoke to me.

"Alice, I want to talk to you about something," she said. Oh, oh, this is not good, I thought.

She felt my anxiety because she quickly added "No, Alice, it's nothing bad, I can assure you. In fact, I think it is something very good," she grinned at me. I watched her waiting for her to continue.

"Well, I've been thinking…You know how much Edward and I love you and consider you as a sister to us?" I nodded. "I hate it every time you have to leave and go back to that crammed box that is your dorm room, and having that horrible Jessica Stanley as a roommate," she added horrified.

I chuckled at her tone. Truly, Jessica was an awful girl, always treating me like dirt at her shoe. I had often wished to change roommates or get a room by myself, but, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it. No free single rooms, they told me.

"I agree, but you know I have tried everything to get out of it" I answered.

"I think I might have found a solution to your problem," she said again, smiling her "I-know-something-you-don't-know" smile. I raised an eyebrow.

"What is it, Bells? I have thought of every possibility."

"No, no, you haven't," she was beaming now.

"Well?"

She smiled at me. "Move in here with us." My jaw dropped in surprise.

"Are you serious?" I asked, not believing what I had just heard.

"I always am, you know that. We have thought about it for a long time. Thank God, we have so much room available, we can accommodate a whole football team if we wanted to," she said, satisfied as a well-fed cat.

I was speechless from their thoughtfulness. I could feel the tears filling my eyes, ready to come thundering down. I gazed at my best friend, no, my _sister_ in awe.

"You really love me that much to be willing to burden yourself with me?" I managed to choke out.

**BPOV**

I sincerely meant what I had said, but I could see she wasn't fully convinced.

_Oh, Alice, after all this time, you are still doubting me! _

"We have been friends for how long? Six months? Have either me or Edward ever hidden our true feelings?" I wasn't really angry at Alice, even if I sounded like I was. After all, she had, painfully and slowly, confided the story of her life to me.

After everything she had been through all those years, I understood why it was so difficult for her to trust anyone. She couldn't help it, it was ingrained in her. And I knew how hard it was for her to let her guard down for us. She might seem strong and fearless, but deep inside, her soul was brittle, ready to crumble under fear. She was terrified to trust, she was betrayed over and over again that expected nothing more. It was brave and risky on her part to let us closer.

I could remember clearly how clammed up she used to be, in the beginning of our friendship. She would come along whenever we invited her, but she was mostly an observer to our group. It took a great deal of effort from us to make her feel more at ease and become a more active participant. Her disability made her self-conscious, feeling unequal to us and our peers. It was only a little time ago that she seemed to be thinking better of herself.

Edward and I did our best not to baby her, letting her be independent and pushing her to overcome her disability and live her life to the fullest. We loved her too much to treat her like an invalid, and she never proved us wrong.

We now knew her well and were in sync with each other. Everything we did for her came naturally, it was never an obligation but always a loving gesture to her tortured soul.

I had thought about Alice moving in with me for some time now. My parents knew everything about her and agreed wholeheartedly with my decision.

"We trust you, sweetheart," my father told me when I discussed my idea with him. "You are a clever young woman, and a good judge of character. If you truly have faith in her, then go ahead and ask her," he smiled at me.

"Dad, gee, thanks for the vote of confidence! I really believe in her, she is like a sister for me, and for Edward too."

"You talk about her so much, your mother and I feel we already know her. So, please, feel free to invite her here whenever you think best. Your mother will love having another daughter to dot," my father chuckled.

I grinned to think about my parents, and then turned my attention to Alice again. She was still going over my proposal, visibly in internal conflict. She really wanted to accept, but her fear of being pitied and a burden held her back.

I kneeled in front of her and took her hand in mine.

"Ali, stop doubting us and yourself. I truly want you here. You are the sister I never had. My parents know how important you are to me, and they can't wait to meet you, "their youngest daughter". Oh, you will love Esme! She already adores you and is dying to spoil you rotten.

"So, will you please move in with us?" I finally asked her.

She had listened to me quietly, never interrupting me. But, as soon as I finished my little speech, her face changed in an instant. It was like she was having an epiphany. She stared at me with tears running down her face and nodded happily.

"Yes, Bella, I will move in with you guys. Thank you for wanting me here."

I squealed happily and she joined me soon after. And that was how Edward found us, planning in detail the best and fastest way to move her things in. He immediately understood and, approaching Alice, kissed the top of her head.

"Welcome home, sister," he simply said, and I couldn't agree more.

_Welcome home, indeed…._


	7. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**CHAPTER 5 – The Cullens**

**APOV**

I was in the middle of my Pharmacology class when I felt my bag vibrating. I reached inside and grabbed my cell quickly, to see that I had just received a text from Bella. I read, trying to be inconspicuous: _Lunch at 3, campus caf? Hav surprise 4 u. xxx_. I smiled at her funny way of messaging. I texted her back, agreeing to our lunch date. But I couldn't help worrying about her "surprise" thing. What was Bella up to?

Finally, Professor Atkins dismissed us and everybody fled the room in a hurry. I waited for everyone else to leave and, taking my time, I made my way to our meeting place. Thankfully, since I began hanging out with Bella and Edward, people started treating me a little better.

As I reached the cafeteria door, a guy held the door open long enough for me to enter. I thanked him and turned around, scanning the area for my friends.

"Alice! Over here!" she waved at me from the left side of the room. I pushed my way through the tables to where she was sitting with Edward. Bella hugged me tight, while Edward just nodded smiling.

"How are you, sister dear?" Bella giggled innocently. I rolled my eyes before answering "Fine." I looked around us curiously. "Shall we go and grab some lunch?"

"Edward will go for us. We stay here and wait for your surprise," she grinned at me.

"My surprise is coming by itself?" I inquired, puzzled.

"Well," Bella said guiltily, "they are here." She looked right behind me and I could hear footsteps approaching behind me. I involuntary turned around and my jaw dropped to the floor.

A mountain of a man was standing behind me, his arm snaking around the waist of the most beautiful girl I had seen. He was tall, muscular, with brown hair, soft brown eyes, and a pair of cute dimples on his face. She was a few inches shorter, but still tall, with a curvaceous body, long blond hair and deep violet eyes. They both looked at me in a friendly way, though I couldn't help but feel insignificant compared to them.

Bella cleared her throat. "Alice dear, I would like you to meet my big brother Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie Hale. Emmett is a senior here, focusing on Pathology, while Rosalie is a junior, with an interest on OB/GYN.

"Guys, this is Alice Brandon, my best friend – sister, as you have already know." The couple shook my hand and, grinning at me, plopped on two empty chairs.

"Hey, little one," Emmett said, "it's so nice to have a new sister. I think we will get along just fine," his dimples were on full display. I blushed profusely.

"Um, thank you Emmett, Rosalie," I stared at my hands on the table, their acceptance making me feel shy all of a sudden. Rosalie decided to save me from further embarrassment.

"Emmett, can you please get me a salad and some water?" she said batting her eyelashes at him. He merely blinked once and stood up obediently, Edward following suit.

Bella waited for the guys to leave and then turned to me. "So, what do you think of my surprise?"

"It was…unexpected, but otherwise, good. I am really glad to meet you two, Rosalie," I was sincere at my declaration. Despite their looks, their hearts were in the right place, their kindness radiating off them. I liked them.

"Don't worry, Alice," Rosalie replied, "you will get used to us in no time. You are family now." She squeezed my hand in encouragement, and at that moment, the boys returned to our table with our food, and we fell into small talk, getting to know each other. I was really having a good time, feeling at ease with Emmett and Rosalie.

Two hours later, we all had to go to class, but not before we exchanged numbers and after they made me agree to go out with them all on Friday.

"Where will we be going?" I asked.

"There's a new club we have been hanging out a few times now. It's called New Moon and it's awesome. We can even have dinner first and go to the club later. Are you in?" Emmett was looking at us eagerly, expecting our answer. We all chuckled at his impatience; he was like a big kid waiting for a new toy.

"Yes, sure, I'm in," Bella said, turning to her fiancé, "your last class ends at 4 o' clock, will it be enough time for you to rest and get ready? Do you feel like coming?" He nodded, and, looking at her adoringly, kissed her passionately, then whispered at her. "You know I can't stay away from you."

"Aww," Rosalie cooed, "you are so cute you are making me jealous." She suddenly smacked Emmett's arm. "What?" he exclaimed. She was pouting, her arms crossed in front of her. "Why can't you be more like Edward?" she sighed. Emmett rolled his eyes at her, but instantly, swept her in his arms dramatically and, peppering her face with soft kisses, whispered at her ear, "Because we both know I am better than him. I may not tell you enough how much I love you, but I make sure to show you that, every damn minute of the day."

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. A small smile played on Rosalie's lips. "Yes, baby, you surely do."

I was blushing furiously at the public displays of affection in front of me. I was happy for both couples; they were made for each other. But I could not help feeling sad for me, because I was again reminded of the things that I wanted but could never have.

I shook my head, pushing my sadness away. I didn't want to make my friends feel guilty for being happily in love. I put on my mask and smiled at them, but Bella was staring at me, a concerned look on her face. Shit, she saw me! I tried to be nonchalant and changed the subject.

"Friday is cool? Is it going to be just us, or will we be expecting more company?" I inquired. Bella took out her cell and checked her messages. "Just us; Jasper texted he can't make it."

Emmett grinned at my confused face. "He is my younger brother. He was part of today's surprise but got stuck with one of his professors and couldn't escape him. I really hoped he would at least come on Friday, but…" he trailed off. "Did he say why? Some hot date, maybe?" He turned to Bella, waggling his eyebrows.

"Hm, he didn't elaborate. You know Jasper, he doesn't kiss and tell." She paused for a while, thinking about her brother obviously. "But I don't think there is a woman involved. He is waiting for his soul mate to come."

"I swear, this boy isn't my brother, he is such a prude," Emmett laughed loudly, earning another smack from Rosalie. "What?" he yelled, again.

"Honey, I love you, but sometimes I can't stand you! Just because he isn't a man-whore doesn't mean he is a prude. He doesn't wish to spend himself in meaningless encounters," she finished.

Bella nodded in agreement. "Leave Jasper alone. I have a feeling that, next time we see him with a girl, it will be for ever." Was it me or her eyes flickered on me when she said that? Nah, I was just imagining things. As if it was possible that her brother, who would probably be as handsome as the rest of the Cullens, would see me as anything more than his sister's friend. _Yeah, dream on, Alice_. As if Jasper would spare a second glance at me….

A girl can only dream, right?

_**Same day, at night**_

**APOV**

I was wandering aimlessly inside a forest. Green was surrounding me, tall trees towering above me, their heavy shadows suffocating me. I was walking through the trees slowly, not sure about which direction to go to find my way out.

It was quite dark now, as the thick leaves allowed little light to pass through, and eerily quiet. But, curiously enough, I was not afraid, not even a little bit. I was feeling at ease in this moss-covered environment, the trees having a calming effect on me. It was peaceful, relaxing, soothing my mind and my soul.

I was completely alone in the forest, I knew it. Still, I could sense another presence in the vicinity, quickly approaching me, as I was standing in a clearing. I had no idea what or who this being was, but, while my mind was screaming at me to run for my life, my heart was begging me to wait.

As time went by, I could feel his emotions getting stronger, clearly a sign that he was coming closer. But I sensed no malice or animosity coming out of him, although he emanated an array of emotions in waves, their intensity engulfing me completely.

I staggered as he was consciously letting me know his wishes and desires. And all he wished and …desired for was…_me_? Was this creature a human? How could he know that I was here, inside this forest, in this particular spot, right this minute? How did he know to come searching for me? He was near, I could feel him, I could sense his mind vibrating from excitement. Hell, I could almost smell him…honey and cinnamon.

I could hear him approaching now, his heavy footsteps coming slowly closer. He was the predator and I was his prey, inching his way to me every passing second. I swallowed hard at the thought.

_But he means no harm_, I thought, opening my mind to him. His emotions came crashing down on me, pushing me to the ground, completely defenseless.

"Please, don't hurt me," I begged silently, praying to be heard. "Please…."

In a flash, he was next to me, his face inches from mine. My eyes opened wide at the sight of him. He was a glorious man, one I have never seen before, but looked strangely familiar. My eyes roamed his body, drinking his handsome features.

He was tall, at least six feet, with a muscled, well built body. His face was strong and chiseled, his eyes were the deepest blue I had ever seen, his lips were warm and soft. His blond curly hair were crowning him like a halo, commenting him even more.

His eyes were staring at me like a prized artifact, his fingers ghosting on my cheek, my lips, my neck. When he reached the spot where my pulse was stronger, he paused momentarily and came even closer, pressing his lips there lightly. My body arched towards him, a tingling feeling coursing through me. What is happening to me? I tried moving my body, but his strong emotions still were overwhelming me, pinning me to the ground like invisible shackles.

My mind was in disarray, my feelings getting distracted more and more by him. My heart began beating faster, like I was running for my life….and maybe I was. Why can't I move? He is responsible for this, I know. Why is he doing that if he means no harm?

"What have you done to me? Why can't I move?" I accused him angrily.

He pulled back a little, so that his eyes were locked with mine. They were different now, not the deep blue I remembered. Now they were dark, almost black, burning holes in my soul, turning me to smoldering embers.

My breath caught in my throat, my heart skipped a beat at the ferociousness of his stare. He was really a killer, I thought, I was going to die by his hand tonight.

Tears filled my eyes, now two grey pools of despair, and run down my cheeks, but I didn't care. So this is how I am going to die. Here, deep inside an unknown place, in the hands of the most breathtaking creature I had ever laid eyes on, without ever knowing why.

"Have mercy on me..." I pleaded, "please don't kill me," I whispered.

He recoiled like I had slapped him. He cupped my face like he was touching fragile porcelain, his other hand still on my neck, feeling my heart beating.

"I will never hurt you! I could never live with myself if I did. I have been waiting and searching for you for a long time..." his deep throaty voice whispered at me, calming me immediately.

I studied his face, trying to understand the meaning of his confession. I suddenly realized that my hand was touching his face softly, enthralled by the feelings it was stirring inside me, strange and unknown and all-consuming.

Wherever our bodies were connected, there was a flow of energy between us, getting stronger by every passing second. But we both never made a move to disconnect, savoring the sweet contentment and fulfillment we felt.

Now, I was looking into his eyes, and though they were still coal black, I knew it, inside my heart, that he wouldn't hurt me, that he couldn't hurt me. I could see many emotions flashing in his eyes rapidly, before I could decipher them. Concern, determination, lust…love?

I was shocked! My heart stopped and lurched again from excitement. Was this possible? Could he have these feelings for me? Could he really love me? Could my dream have come true? A perfect man could love…me?

I tried to move closer to him, but I still couldn't move. I was frustrated, to say the least.

"What have you done to me? Why can't I move? Answer me!" I screamed at him. He was unfazed by my outburst, and continued to look at me with adoration.

"I am not doing anything. You are doing this to yourself," he said, his eyes willing me to understand. I glanced lower and, suddenly, I was no longer lying on the forest floor. Instead, I was, once more, sitting in my God-damned wheelchair, still engulfed by my Greek god's arms. Oh, hell, it was good while it lasted, being free from the stupid chair, walking without pain, without help.

I closed my eyes in disappointment. Then I heard his silky voice at my ear, like music, "It doesn't matter, Alice. I love you nonetheless. You are the only one I have been waiting for a long time."

He brushed his lips against mine, like butterflies on a flower. Oh, the taste, the sweetness of those lips…I was intoxicated by it. I closed my eyes to enjoy the feeling, and when I opened them again, I was alone. I searched around me frantically for him.

"Where are you?" I cried.

"I am waiting for you," he answered from afar. He nodded once and in a blink of an eye, he was gone for good.

"NO! NO!" I screamed and my eyes opened again, revealing my surroundings. I was in my new room in Bella's apartment, lying on my bed, all alone again. _No_, I whispered, _it was only a dream_. The god-like man that loved me fiercely was nothing more than a lie, an illusion of my mind.

"Alice," my door opened slowly, a worried Bella appearing behind it, "are you alright? I heard you screaming." I curled on my bed, trying to calm down my erratic heart.

"Go to sleep, Bella. It was just a bad dream."

_**Next morning….**_

**APOV**

"I have an excellent idea," Bella said, plopping herself on the couch. I was watching a mindless sitcom, trying to pass the time with something else besides studying.

"What is it?" I asked without looking at her. Probably she wanted to try some new restaurant or club. "Should I be worried?" I joked.

She feigned hurt, putting her hand over her heart. "Sweetie, I am appalled! Have I ever had a _bad_ idea?"

I shook my head, because she was right. She never ever had a bad idea. It was just that I was still not into trying new things or going to new places. But I decided to let her lead the way once again.

"Ok," I said turning the TV off, "what this excellent idea of yours?"

She grinned at me, mischievously. "Tomorrow it's Friday, right? We all finish class at four. I thought it would be nice to visit my parents for the weekend. They have been bugging me to meet you. And the rest of the gang will be there; Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, me! And you will finally meet my other brother, Jasper! Come on, it's going to be great!" She was glowing, her mind already planning ahead on how our weekend should be spent more pleasantly. I bit my lip nervously.

"Bella," I hesitated, not knowing what to say. She spoke of her family so often, I felt like I already knew them. And they knew all about me. "I don't know…maybe I shouldn't come….you haven't seen them for some time now. I don't want to intrude," I finished lamely. She snorted.

"Cut the crap please. I have been thinking about it for a long time, and now it's the perfect chance. You will be with family and friends, - well, you are family, too – and don't start about inconveniencing my parents. The house has plenty of room for all of us to sleep, and you'll be able to move around easily. My mother is a firm believer of "less is more" when it comes to furniture. Everything is been taken care of." She then gave me her famous puppy-eyes look. "Please, everybody else has agreed, you are the last one. It's going to be so much fun."

Oh. She was irresistible. I groaned inwardly, because we both knew she had won, and hang my head low. "Ok, you won, I'll come. Let's hope we won't regret this."

"Yeah," she bounced up and down, and then hugged me tight. "You'll see; you'll love it." I chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"I have to call the others and then finish packing. I have to call Esme, tell her that we will all be there," Bella said and run to her room.

I had to admit, I wanted to go to this trip. I wanted to meet Carlisle and Esme and…Jasper. I felt butterflies in my stomach. What was that? I hadn't even met the guy. Last night's dream came to mind, suddenly I could still hear the beautiful man dominating me in it, whispering, "I am waiting for you…"

I couldn't see the connection of my dream to my visiting the Cullens' house. So why did it pop up when I thought of Jasper? There was something strange about this dream. It was too intense, too powerful, too real. It was more like a vision, something that was bound to happen. I wished it could be real, I prayed that _he_ could be real. But it was nothing more than wishful thinking.

My mood was gloom, and I didn't want to curb Bella's enthusiasm. So, I composed myself shaking the dream off, and followed Bella to her room.

"What time should I be ready tomorrow?"

_**Friday afternoon…**_

**APOV**

The trip to the Cullens' estate was not a very long one. It was only natural for them to live in New Hampshire, but at the very outer limits of it. It was situated deep into the surrounding forest, the drive to the house nearly invisible to the main road. If you hadn't been here before, you would surely miss it.

I sat comfortably at the back seat of Edward's car, enjoying the scenery. It was autumn now, and the trees were slowly losing their leaves, golden brown and thick. The road leading to the house was well kept, thick bushes lining both sides.

"We are here," Bella's voice brought me out of my reverie. I took out the sight in front of me, and my jaw hung open in awe.

"Is this really your house?" I managed to stammer out. Oh, my God…I was by no means poor, in fact my parents were quite comfortable financially, and we too lived in a nice house, but this…. This was unbelievable! It was a mansion, three stories' high, expanding right in front of me.

The design was modern, with glass panes covering most of the exterior and long drapes hiding the interior from intrusive eyes. As if anybody would manage to reach this far inside the property. I had noticed security guards and dogs discretely patrolling the perimeter and grounds. They were the Cullen family, after all, rich and famous. There would always be people envying and trying to harm them.

Edward parked his car into a garage spot already waiting for him, next to a massive Jeep.

"Good, Emmett and Rosalie are already here," Bella explained. "He must have driven like a lunatic. Alice," she turned around facing me, "don't you ever get in his Jeep. This is an experience you don't want to have." Her expression was serious and I gulped nervously. "Thanks for the heads up, I won't" I said.

"Come on, ladies," Edward said, "let's get upstairs. Carlisle and Esme are waiting for us, especially you, Alice." He opened the car door and waited for me to get onto my wheelchair.

"Thanks," I muttered, "like I am not nervous enough already!" I was getting a bit panicky now, thinking of the weekend ahead of me. Maybe it was a bad idea to come, after all. I was going to cause too much trouble to this house. How could it be possible that I would be able to move freely inside this fabulous house, even with my custom-made wheelchair? With my luck, I might knock down a priceless vase or scratch the perfect oak floor.

"Love," she said turning to Edward, "we'll go ahead so I can introduce her to my parents. Can you handle our luggage by yourself or should I send Em down?" He shook his head and she sent him a kiss in appreciation. She started walking and I followed until we reached an elevator. I wondered why they would ever think of installing an elevator in this house.

"It's three stories high, silly girl, of course we need the elevator," Bella answered my silent question. I was flabbergasted! How the hell did she know what I was thinking?

She laughed wholeheartedly. "Your face is an open book, your thoughts and emotions are displayed clearly all over," she said as we entered the elevator and she pressed the button to the first floor. "I must warn you, though; they will indulge to your every whim," she informed me, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

I was puzzled now. "Why do something like that? I don't like people spending time or money on me; hey, I don't even let my parents to buy me things." I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, as the door opened and we exited into a spacious living room. I could see two very comfy looking couches and an armchair situated around a huge marble fireplace, while on the other side of the room, I could see a large dining table, capable of accommodating at least fourteen guests.

There was also a massive library, lining one of the walls, its shelves filled with a variety of books. Other than that, the room had no more furniture, leaving me ample room to move around.

I stopped for a while, as I passed by the library, checking random book titles. I noticed there were books on medicine, history, interior design, literature…My eyes lit up reading some of my favorite books among them.

A soft cough caused me to turn around abruptly to the sound. A handsome couple, both in their forties, was smiling at us. He was tall, with dirty blond hair and baby blue eyes, while she was a bit shorter, with caramel wavy hair and warm brown eyes. I immediately realized they were Carlisle and Esme Cullen, Bella's parents.

They were nothing like I had imagined them to be. Their whole presence radiated kindness and parental concern. It was obvious that money hadn't affected their personalities or their way of life. Of course, they lived in comfort; they were filthy rich after all. But I knew from my experience with Bella that they never flaunted their wealth and always devoted a lot of their time and money to help others through charities.

"Alice, meet my parents, Carlisle and Esme," Bella made the official introductions. I glided closer, reaching out to greet them properly.

"So, you are the girl we have heard so much about," Esme said while giving me a warm hug. I blushed at her words and turned to Bella. "I am sure she exaggerated a lot, Mrs. Cullen."

"Please, no formalities with us. It's Carlisle and Esme, dear. After all, you are Bella' best friend, and from what I have heard, both she and Edward consider you as a sister. We'll get to know each other very well," Esme gushed, her eyes shining with joy.

"Esme is right, Alice," Carlisle added, "you are entitled to everything this house has to offer. Don't be shy, you can ask for anything. I like to cater to my children's every wish and need."

I blushed again as I thanked them for their kindness and their hospitality. "I hope not to be too much of a nuisance. It can be difficult having me around," I said, "I don't want you changing your lives to accommodate me."

Bella kneeled next to me, bringing her to my eye level. "Never say that again. We love having you in our lives. You are no trouble at all." She seemed hurt by my words. I was ashamed by my whole demeanor towards her and her parents. I took hold of her hands and squeezed them, in a way to show my appreciation.

"Forgive me, Bella, for being so difficult and hurting your feelings over and over again. I do not doubt _you_. I doubt _me_ and you know _why_."

She gave me an apprehensive look that didn't escape her parents' attention. I bit my lips, afraid of what her parents might know about me. She saw my face and, realizing what I was thinking, shook her head slightly. She hadn't said a thing to them, I was sure now, but, they knew nonetheless.

Carlisle broke the awkward moment of silence in the room. "Why don't you show Alice where she will be staying for the weekend? Your mother has arranged for her to sleep in Jasper's room, since it has a lot more space than the guest rooms."

I tried to protest, because I didn't wish to invade Jasper's privacy. "No, please, I don't want to intrude in your son's room. I don't even know him. I am sure one of the guest rooms will be fine."

Esme waved her hand in dismissal. "Absolutely not! You are not a simple guest. We have heard so much from Bella, that we feel like we already know you. We think of you as a daughter, so it's only natural to sleep at Jasper's room. Don't worry, he is aware of it and doesn't mind at all."

I finally accepted the offer and thanked them, then followed Bella to the elevator again.

"Come," she said as the elevator door closed and the car began his ascend to the second floor, where all the bedrooms were located. We moved to the end of the large corridor and stopped in front of the last door. "Here we are," she simply opened the door, motioning me inside.

I instantly loved the room. Although it obviously belonged to a man, it was decorated tastefully, in earth tones and style. In the far left corner, where the walls were replaced with large windows, there was a large king size bed with a magnificent golden cover. At the other side, there was a desk with a laptop resting on it, while the rest of the wall was covered with a vast collection of books and CDs.

"Your family really likes to read," I joked at my friend. She grinned sheepishly. "Wait until you see my room." She stepped back a bit, allowing me to get familiarized with the room.

"What do you think? It's nice and comfortable. And over there," she pointed to a door to the far right corner of the room, "it's the bathroom. This room has the most space in the house and, since it's farther from the other rooms, it's very quiet. Jasper likes his space and quiet."

"Hm, I don't know your brother yet, but I like him already! He is a lot like me, and I love his taste in books and music," I blushed, realizing what I had just blurted out and the double meaning behind my words. Bella's laughter filled the room.

"Oh, Alice, you _are_ really something else! I can't _wait_ for you to meet Jasper…."

_Well_, I thought to myself, _I can't wait to meet him, too…_

The rest of the weekend at the Cullens' was great, to the least. I fitted in their circle perfectly and was having the time of my life. I easily roamed around the house, exploring the plentitude of books and music and movies. I even got to play games with the guys on the PSP, losing pitifully but fully enjoying myself.

Carlisle and Esme were extremely kind to me, making me feel instantly welcome. They treated me like their own, as a normal young woman, not a useless child. Never once during my stay was I forced to ask for help. I did everything I wanted to do by myself, and I was ecstatic. I loved feeling accepted by them. I sometimes couldn't believe how easily they had embraced me, but they did. And I came to regard them like second parents to me, filling the gap in my heart from being away from home.

I had no idea how much about my disability Bella had told her parents, but they never asked anything about it. Even Carlisle, being a doctor himself, was very discreet, letting me know that, whenever I wished to talk, I was more than welcome to bother.

"There are many options for you now, Alice," he finally hinted at me. I smiled but let the offer pass, at least for the time being. I was so scared to even think about my condition, and thankfully, he let it go.

Esme was really the dotting mother I thought she would be. She made sure to indulge to our every wish. She even arranged and took us girls to a spa in town, for a few hours of pampering, something I experienced for the first time but thoroughly enjoyed. I even agreed with Bella to try that again in the future.

I explored Jasper's room further, since it felt like home. I even used his laptop to check my e-mails. My mother was ecstatic when I called and told her where I was spending the weekend.

"Oh, honey, I am so happy you have such good friends! Are you having a good time? Do they have a nice house? Of course they do, what am I thinking? It's the Cullens we are talking about! And how is life with Bella going? She is really a good friend, dear. She really has your best interest in mind."

Yes, mom, like I didn't know, I chuckled internally at my mother's prattling. I let her ramble on, questioning me about my weekend and school, and I ended the call promising to call her on Sunday, after my return home.

So, when Sunday came, I was sad to leave them. But Bella was quick to lift my spirits.

"Don't worry, sweetie, we are always welcome to come whenever we want. My parents loved having us all here." She paused, her mind already planning in advance. "Hey, winter break isn't far. They will be too pleased to have us for Christmas. You never know real Christmas if you don't go through the Cullen festivities. And hopefully, Jasper will be here too." She grinned at me, a strange glint in her eyes. I had noticed the same reaction every time she mentioned her absent brother. I just couldn't pin down the reason.

The guys had already put our stuff in the cars and, after lunch, we said our goodbyes, piled into the cars and started our trip back to the university campus.


	8. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**CHAPTER 6 - Jasper**

**APOV**

Ok, so Wednesday was officially the worst day of the week for me. And today was particularly harsh. Not only I had my last class end at seven o'clock, but today was the day that Professor Davis had lost track of time and ended his lecture almost an hour later.

As soon as he dismissed us, my fellow students had picked up their books and fled, while I was the last to leave, since I needed my time to move from the bench to my wheelchair. I flung my bag on the back of the chair and exited the classroom. I got out of the building hurriedly, since I was supposed to meet Bella and the gang at the cafeteria, and I was late, though I had texted her earlier about my being late.

I shivered involuntary, as the cool evening breeze hit me. I glanced around me and I anxiously noticed that I was completely alone, not a soul in sight. I didn't like moving in the secluded areas of the campus, feeling as a sitting duck for danger. Granted, I had never heard anything major happening around the campus grounds for some time, but better be safe than sorry.

I pushed myself forward as fast as I could, trying to reach the safety of the cafeteria quickly. I cursed myself for not asking Bella or Edward to pick me up, and I didn't to linger in the dark to do so now.

"Two more turns and I will be safe," I tried to push my anxiety away.

Just as I turned the corner, there were two men, their backs on the wall, laughing at some crude joke. I tried to hurry past them, when one of them stepped quickly in front of me, blocking the way.

"Hello, sugar," his creepy voice caused me to shiver again in fear. "Don't you know it's not safe for a darling like you to strut around here alone?" he laughed loudly, menacingly, and his friend joined him. They were all around me, circling me, trapping me. I looked around, searching for a way to escape them, but it was futile. I wasn't fast enough to outrun them…I was screwed.

"What …what do you want? Please, leave me alone," I begged, to no avail. They weren't touched by my pleas.

The man behind me snatched my bag and opened it, throwing everything out, taking my money and credit cards, along with my cell phone. Then he looked at his pal, having a silent conversation, before turning their gaze upon me.

I was terrified…They were evil, I could see they had something sinister on their minds. The first one, obviously the leader, leaned closer and took hold of my chin. "How about we have a …good time? I am sure you aren't getting any,,,if you know what I mean?" he said, winking at me. I was disgusted and horrified. "I will show you a good time…baby….You can thank me later," they both chuckled, sensing my fear.

Suddenly, I was in the air, violently pressed against the wall. His hot breath reeked of beer, and blew at my face, making me sick to my stomach. "Mm, you are such a sweet little thing….we are going to have so much fun!" His hand was shoved between my thighs, rubbing and feeling me up roughly. I started thrashing in protest, hitting him as hard as I could on the chest and managing to slap him a few times on the face.

He was not fazed at all, just laughed even harder and gave his buddy a nod. In mere seconds, I was thrown on the ground, my arms pinned over my head, while he got situated between my thighs, his eyes sparkling from lust. "I bet you are still a virgin, aren't you? God, I am such a lucky bastard! I love my women to scream," he said in a low, menacing voice that made my blood freeze and my body go limp. I heard a tearing sound and felt my shirt being ripped open and my lace-clad breasts exposed to his claws.

For a moment I couldn't move, as I slowly realized what was going to happen to me, and was well aware that there was nothing I could do to stop it. After all, what more could I do? I was a four foot ten girl against two grown, burly men. I would never stand a chance.

But I still could not go without a fight. The man in front of me started fumbling with my pants, trying to undress me. My survival instincts kicked in and, once again, I started struggling against their hold, while doing the only thing left for me to do, my last hope; I screamed, as loud as I could.

"HELP! Please, HELP ME!" and then something hit me hard on the head, and I blanked out, with one last thought on my mind.

_I am doomed….. _

**JPOV**

I was running late again in the library, doing research for my last project. Bella and our friends were waiting for me at the cafeteria. Today, I would be meeting the infamous Alice, my sister's best friend and roommate. From what Bella and our parents had told me, she was a kind-hearted girl and I really wanted to meet her. My studies were taking up a lot of my time, and I had missed hanging out with the people I loved.

I exited the building and ran towards the meeting point. It wasn't very far, only two blocks away, but this particular spot was one of the worst-lit and desolate places around the campus. I was the only one here, my footsteps echoing in the silence.

As I was passing by the first building, I heard a woman scream, freezing me to the spot.

"HELP! Please, HELP ME!" was all she said, and then I heard a slapping sound. I turned immediately and run towards the direction of her voice, while pressing speed-dial to call Emmett.

_Please, _I prayed, _let me help the poor woman_. I could only imagine what would happen to her, unless I made it in time. I stopped momentarily when Emmett answered my call after only two rings.

"Hey, little brother," was all he said before I cut him off.

"Meet me behind the library. NOW!" I barked in a tone that he knew too well not to defy, and hang up. Putting my cell away, I took the scene unfolding right in front of me. A wheelchair was standing alone on the paved road, its occupant nowhere in sight.

I walked silently closer and I noticed movement in the shadows on my left. My eyes widened at the picture unraveling before me; two scums had another person, probably the woman I heard pleading for help, pinned on the ground. I didn't have to have a lot of brain to understand exactly what they were trying to do. I went instantly from freezing to boiling point.

"Bastards! Leave her alone," I snarled, and as my eyes adjusted to the low lights, I took in the woman's state. Her shirt was torn open, and her pants already unzipped and pushed down a bit. I was relieved to see that I had come just in time, before their plans came to fruition. She was hurt, but not too seriously. She would be okay, eventually.

Pretty boy," the leader, situated between her legs, spat at me," leave. It's none of your fucking business."

"Protecting innocent women from dirt bags like you is my god-damned business," I yelled back, seething in anger. The bastard smirked.

"You do realize you are outnumbered, do you?"

"Come and get me, then" I sneered, bracing myself for the attack.

The leader looked at his minion and, with a small nod, gave the order for attack. "Laurent, my boy? Give this prick a lesson."

"I'm on, James," the minion stood up, and came closer to size me up. I was not afraid; adrenaline was flooding my body, pushing my fear away. I was a good fighter, I had a lot of practice with Emmett, and those two lowlifes didn't stand a chance. I was only afraid for the helpless girl still in their clutch.

He lunged at me and I moved swiftly to the side, hitting him hard, shoving him to the ground. He regained his composure and stood up again quickly. He were circling one another, looking for the right moment to strike.

Only a few seconds had passed when he attacked me for a second time. I managed to avoid him, again, and rendered him unconscious with a precise hit on the face. I turned to face the other one.

The leader, James I think was his name, was angry. He, too, was standing now, holding the defenseless girl pressed to his body like a shield. I moved an inch closer, but his cold voice stopped me.

"I wouldn't move if I were you," he said and I saw something silver shine in the moonlight. "Back off, pretty boy, or I will slit her throat," he threatened. At the moment, I was glad she was still insentient, because she would be scarred emotionally for life.

"Touch a hair on her head and you are a dead man. I will hunt you down and I will fucking kill you." I was furious at this excuse of a man. "Put her down gently if you value your life. Leave and never show your face again."

He stared at me through hooded eyes, thinking his options. He couldn't hold his position for long, he had to run and he knew it. He glared at me, his eyes flickering between me and the tiny girl in his arms. He licked her cheek deliberately slow down to her neck, lingering there more. _What the hell is he doing to her_? I wondered, my mind working overtime on strategic plans to take him down, when he suddenly threw her down, his crouching form facing me.

"She is mine…I just marked my property. You shouldn't have come between me and my prey. You will pay for spoiling my fun, but not today." He paused a little. "Watch your back," were his last words before he vanished into the dark.

I should have gone after him, but I didn't wish to leave her alone. The Laurent guy was still unconscious, so I rushed to her side, still lying on the ground, and picked her up, cradling her in my arms. She was so tiny, I could hold her forever without getting tired.

I pulled out my cell to call my brother, but didn't have to. The sound of an approaching car caused my head to jerk in alarm, when I saw my brother's Jeep screech to a stop near me and him jumping out, coming to my side.

"Jasper," Emmett shouted, "what happened? Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"Jesus, you scared me! I thought it was him…Why didn't you come any sooner? I really could use your help a little while ago." I noticed his eyes gazing at the girl cradled in my arms. Her face was barely visible, buried in my chest. Her half naked body shivered involuntary to the cool night breeze. I pulled her ripped shirt together, trying to cover her up the best I could, with not much success. I sighed.

"I am here, she is fine. She was attacked by two men. I was just in time. I made her safe. " I was whispering now, my eyes gazing at my angel. "Call the police, and then Dad; see if he is at the hospital now. If he is not in, ask him to come as soon as possible. I want him there for her, I trust no one else." He just nodded and made the call. After he was finished, he spoke again.

"We are lucky. He has the late shift. I have explained everything and he is already waiting for us. The others are coming, too." He scanned the area around us questioningly.

"Where are the men who attacked her?"

"The leader just left, pissed off about losing his prey. The son of a bitch threatened me that I will pay for spoiling his fun," I used the air quotas to mark his words. "If we don't get at him first…" I whispered, mostly at myself, but Emmett caught me, his eyes opened wide from worry. We could hear the police coming closer.

"No, brother, don't even think about going after him. You don't even know who he is! Let the police handle this, ok?" he pleaded. I nodded, just to get him off my case, and explained to him where the other assailant was laying, still out like a light. Emmett walked over and showed the semi-conscious man to the policemen, explaining what had happened.

They took over and grabbed the man, shoving him into the back of the cruiser. They wanted to question us about the incident while we were waiting for the ambulance, and I tried to answer the basic questions. I gave them all the information I could about the two men, including their names, but begged them to leave me alone until the girl was checked by a doctor. They left me alone, after I promised to go by the police station for a more detailed deposition.

I couldn't explain the feeling, but I was drawn to her, I needed to protect her, to keep her safe. As I held her in my arms, I didn't want to let her go. She stirred a bit from time to time, whimpering in pain, her face still hidden, and every time my heart twitched for her.

"Who is she?" Emmett came closer to get a better look. As soon as his eyes fell on her face, he was confused at first, and then he gasped in horror.

"Oh, my God! Alice!" he cried, falling to his knees next to me, taking hold of her cold hands.

I was startled. This small girl was Alice, Bella's best friend? I glanced further behind my brother, and there stood a small wheelchair. I pointed at it.

"Go bring her chair." He did as I asked and put her on the back of his car. At this moment, Edward, along with Bella and Rosalie, came in his car. My sister hurriedly came to me, to see Alice with her own eyes, and burst in tears.

"It's my fault, it's my fault….I should have insisted to pick her up, since it was getting so late…If I had come, she would have been happy and unharmed," she wailed. I tried to comfort her.

"Bella, you couldn't possibly have known something like this would happen. This kind of crime has never happened here before. They were outsiders, common criminals. I wonder how they managed to evade security."

Bella was still crying softly, so I turned to distract her. "Help me get her in Emmett's car. Dad is already expecting us. Come," I nudged her softly," we have to take her to the hospital."

I relaxed a bit and let my eyes gaze upon the frail girl cradled in my arms. She was a sweet little thing, her black hair and fair features resembling a pixie fairy. I hoped there was nothing wrong with her and, with Bella's help, I managed to get into the Jeep, and sped to the hospital.

She suddenly stirred, her eyes fluttered opening slowly. She stared at me confused.

"Alie!" my sister cried in relief from the front seat. "Thank God, you are alive."

She turned her head slowly, wincing slightly at the movement. "What happened? I …I don't feel so good…nausea… I can't remember a thing." She eyed us cautiously for some time, and her eyes opened wide when she saw me.

"I know you!" she stuttered, "I have seen you…You attacked me?! And then you said you loved me??" I looked at her incredulously. _What the hell?? _

Bella reacted quickly. "No, Alice, NO! He is Jasper, my brother. Two men attacked you on your way to the cafeteria, and he fought them both to save you!"

Her eyes were dancing around the speeding car, seemingly unable to focus. Her fingers moved, feeling the skin through her shredded shirt. "Why is my shirt open?" she asked weakly.

I glanced at my sister, wondering how much I should tell her about the attack at the moment. I took a deep breath.

"Alice," I started, "these men, well…they tried to…rape you." Her face was paler now, her breathing labored, ragged, her body suddenly was jerking violently.

"She is going into shock!" I yelled at Emmett. "Hurry up!"

"We are here," he replied immediately. He stopped his car in front of the ER doors, Carlisle already waiting outside with a gurney. I got out of the car fast and ran to him.

"Put her on the gurney. I'll take it from here. Since you are the one who rescued her, you can come with me. The rest of you are kindly requested to stay at the waiting room. I will try to come to you as soon as possible." He nodded to us and turned to leave, me hot on his heels. I had to make sure she was fine.

**APOV**

I wanted to open my eyes, I really did, but I just couldn't find the strength to do so. I was feeling so tired, my body ached, like I had been running for a long time. _Running? But I can barely walk!_ I wondered, my mind having a coherent moment. I was dizzy and foggy. _Where am I?_

I could feel being lying down on a bed, but it wasn't mine. It was a bit hard and uncomfortable, but strangely familiar. A hospital bed? _Why am I in a hospital?_ What happened to me?

I searched my mind trying to remember what might have happened to land me in a hospital, with not much success. I vaguely remembered last class ending late in the evening. Me moving to meet with Bella at the cafeteria. Me in a dimly lit area….my breathing hitched.

Suddenly, last night's events, which I had subconsciously pushed them back to avoid the pain I had felt, came crashing back at me, causing me to shake and whimper.

I remembered, all too clearly, the two vile men blocking my way, snatching my bag. I saw them, again, dragging me out of my wheelchair and oppressing me against a wall.

I was shaking harder, remembering their hands on me, tearing my shirt, grabbing me in disgusting ways. I could recall every obscenity they had spat at me, while they had me pinned down on the cold ground, trying to undress me completely, to follow through their sick little plan.

I could see myself terrified, crying for help and then…nothing…

_No…it can't be….No, God, please! Tell me that my worst fear has not become real…Please, don't tell me…I was…raped?_ I was screaming in my mind, my body shaking, and the horror I was feeling caught up with me.

"No!" I screamed again, as I felt two strong hands grabbing my arms, holding me down. "No, let me go! Let me go! Don't hurt me…." I cried hysterically. I had to fight, I had to. I wouldn't let them hurt me, not again. I struggled even harder, to no avail.

"Alice!" a kind voice called at me, "Alice honey, calm down. You are safe, you are in the hospital. It's me, Carlisle."

I went limp instantly. _Carlisle? He is here? It's okay, he loves me_, I kept telling myself to calm down, _he will protect me, he will keep me safe_.

I slowly opened my eyes, trying to adjust to the blunt hospital lights. Carlisle's face was in front of me, staring at me with concern. He smiled at me, a bit more relaxed now.

"Hi, sweetheart. Thank God, you have opened your pretty eyes. We were all so worried for you." He released my arms and started checking my vitals.

"Carlisle," I asked him warily, "what happened to me? My head hurts, my body is in pain, and….I remember almost everything about last night, up to some part that is." I closed my eyes, afraid of the question I had to ask. "I was attacked," I winced. "Was I…raped?" I blurted out, cringing for the incoming blow.

A strong hand took hold of my small one, startling me, and a husky voice answered me, instead of Carlisle. "No, you were not. I would never allow it."

I opened my eyes to see who the person that answered me was, and I found myself staring at the god-like man of my dream. My face blanched and my heart was beating faster. _Is he real?_

I instinctually pulled my hand out of his grasp, an irrational fear of him taking over me. He wasn't expecting this reaction, I could tell, and his handsome face took a hurt expression on, though he composed himself quickly, and pulled away, too, staring at his feet.

"I am sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, Alice. I just wanted to make sure you are ok. I will leave to let you rest." He smiled shyly at me, and left the room. Carlisle followed soon behind, puzzled, muttering "I will be right back."

As soon as I was alone in the room, I couldn't help but feel bad for my behavior towards him. I could remotely recall myself waking up in his arms inside Emmett's car, and Bella telling me his name. Jasper….I was mortified!

Jasper, as in Bella's brother? He was the one saving me from my attackers? _That's great, Alice_, I scolded myself, _nice way to show your appreciation for his chivalry._ He had risked himself to protect me, someone he didn't even know, and that's how I was repaying him? By treating him like he was the one trying to harm me? How messed up I was?

But, it wasn't completely my fault. My imagination got mixed up with reality, and I confused him with the man from my dream. I thought of my dream, going over every little detail of it in my mind.

I could remember that, in the beginning, he seemed to be attacking me, but then, my dream self realized that he wasn't holding me against my will. I was the one who couldn't leave him. I had felt a strong connection to him, a powerful sensation surging inside me. And lastly, I remembered the declaration of his love for me, and his farewell, telling me he would be waiting for me.

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. It was a strange dream indeed. How was it possible to dream of someone that I hadn't met before, and then bump on the person in reality? Maybe it wasn't a simple dream, maybe it was some kind of vision? Maybe fate had decided to give me a glimpse of my future. But why was I afraid of him in the beginning? Why he seemed threatening?

I spent a lot of time in deep thought. Finally, realization hit me. I wasn't afraid _of_ him. I was scared of what he was meant to be _for_ me. He was the man to mark my life and my existence forever. He had stirred my cold lonely heart and sparked emotions inside me that I always prayed for, but never hoped I would feel.

He was everything I would ask of a man; tall, handsome, gentle, kind, caring, the list could go on forever. I had heard so much about him that I felt like I had already known him.

My train of thought was stopped abruptly as I realized something. I was in love with Jasper! I had fallen for him, before I even met him in person. _How more pathetic can I be_, I chuckled darkly. As if it was possible, such a perfect man like him, to see me as something more than his sister's friend. _Yeah, I am quite the catch for him, being tiny, child-like and wheelchair-bound. Sure, Alice, sure, keep saying that and maybe you even believe it._

I sighed dejectedly. I tried to be positive about the whole situation. At least, I was lucky to even taste the feeling of loving a man. It didn't matter that he didn't feel the same. I would be content just to be near him, even as a friend.

I realized now that those were the things I had to do; first, keep my feelings for Jasper a secret, and second, apologize to him for my behavior earlier and thank him properly for rescuing me.

Right on cue, the door opened, and Carlisle, along with Bella, came inside the room. She smiled and rushed to hug me.

"Alice! I was so worried. Dad says you are fine, apart from some cuts and bruises." She showed me a small duffel bag. "I have brought a change of clothes for you, to get you out of here. Edward is bringing your wheelchair up as we speak."

"Just take it easy for a few days, will you? You are lucky to escape with only some bruising," Carlisle said casually, as he was handing me my discharge papers. I looked at him, and realized what he really meant, causing me to shudder. If Jasper hadn't intervened…I owed him, big time.

I turned to Bella. "Ok, Bella. Help me get dressed, I can't wait to go home and put this ordeal behind me." I smiled at her. "I hope the clothes are decent." She mock-glared back. "I have better fashion taste than you and you know it." We burst out laughing and, in a few minutes, I was dressed and waiting for my transportation.

But it was Jasper bringing my wheelchair, not Edward. I was surprised to see him, especially since I was so rude to him earlier. I had to apologize and thank him properly now.

He brought my chair next to my bed and pulled away, giving me space. Ok, I thought, this is awkward. His eyes flickered between me and the wheelchair.

"Do you need any help from me?" he asked me politely.

"No," I snapped at him, a lot harsher than I should, "I can manage."

I took hold of my bed rail, and put my feet slowly on the floor. I stood up, feeling the familiar excruciating pain through the lower half of my body, but ignored it as always. I walked the first baby step I needed to maneuver myself and plopped on my chair.

I exhaled loudly, aftershocks of pain coursing through me from moving. I closed my eyes to catch my breath, and after a few moments, I was calm enough to open them again.

He was looking at me intensely, like he was trying to see right through me. I remembered how I had treated him twice in a day and blushed in shame.

I wheeled closer and raised my hand, taking hold of his wrist. "Jasper," I started, staring at his hand, "I am sorry." He shifted on the spot, probably feeling uncomfortable.

"Why?" he asked.

"For everything. You have saved me from the worst fate for a woman, and I never thanked you properly. You were only kind and caring, and all I ever did was being rude and hurting you." I paused, taking a little breath. Looking up at him, I got lost into his deep blue eyes that seemed to burn like fire.

"I usually am better behaved," I added weakly and he chuckled, causing the tension between us to evaporate instantly.

"I believe we haven't been properly introduced," he said, his eyes sparkling with humor. "Jasper Cullen. You are Alice Brandon, Bella's friend and my parents' newest daughter." He took my hand and pressed it against his lips. I felt a tingling sensation where his lips were touching my skin.

Oh, my God…I was a goner! I was blushing like a fool. And when I looked at him again, his cheeks were a pretty shade of pink. I could not believe what I had just witnessed. Did Jasper Cullen, god among men, really _blush_?

A small cough brought us out of our little bubble. We jerked and turned to Bella, who had an innocent glint in her eyes. "Mmm, if you are done, can we leave? Edward is waiting downstairs."

"We are leaving," I moved hurriedly to the door. Jasper was already there, holding it open. I bit my tongue not to snap at him, but he spoke before I could say anything. "A gentleman always holds the door open for his lady."

I blushed again like crazy, for the millionth time. Did he just call me _his_ lady? I arched an eyebrow questioningly at him.

"Let's go home. I miss my bed already," I said and pushed myself to the exit.

**JPOV**

Things between Alice and me had improved a lot since that fateful day. We fell into a comfortable form of friendship, and I found myself spending every minute of free time I got with Alice, Bella and Edward. I recently realized that I liked Alice. She was a strange little thing. She was wary of me at first, although she was grateful for being her knight in shiny armor. But the first time I touched her arm absentmindedly, she flinched in fear.

I have to admit, I was hurt, but she couldn't help it. After all, she was abused and almost raped not so long ago, it was only expected from her to be afraid of men touching her. She was the same with Edward and Emmett, and she loved them both like her brothers.

Thankfully, after Carlisle's insistence, she had a few sessions with a therapist to help her deal with her attack. She struggled to come to terms with the events of that night, and with the fact that she had escaped unscathed. She relaxed around us at least, but we still were careful at our interactions, not wishing to make her uncomfortable. She wouldn't have any of that, though.

"I swear to God, guys," she screamed so loud, I think the whole university had heard, "I am not a fragile china-doll. I know you are worried for me after…the attack…but, really, I am fine now. Treat me like you used to, I am not going into hysterics any more." She paused, her eyes glazing a bit. She refocused after a while and stared teary-eyed at us. She shook her head.

"Not all men are evil," she muttered, as if talking to herself.

My heart ached in an unfamiliar way for the small girl in front of me. I hated seeing her in pain. Her sad eyes were glued on me now, and she looked like a lost puppy. Her gaze was haunted, mesmerizing, waking emotions in my long dormant heart.

I wanted to put my arms around her and take her anguish away. I wanted to caress her face and whisper that she could lean on me, that I would always protect her, even from myself. I wanted to kiss her, to love her…

I instantly froze, my heart speeding up as I realized what had just passed through my mind. _Do I really want all that_, I wondered and looked at Alice once more. She was an exquisite young woman, one I had come to respect and care for deeply. _Well, not just care_, my heart reminded me. I felt butterflies in my stomach, like a teenager again, and found myself swimming in a warm grey sea.

A smile appeared slowly on her face, making her glow like the sun, and then she blushed and tore her gaze away. My eyes never left her, I was mesmerized. And I quickly noticed that she was glancing at me often, smiling and blushing every time I caught her. _God, I love her blush, she is just too cute for her own good_…

We also had the same taste in books, music and beliefs. We were a perfect match and, as Bella once teased, we were soul mates. I couldn't agree more to that.

_Oh, I love her. But she doesn't feel the same, does she?_

**APOV**

Oh, Lord, I love Jasper! I couldn't help it, he was too kind, too gentle, too giving. I couldn't help but love him. He was everything to me, he had so many qualities that it was inevitable for me to fall in love with him.

My eyes would steal glances of him, as he would talk and joke with our friends. I could feel my heart jump when I would see him smile. He was tall and handsome, a Greek god walking on earth. He made me wish I could walk, so I could launch myself into his arms and pepper his face with kisses. I wanted to touch him, to kiss him, to love him. I wanted to be with him every single minute of the day.

My eyes caressed his face, my soul tingling with happiness. I had tried to be sneaky but failed miserably. He caught me staring too many times, but never laughed at me. He just gave me a breathtaking smile, that made me feel lightheaded, and I blushed like a fool.

There was a small problem; he was my best friend's brother. He couldn't feel the same. He probably thought of me as a sister, someone he had to take care of and protect. I just had to keep my mouth shut and never say a word about my feelings. It would be humiliating to admit my love for him. As if he would ever look at me any other way, little crippled me. I couldn't give him what he wanted and deserved, I was only a burden. I should just be glad we were friends…

"He will never be mine…I am just a friend to him." Right?

**BPOV**

_These two are idiots_! I wanted to smack them both, so that they might see the obvious attraction between them.

Whenever Alice would look at Jasper, her heart was practically shining through her eyes, conveying everything she was feeling for him.

When Jasper would look at Alice, his eyes were full of love and adoration, always ready to cater to her needs.

How could they not see it? How could they be so obtuse? I could take a wild guess at the reason why she would think that her feelings were not reciprocated; her being on a wheelchair and not counting as a "whole" person.

But Jasper? Why in hell he couldn't man up and make his move? I could see clearly that they both were hurting, since they were in love but thought it was one-sided. I couldn't just stand by, letting them suffer silently. I had to act, but how?


	9. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**CHAPTER 7 – Family knows**

**CPOV**

I was going through Alice's medical files for the hundredth time, when I heard Bella's chime-like voice from below.

"Oh, Alice! Don't be mad, it was just a joke…"

"You are insane," Alice sounded like an angry kitten. "He is your _brother_, for Christ's sake! He is…Jasper and I am…" she paused, but kept on talking, though her voice was lower now, more hollow. "Just drop it, ok? It's not funny."

"I am sorry," my daughter sounded sincerely apologetic. "It's almost four, I think my father must be at his study now. Let's find out?" she said changing the subject. I decided it was my cue to make my presence known. After all, I was about to have a very serious talk with Alice, one that had the potential to make her or break her.

"Up here," I said through the half opened door of my study. I waited for a few minutes and soon I could hear them approaching.

Bella came in first and let Alice follow. My eyes flickered between the two girls; Bella seemed both sorry and smug, Alice was flustered and nervous. Her gaze darted anxiously everywhere around the room but me. She was scared to death about the intended topic of conversation.

My daughter knew everything, so, after giving me a faint nod, kissed Alice's cheek and left saying "I'll be waiting in my room." And then it was Alice and me.

I gestured at a spot near my desk and she reluctantly obeyed. We were facing each other. Here we go…

"How are you, sweetheart?" I gently asked the panicky girl.

"Fine as always, thank you," she shrugged. I watched her biting her lower lip and suddenly…

"You have read my file, Carlisle," she blurted out all of a sudden, "you have asked to see me. What is it you want to discuss with me?"

"I have read your file, it's quite interesting. Have anyone explained the nature of your condition before?" She nodded. "Then, I won't go into the technical details too much. The bottom line, Alice, is this; a new procedure is being developed, and I firmly believe it can repair the problem in your spine that causes you pain and hinders your ability to walk.

"I won't lie to you. The damage in your spinal cord is severe, and the vertebrae there will be too stressed to handle. The estimated success rate of this surgery is good, depending on what we would find once we have opened you up. You will have post-op check-up, but we will not have a clear view until the actual surgery.

"There is a chance that your vertebrae won't connect properly with the titanium spinal support device aiming to relieve some of the excess stress in the area. And before that, we have to perform a very delicate surgery to solve the stenosis problem, to allow the blood flow more freely. We will also put artificial discs wherever necessary to relieve the nerve compression and minimize the pain."

I finished talking for the time being, letting her comprehend the medical and technical details. Her posture was tense, she was sweating, and her hands were clasped to one another. She was in full panic mode now, so I rushed to her side, kneeling in front of her.

"Calm down, please. It's scary, I know, but I had to tell you the cold hard facts. You have to make a decision, and soon. I can't sugarcoat anything. You have to decide if you are willing to take the risk," I finished and squeezed her hands, trying to ease her mind.

"I care for you deeply," I went on, "Esme and I love you like our own daughter. So I will give you some advice; take your time and think this over. When you feel better, call me and I will arrange all the tests required. Then, we can talk again." I smiled at her, but she remained silent. _Hm, where is Jasper when I need him? He would calm her in seconds_.

She startled me by leaning forward and latching her arms around my neck, hiding her face on my shoulder. Her tiny frame started shaking and I could definitely hear her sobs. I tried soothing her, rubbing her back, though I knew she needed to let it all out, in order to find her peace of mind.

**JPOV**

I was in my room, working at a pressing project, when a knock on my door interrupted my train of thought.

"Who is it?" I asked, irritated by the interruption. The door opened and closed, and I heard soft footsteps on the carpet stopping right next to my bed. Then the bed squeaked.

"Hello, brother dearest," my sister teased.

"I have work to do," I remained unfazed by her attitude.

"Hey," she said mocking me, "and I thought you would be happy to know that Alice is here, talking to Carlisle as we speak."

My head shot up immediately, and I turned towards her. "Why? Is she okay?" I asked, suddenly feeling worried. Her eyes twinkled with amusement, but then became serious again.

"He wants to talk to her about a new surgery for her…problem. As far as I am aware of, there are many issues to be addressed. Poor thing, she must be terrified by now…"

The though of Alice being sad or upset was unnerving. I stood up swiftly, but as I tried to move past her, Bella grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

"When will you admit your feelings for her?" she accused me, while I stared back with my mouth hanging open like an idiot, blushing for the first time in my life. "You love her and she loves you, too. Quit being stupid, do the right thing and be happy. You both deserve it." She released my hand and ushered me to the door. "Go to her."

I rushed to my father's study as fast as I could. I raised my hand to knock but stopped as I listened to the conversation inside the room.

"_Calm down, please. It's scary, I know, but I had to tell you the cold hard facts. You have to make a decision, and soon. I can't sugarcoat anything. You have to decide if you are willing to take the risk,"_ my father was talking to Alice, his tone soothing and calm.

"_I care for you deeply," _he went on, _"Esme and I love you like our own daughter. So I will give you some advice; take your time and think this over. When you feel better, call me and I will arrange all the tests required. Then, we can talk again."_ I could hear my father smile, but she never uttered a single sound.

There was silence at first, as my father's words were sinking into her brain. Minutes passed by, when suddenly, I heard someone sobbing. Alice...she was crying…_baby girl….I am here for you_, my heart ached for her. My father was whispering at her, trying to comfort her.

I couldn't stand still and let her suffer like this. I had to ease her pain, so I knocked on the door and pushed it open without waiting for a response. Carlisle smiled at me in understanding, while Alice peeked at me, hiding at my father's shoulder.

"Son, I am so glad you came. I think you are just the right person to keep Alice company at the moment." He gently pulled himself out of her embrace and, kissing her head, got up. "Take your time, sweetie," were his parting words before he returned to his files. I was right next to her in a flash.

"Hey, pixie," I smiled at her and she grinned back through her tears. "Wanna talk about it?" I asked and she nodded shyly.

"Where to, my lady?" I asked in mocking indignation.

"To your castle, my lord," she played along. "Lead the way and I will faithfully follow."

Soon after, we were inside my room, no Bella in sight. But my sister's words were still, running around my mind.

"_When will you admit your feelings for her? You love her and she loves you, too. Quit being stupid, do the right thing and be happy."_ I loved her, for that I was sure. But was Bella right? Did Alice really love me? Should I remain a friend to her, or should I take a leap of faith and declare myself? Surely Bella wouldn't lie, Alice being her best friend.

Then I remembered all the smiles, glances and blushes that she had sent me and I felt like dying from extreme happiness. _She really loves me!_ In that moment, I made up my mind…

"Jasper," her sweet voice called out at me, bringing me out of my reverie. I scooped her in my arms effortlessly, and placed her on my bed, making sure she was seated comfortable. She tried protesting but I silenced her, putting a finger on her lips. She blushed again. _Darn, she is cute._

"We have a lot to talk about, so I need you to be at ease." She remained mum, but her eyes followed me around. I pressed the play button to my stereo system, filling the room with low, soft music. She lit up with recognition.

"Claire de Lune?" she whispered fondly, "I love it. It reminds me of you. Calm, serene…" I climbed on the bed next to her.

"It's my favorite, too, ever since I have met you. It is like you. Sweet and caring," I said, staring right in front of me. I felt her tremble momentarily. _Is she cold,_ I wondered, and instinctively, I put my arm around her.

Strangely enough, she snuggled closer and, little by little, she relaxed in my embrace. I was glad she was calm now, but still, we had to talk.

"Talk to me," I twirled her hair around my fingers. She tensed again. "You are terrified and confused, Ali, I can practically smell your fear. Talk to me and I promise you will feel better afterwards." She gazed at me, full of doubt and awe. I was puzzled.

"What?" I asked her. She blinked twice and shook her head.

"I have always thought you are a wonderful person and yet, you manage to amaze me even more." She inhaled sharply, as if to gather up her courage, and kept on talking.

"From the first moment I saw you, I have always felt safe around you. You care for me and I feel I can trust you with anything; my thoughts, my fears, my life…" she paused and whispered something so low, but still, I heard it, "…my heart."

I managed to not show I had heard her, though my heart was bursting with joy and excitement. Kissing her forehead, I searched for a way to make her feel more at ease, but she beat me to it.

"Can we try something?" she asked shyly, blushing like crazy.

"Anything you want," I answered.

She ducked her head down and patted my thighs. It was my turn to blush, but thankfully, she didn't see me. I picked her up easily and placed her between my legs on such a way that she was pressed on me, my arms circling around her petite frame. Her hand was running up and down my body, a small smile on her lips.

I was ecstatic. I had the girl that meant the world to me right here in my arms. _Can life get any better_, I thought. _Yes, it can_, my heart replied. _If only she can be mine_…

"Carlisle talked to me," she started again, "about a new procedure which has potential. Leaving out the gory details, I don't think I can handle recalling them right now, but it is a rather radical, experimental surgery, with good results. It is a complex procedure, with a high probability of making everything worse."

She was shaking now, stress evident and her posture, her hand still on my chest, gripped on my shirt. I held her closer and kept rubbing her arm.

"Calm down, baby girl, please," I begged her. "We can stop any time, you don't have to tell me anything else if it is upsetting you too much." She held on me tighter before she spoke in a low voice.

"I fully understand the issues involved, but I also feel this is my only chance to be free from my wheelchair. I want to be able to walk, to be independent, to be…" she stuttered, "…whole. But I can't forget the fact that something might go wrong, and then the damage might become irreversible."

She stopped abruptly and put her arm around me, her head pressed over my heart. I let her be, enjoying the feeling of having her in my arms. She smelled lilac and vanilla, a heavenly scent.

'I love listening to your heart beating," she murmured. "I don't know why, but it calms me." _My darling angel_, I grinned. I brushed my fingers on her cheek, revelling at the feel of her soft skin.

Suddenly, I felt wetness on my fingertips and realised they were tears. Why was she crying? Did I do something wrong? I lifted her face up, worried.

"Sweetheart, why are you crying? What is wrong? Is it me? You can tell me anything. I don't like see you in so much pain. It…hurts me," I finished lamely.

She looked at me through her tears, and slowly, she raised her hand to cup my cheek. I watched her face closely, trying to decipher her expression. I could see an avalanche of emotions rolling off her; fear, surprise, concern, love and, finally, determination. She took a few deep breaths to gather up her courage.

"I will have the surgery, I made up my mind." Well, that was not what I was expecting.

"No, Alice, no. Don't decide now. It's too soon. You heard Carlisle. Take your time, think the pro's and the con's. There are a lot in stake here," I argued.

"I know," she replied, "but it's my only chance and I will take it. I can only pray everything goes well. I trust Carlisle's abilities and, if I am lucky, I might be able to walk like a normal human being, or, at least, with a cane. In any case, I will be free from that damn chair.

"I am just tired of being a Halfling, dependent on other people's kindness. I want to feel worthy of the man I love…" she stopped, mortified for her slip-up. I froze….she was in love? Who was the lucky bastard that had captured her heart, but made her feel so undeserving of his affections?

Bella was so wrong….It was impossible for Alice to love me, because it was me who didn't deserve her. I had to find who this man was, and beat him senseless until he realised how fortunate he was for having an angel like Alice loving him.

"Alice," I whispered, scared to death, my heart ready to break in a million pieces, "who is he?" She shuddered in my arms, her heart fluttering like a bird. "Please," I begged her. _God, I am late. I have lost her_.

"Jasper, I never meant to tell you this…" her voice was like a soft breeze to my ears, "not before I have the surgery. I wanted to be able to stand on my own, to be equals."

"It never mattered to me whether you could walk or not," I interrupted her. "You are the most amazing woman in the world for me. I lo…" I stopped. I couldn't reveal my love for her, it would be unfair of me to make her feel guilty for not returning my affections.

"Who is he?" I repeated, completely numb. The silence in the room was deafening, until she uttered one simple word that set my world on fire.

"You."

It was barely audible, merely a whisper. But it seemed like a thunder had struck, shaking the whole house from the ground. My mind was blank. Had I heard correctly?

"What did you say?" I asked again, my faces inches from hers. She lowered her eyes, but I wouldn't have any of it. I moved her so that she was lying in my arms like a baby, though she tried to squirm away from me. I wouldn't let her go, not before I heard it again.

"Answer me!" I insisted. She was now shaking like a leaf. "Please…."

"You…I love you….always and only _you_," she chuckled darkly. "I am sorry, Jasper. I know you don't feel the same, but I couldn't keep it inside me anymore. Don't feel bad or guilty, it's really ok. I don't deserve you, after all. What do I have to offer you anyway? I am not good enough for you, I will never be," she closed her eyes, a few tears escaping down her face.

"Forgive my outburst," she apologised. "Forget everything I said, and promise that you will still be my friend. I don't want to lose you," she was sobbing now, her face pressed on my shirt, soaking it.

I was stunned. Was it possible to feel as conflicted as I did at this particular moment? I was beyond myself from happiness because she loved me, and at the same time, I was anguished over her misery. She was heartbroken, believing that I didn't return her feelings. I had to make everything right.

"I must tell you something, Alie…something very _important_," I said as her sobs began to die down. Her eyes snapped open wide, full of shock and dread.

"No, Jasper, don't! Don't say it!" she tried to stop me. "I don't want to hear it, I don't need your pity. It's not your fault I have fallen in love with you. You simply are too damn good for your own good. Forgive me for throwing this on you. I am being unfair and selfish. Maybe…maybe we shouldn't hang out for a while…" she lowered her eyes in shame, "…I have to give you some space," she mumbled. I grinned inwardly; she talked too damn much.

In a blink of an eye, my lips were locked on her soft ones, and I was kissing the living daylights out of her. I poured all the love and passion I was feeling for her in this kiss.

She surely didn't expect this, I had caught her off guard, but as the kiss deepened, I could sense her fear melt and her enjoying the kiss to the maximum. One of her hands was grazing my back, while the other took hold of my hair, holding me close.

Finally, I broke our connection to catch our breaths, but I kept peppering her sweet face with feather kisses. Her eyes were shut, but she looked happy and content. I slowed down and, after giving her a last kiss on her forehead, stopped and stared down at her. She looked at me again, a small smile slowly appearing on her lips.

"You love me." It wasn't a question, but rather a statement.

"I love you," I grinned.

"I love you," she grinned back. "But," she wondered, "how is it possible? I am not worthy…" I never let her finish this sentence.

"Never say anything like this again! You are perfect for me! You are sweet, gentle, funny, kind-hearted, you are everything I am asking for. I don't care whether you can walk or not. It simply doesn't matter to me, it doesn't define who you are. You are the love of my life, the girl I have been waiting for so long. Do you understand me?" I finally asked. "Do you believe me?"

She remained silent, scrutinizing my face, measuring my sincerity. All of a sudden, she blushed.

"Forgive me for doubting you. I know you too well now to even think you could hurt me. It is just…so hard to believe it. You have to understand that all my life, I have been told that I was inadequate, unlovable, a burden; that I was no good, at all. I have always been alone and, strangely enough, I had accepted that fact.

"Then, Bella came along and became my friend, but it was hard to change the way I saw myself. I have found it difficult letting my protective walls down, to allow Bella and Edward to come closer, to believe I was worthy of their friendship. And, I can assure you that, even then, I never thought I would find love.

"You are different, though. I always thought that God hated me, and was punishing me for something, and I was so angry! I now believe that He had a greater plan, that we were meant to be together. You are my love, my soul mate, my missing piece.

"When I am close to you, I feel complete. You are my guiding light, my guardian angel. My life has been hard, but it led me to you and you are worth it." She pressed her lips over my heart. "Just promise me one thing..." she trailed off.

"Anything," I whispered through her hair.

"Never lie to me," she said hesitantly, "and always talk to me."

I nodded and kissed her again, chuckling at the end. She raised eyebrows questioning my outburst.

"Wait until everybody finds out we are a couple now. We will never live down to this."

"I don't care," she kissed the palm of my hand softly, "as long as I have you by my side." I couldn't agree more. She was my reason to be happy. Nothing could bring us down. We were invincible.

Little did we know that our happiness would be crashing down all around us…


	10. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**CHAPTER 8 – Crash and burn**

**2009**

**APOV**

A year had passed since Jasper and I had our heart-to-heart talk and realized how much we love each other. From that day, we had been practically inseparable. Besides classes or working on due papers, we spent every single minute together, either as a couple or with our family; Edward and Bella, along with Rosalie and Emmett. They were ecstatic when we announced our coupledom. Bella was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"It was about time! I was getting tired with you dancing around each other," she said hugging us both. "I am so happy for you. My brother and my best friend…" She leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "we truly are sisters now." I hugged her back fiercely.

I smiled at the memory and checked my watch again. It was Friday and Jasper was uncharacteristically late to pick me up. He was supposed to be here an hour ago, to spend the weekend together with my parents at Forks.

They insisted upon meeting the man who made me so happy, who was willing to give me the world. He had been thoughtful and insisted on meeting them before I even had the chance to ask. Always the proper gentleman, my Jasper…_Where is he_, I thought, _he is never late_.

I tried calling him again on his cell, but I was directed to his voicemail. Something was wrong, I could feel it. He was never late, never. And on the rare occasion that something would cause him to be late, he would always call to let me know.

Today, though, he was late and hadn't called. Where was he? I was really worried now, scared to death. My mind was trying to ease my fears; Jasper is always careful, everything is alright…But my heart knew best, deep down inside; something had happened. He was hurt…_Why hasn't he called? Because he can't_…

The phone ringing startled me and I picked it up immediately without checking the caller ID.

"Jasper, where are you? I was so worried. I…"

"Alice, it's Edward," and my words were stuck into my throat. I sensed by the tone of his voice that he was about to tell me something bad.

"Tell me he isn't hurt. I beg you…" I whispered, not realizing I was crying. "I knew it…He is never late…where…" I couldn't finish, I was choking. I couldn't breath properly, I was getting dizzy and was seconds before collapsing.

"Alice!" I could barely hear Edward over the sound of my frantic heart. "He is alive! Alive. Look," he paused, cursing loudly, "I am coming to take you to the hospital. He keeps asking for you. Bella is already on her way, along with Emmett and their parents."

"I will be waiting down at the entrance," I said and hang up. I was in a daze, feeling numb inside. Like a zombie, I got ready and was outside our building, waiting for my friend.

As if in cue, the familiar silver car came speeding through the parking lot and stopped right in front of me. I got in as fast as my new-found legs allowed me to and, after I had buckled up, Edward was speeding into the busy road towards the hospital.

I looked at him and what I saw on his face brought a new wave of tears. Edward was always so calm and collected, and seeing him so pale and distraught was unsettling.

My sobs disrupted his thoughts and he glanced at me, suddenly realizing what had set me off. He shook his head and pinched his nose, in an effort to calm himself. He reached out and squeezed my hands that rested limply on my lap.

"What happened?" I managed to croak after a long silence. His knuckles turned white from gripping the wheel too tight.

"Honestly, I don't know much. He was out on some errands before your weekend getaway. It happened on his way back home. Another driver tried to overtake him and lost control, slamming on Jasper's side, pushing him onto a tree."

My eyes were brimming with unshed tears from the horrific images passing through my head, and I shut them tightly to push the terror bubbling inside me away.

"People following behind witnessed the whole thing and called 911. They responded quickly and Carlisle was notified immediately. He and the rest of the family left immediately for the hospital and I came to pick you up, since I was close by."

I was speechless, completely stunned. My mind was working overtime but my thoughts were incoherent. I resurfaced from my haze for one more question.

"How bad is he? And don't try to sugarcoat this for me," I pleaded.

"It's bad enough, from what Bella has managed to tell me. He has a broken arm and leg, some bruised ribs. He also his head on the window, and the doctors are still assessing the seriousness of the hit but seem to believe it's probably just a concussion. His CT and EET were clear." A beep, indicating an incoming message, interrupted him. He opened his phone and read the message, his face suddenly pale. His eyes fell on me momentarily and I could clearly see fear and anxiety written all over his face.

"What is it, Edward? Was it Bella? I know it's something wrong, I saw it all over your face. Please, tell me," I said, on the verge of tears.

He was staring straight ahead, obviously debating whether to tell me the truth or not. Finally, he started talking.

"Jasper is good, but…there is something else, and I don't think you will like this…at all." He paused, stealing a glance at me before returning his eyes to the road. "The other driver….the man who hit Jasper…he…he died on impact…Well, this man, he was…James. James Hunter."

James Hunter? As in the man who had attacked me so long ago, who tried to…I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head violently, to push back the memory. Jasper had once told me what happened that night while

True to Edward's driving, after a few minutes, we were parked outside of the hospital. He helped me out of the car and kept by my side as I struggled to walk using my canes. I was so tense from anxiety that suddenly I was feeling drained and my legs swayed.

"Edward…" I croaked, clutching his arm to keep from falling down. He instantly put his arms around my waist and carried me to a nearby chair. I let my head fall back, the shock finally catching up with me, and I was sobbing and wailing inconsolably, while Edward was trying in vain to calm me down. All I could think of was that Jasper was in here injured and in terrible pain, and I was the one that put him here in the first place.

"It's my fault," I croaked, my tears flooding down my face, "it's my fault…"

I felt two strong hands on my shoulders, shaking me forcefully. "What the hell?" Edward asked me, his voice sounding harsher than intended. "How is any of this your fault? You weren't even there with him!" he exclaimed. I looked at him with unbelieving eyes. He is joking, right? Can't he see it? I found this strangely funny and was laughing hysterically for a few moments, until his astonished face sobered me up quickly.

"Hm, let's count, shall we?" I started raising my fingers one by one. "He was in a hurry…we were supposed to leave for the weekend and he was running late…James was after him because of me! If he hadn't met me, if he hadn't come to my rescue that night…he would have been at home, safe and sound…" I sniffled.

Edward's chuckle startled me. It was dry, dark, mirthless. "God…love surely makes us stupid." He looked at me with his piercing green eyes, as if he was trying to peek inside my mind.

"Look, Alice, you had _nothing_ to do with the accident. That damned James Hunter is to blame. In his deranged mind, he wanted to hurt you both and, in a way, he did. Don't you see? Jasper was on his way back from the university, regardless of your trip, and that bastard was probably following him around, waiting for his chance. I know you are scared and worried now, but I promise you, he will be fine.

"Ever since he met you, he is happier. Even as friends, he kept changing because of you. He isn't a loner anymore; he has come out of his shell and started living. And when, finally, you two fell in love, he is literally flying, he feels invincible. Your love is his lucky charm, keeping him safe."

I snorted at the absurdness of his last words. "Lucky charm my ass," I muttered, "I brought James in his life," but Edward silenced me once more.

"Yes, you are his lucky charm. If it weren't for you, he might have been killed. He might be injured now, but he is fighting to get well for you. And he would save you from him, even if he knew it would cost him his life! So get up and go to him. He needs you." He stood up and offered me his hand.

He was right. There was nothing I could do to change this from happening. It was mere chance that put me in James' path that night, it was chance that Jasper happened to pass by and be my savior. All that mattered now was that Jasper needed me. I had to stand by him, as he had done for me during the grueling surgery and rehabilitation.

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed Edward's hand to stand up.

"Take me to Jazz, please," I said and let him lead the way.

**JPOV**

I was in so much pain, it was pure hell. There wasn't a single part of my body not in pain. I groaned hearing a beeping sound near me. _What is this noise_, I wondered. Where am I?

I tried opening my mouth to speak, but even that simple movement hurt like a bitch. What had happened to me? And…_Alice, where is she? Is she ok?_

I was worried, making the beeping faster and louder, matching the beating of my frantic heart. I had to find Alice, I had to make sure she was fine.

"Alice," I whispered hoarsely, my throat raw and dry from the painkillers.

A small hand took hold of mine, squeezing it softly. "Jasper…" my angel said.

I turned my head towards her voice, and there she was, sitting right next to my bed. She looked so tired from lack of sleep and worry, but still beautiful.

"How are you feeling?" she asked. I shrugged nonchalantly.

"My body aches like someone beat me with a hammer. I have a splitting headache, my ribs ache even to breath, both my arm and my leg feel like lead." I stared at our clasped hands. "But it will get better, when you are by my side."

I closed my eyes again briefly and when I opened them, it was dark outside. Alice was still with me, on the same uncomfortable hospital chair, asleep. The door opened quietly and my father entered, carrying a small tray in his hands. He noticed the sleeping form of my love and approached me cautiously, trying not to wake her up.

"How are you, son? Too much pain?" he inquired while checking my vitals and taking notes on my chart. I nodded in silence.

"Time for your medications, then," he pulled down the bed covers and checked the bandaging. Satisfied with everything, he put the covers back up and stared at my face with a frown.

"What happened, dad? My memory is a bit fuzzy at the moment. I remember leaving campus and heading home. Alice and I were supposed to leave for the weekend and I was running late. Then…nothing."

My father pushed his fingers through his hair, a sign he was stressed.

"Well," he started, "I can only tell you what the police have told me. Apparently, you were speeding, and now I know why," he gave me a pointed look. "Another driver tried to pass you over, and he…somehow, he slammed his car on you, pushing you to a tree. He rolled over and was dead immediately. Thank God someone saw everything and called 911. They brought you here and the hospital called us."

He paused, his eyes averted from my face. Strange…was my father hiding something? "I was terrified when they told me about your…accident. Never do it again, son. You caused me to lose ten years of my life."

I listened to my father without a word, letting the details sink into me. I was carelessly speeding. If I wasn't, maybe I would have been able to avoid the other driver from hitting me. I had caused my family and me unnecessary pain, and it was my entire fault.

"How bad am I, dad? I want the truth!" I pleaded. He patted my hand in an effort to calm me.

"It's better than it seems, I swear. Your wearing the safety belt saved you from worse. You have broken your left arm and leg, you have some cracked ribs, a mild concussion. Also, you have some deep cuts and lacerations on your face and body from glass shards. There will probably be some scarring but we'll have to wait and see the exact damage."

I nodded at him and turned my attention to Alice, still sleeping beside my bed. I touched my face over the bandages, causing my father to scold me.

"Do not touch your face," he said. "Let your wounds heal. Depending on your progress, we will remove the stitches. I did them myself," he chuckled.

_Great_, I thought. _I am scar-face now_. I just prayed it wouldn't be too bad. My father squeezed my shoulder ending my self-pity trip.

"Get some rest, will you? Don't worry too much about your face. We will cross that bridge when we have to." And with these parting words he left.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the silence inside the room. I never liked the noise too much, and so did Alice. My sweet girl…she had stayed by my side all this time, her devotion to me was overwhelming. But I was worried; how had my accident affected us and our relationship?

"Tell me what you are thinking," my angel's sweet voice startled me. "I can't read your mind, but I can tell you are in pain."

God, I love her! She knew me too well. I contemplated lying to her, not wishing to worry her even more, but decided against it. We were always truthful to each other and I wasn't planning on changing that now.

"Carlisle was here when you were sleeping, and talked about the crash and the injuries." I paused, noticing Alice wince when I mentioned the crash. She looked...off. Or, more precisely, she looked guilty. But why? I dismissed it and continued.

"I am angry, to say the least. I am angry with the asshole that caused this whole mess. I am angry with myself for speeding. If I wasn't speeding, maybe I would have been able to react quicker and avoid him. I am angry because my face will probably be scarred for ever. I am angry because I am in pain and this is hurting you and my family immensely." I took some deep breaths to calm down, never releasing her hand. "I am sorry."

She stared at me incredulously, "why on earth are you apologizing to me? You did nothing wrong!"

"I beg to differ," I disagreed, "I should have been more careful. If I did, we would be enjoying our time together. I had big plans for this weekend." I grinned at her playfully.

"We have time. You must concentrate on getting well, and we can go away some other time. I love you, I am not leaving any time soon," she smiled back, then turned serious again, and a shadow covered her eyes.

"Pixie," I asked worried by the change in her demeanor. A serious Alice meant trouble, and I didn't like it at all. "What is it? Why the long face?"

"It's not your fault," she mumbled.

"I arched an eyebrow. "Enlighten me please. If it's not my fault, then whose it is?'

"Mine," she whispered, and raised her hand to stop my protests. "If we weren't supposed to leave for the weekend, you wouldn't be speeding to pick me up. Maybe you would have reacted differently to the situation," she was trying hard to hold back her tears. "And…there is something more…about the accident…that you should know…" she stuttered, her head lowered to stare to the ground.

"What about the accident? According to Carlisle, the man tried to pass me over, lost control of his vehicle and crashed at mine," I said puzzled. She looked at me with tears running down her face.

"The other driver…he was…he was….James. You know…." she choked back a sob, "the man who…attacked me….If you hadn't stopped him…he wouldn't have targeted you…" she raised her tear-stricken face at me, full of remorse and guilt, "it is my fault…mine…I am sorry…you are in pain because of me…"

I was speechless at first. Hunter, the man that haunted her dreams for a long time after the attack, had caused the crash deliberately? I suddenly remembered that night. When he realized I had the upper hand, and that he had to escape, he wasn't very pleased with me. He had threatened me, loud and clear, that I would pay for ruining his fun, to watch my back. Had he really been stalking me? How did he manage to remain unnoticed?

I turned my eyes towards the wonderful girl I loved, still sobbing her heart out. I had to make this right.

"Sweet pixie," I began, "you are being silly and you know it. I don't care if he hit me deliberately or not, I would save you from him over and over again. I only care about you. I love you and I will always protect you. You are my life now. Yes, the whole situation is fucked up, but you are worth it.

"Enough with the finger-pointing. Will you do me a favor?" She nodded eagerly. "I need something and you are the only one who can help me."

"Anything," she answered through her tears.

"Lay with me," I patted next to me, "push the rail down and come closer. I will pull you up."

She hesitated for a while and I pouted. She laughed and I was ecstatic. I had missed her laugh.

"Darn you and your pouting, I can't deny you anything," she muttered and slowly moved from the chair to my bed side. Putting my good arm around her waist, I dragged her onto the bed, by my side. She snuggled at me, trying not to cause me discomfort.

"I missed you," she whispered. "I can't sleep without you. When you leave this hospital, I will be staying at your house to take care of you."

"I'd like that," I grinned and kissed her feverishly. When we broke away to breath, she caressed my face carefully.

"Sleep, my love. We both need it."

_**Two months later…**_

**APOV**

Since the crash, my relationship with Jasper was deteriorating and I couldn't figure out the reasons why. I thought that, after our talk in the hospital, any underlying issues had been addressed and resolved before they would turn into trouble. Obviously and curiously, I was wrong.

Jasper was out of the hospital relatively soon, arm and leg in casts, stitches removed and, for the first time, I saw the damage on his face. Mainly, it was small cuts and welts that were almost healed.

But, on the left side of his face, there was the most serious of his injuries. It was a long gush, the flesh along side an angry pink. From what Carlisle had told me, he had a glass shard embedded deep into his face. Thankfully, it didn't damage any muscle, but gave him a nasty and prominent scar, marring his magnificent features.

Of course, nothing mattered to me, except the fact that he was alive and well, considering the severity of his injuries. I didn't mind, though, in fact, these scars brought out a darker, more dangerous edge on Jasper. He was handsome before, but now, to me at least, he appeared God-like. He was Ares himself, lethal and predatory. Nobody dared to mess with him and I was feeling safer than ever with him. People were intimidated by his new look and most of them kept their distance, sensing his foul mood.

The girls, though, were another matter completely. Like me, they swooned over his new look, and, to my dismay, started pursuing him with renewed fervor. They didn't care that he was always with me, _his girlfriend_. They kept making passes at him, and when he deflected their advances politely, they would aim their bitterness at me. It was high school all over for me again, except now it was more vicious. The spurned girls stopped at nothing, I was harassed constantly, especially when was alone.

Jasper was beyond pissed every time something like that happened, though I wasn't fazed at all. I knew from the beginning what being with a Cullen entailed. I was used to insult all my life, I had learned long ago not to let them get at me. As long as I had Jasper's love and devotion, I could stand anything. But he didn't seem to believe me, and he was becoming even more morose.

**JPOV**

The damned scar on my face made very self-conscious in the beginning. Although my family kept assuring me that it gave me a bad-boy look, I was not convinced. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't being shallow, at all. But I was a rather shy guy, and being the subject of the gossiping mill was hell on earth for me.

Everywhere I went, I got stares and whispers. Everybody around the campus knew the details of the crash and my injuries and was all too pleased to make petty comments, though not in my face. Apparently, I was dangerous now, and nobody said anything in my face, not since I beat someone stupid enough to do so.

The girls were…atrocious, to put it mildly. They were throwing themselves at me, even in front of Alice, the love of my life. I tried letting them down politely, but they wouldn't accept defeat graciously. They had to get back at me, and what better way to do so than insulting and belittling Alice. Not in front of me, of course; these girls weren't so brave to incur my wrath. But the few times Alice had been alone, they were ruthless.

Every time, my pixie would swear not taking their abuse at heart, as long as I loved her, but I couldn't help being pissed. I wanted to take matters into my own hands and treat those dim-witted girls ungentlemanly, but Alice implored me to do nothing.

"You are mine, and they are jealous. I don't care what they say. They can't touch me. I would go through fire and ice for you, don't; you know that?" she always told me, and I couldn't defy her.

Still, the whole situation had been nagging me. I loved Alice, more than my life, and she loved me the same way, too. But I couldn't help thinking that she was enduring too much because of me. Was I worth it? She had suffered so much in her life before me. She deserved to be happy. Was my love enough? I seriously doubted that. I was causing her too much pain, and it had to stop. I was not good for her.

I had to set her free. I knew what I had to do.

**APOV**

Besides Jasper's moodiness, I loved him so much that I wouldn't mind his strange behavior at first. But, with every passing day, it seemed the more I try to be close to him, the more he shied away from me. He was becoming more and more detached and cold, though still gentle and polite.

I tried talking to him, to find out what is troubling him, but he remained mum. I couldn't remember how many times we would get into a fight which ended with him leaving the room and me in tears of despair.

_I am losing him, I feel it._ How did we get to this point? Where had the love we shared gone? I still clung to hope that eventually everything would turn out ok, and _my_ Jasper would be back. I was being delusional. It was simply too good to be true, to have a good man like _him_ loving someone like _me_…

I sighed dejectedly as Bella drove us to her parents' house, where Jasper had been staying since he got out of the hospital. This had been a ritual by now; I would call to hear his voice, even distant and withdrawn, then Bella or Edward would drive me to the Cullens, me being their last hope to snap him out of his funk.

Bella helped me out of the car and into the house, where I was greeted by Esme, sadness written all over her kind face. It is killing her to see her son like this; cold, angry, lifeless. I knew him too well, I was just like that not so long ago. Before I meet Bella…before I learn what it means to be loved and accepted.

Yet, I took a leap of faith and allowed myself to get close to her and all the people I now considered my family and friends; Edward, Rosalie and Emmett, Carlisle and Esme…Jasper…

Just thinking of him opened the floodgates and I started crying silently. Still, Bella heard me and rushed to my side. She looked at me and sighed painfully.

"Oh, sister," she whispered hugging me tenderly, "it will be fine. We are all hurting. He is suffering but is too damn proud to admit it. He was always shy, and now he has everybody talking and gossiping about him. You see," she paused, "we are the Cullens; everything we say or do is under scrutiny. People love it when something bad befalls us; it makes them feel better. And this is their opportunity; a Cullen isn't perfect anymore." We both snorted at this. "And you being subjected to his fan-girls' hate isn't helping things up."

"Jasper is always handsome," I said sniffling. "I keep telling him so, but he doesn't believe me. I love him, I really do, even if he keeps pushing me away. It's tearing me up inside. Him, being so distant…so not Jasper…it's like a knife is pushed through my heart. I am at my wits end."

She nodded. "We all are, sweetie. Dad tried to convince him to see a therapist, but he flat out refused to even consider the idea, and cursed him. Edward tried to reason with him, to make him see his downward spiral to depression, how much we suffer for him, but he refused to listen. He even made Esme cry with his withdrawal." She paused for a while.

"You are his only hope. If you can't get through to him, no one can. I am so scared for him."

I wiped the tears away and made my way to his room slowly. Even after the surgery, my walking hadn't improved much, it's just less painful, but still slow and tiring. I gathered all my courage I could muster and knocked on his door.

He didn't answer immediately. I knocked again, calling him.

"Jasper, it's me. Can I come in?"

**JPOV**

_She is here!_ My mind screamed at me. _You know what has to be done._

I clenched my fists at my sides, trying to hold back the pain caused by the cruelty I was about to throw at Alice. My heart was breaking, again and again, bleeding silently inside me, begging me not to do it.

_You love her, don't do this…_

I shook my head, and moved to the door, feeling cold. I was engulfed in the darkness, barely visible to the rest of the world, like a monster lurking for his prey. I chuckled bitterly. _I really am a monster, a bastard, for intending to hurt my girl like that._

_It's for her own good. I just want to save her from all the hurt and regret…_The door opened hesitantly and I put on my mask.

_Time for the show…_

**APOV**

I heard his footsteps approaching and the door opened in half, his face barely visible in the darkened room. His eyes appraised me and then rested on my face. I stared back lovingly. God, I miss him. He was hesitant, torn, haunted. He slowly raised his hand, as if to touch my cheek, but just inches away from my face, his daze was broken and he pulled back quickly.

I winced involuntary and it showed on my face. Whether he noticed or not, I couldn't tell. He, once again, was wearing his mask of indifference. Like I was nobody…like I meant nothing to him. As if our love never existed other than my imagination.

My already waning strength was nearly exhausted and I gripped on the on the doorframe to hold myself. Concern flooded momentarily his face and, scooping me in his arms, carried me onto his bed.

"I got you," he muttered and laid me down carefully. He was simple and thorough, as always, and for a moment, the old Jasper, the man who loved me and ruled my heart and soul, was back. His fingers grazed my face for a while, and I closed my eyes reveling at the sensations coursing through my body.

Suddenly, I was alone and cold on his bed. I opened my eyes and he was nowhere to be found.

"Jasper? Jasper?" I searched frantically for him.

"Rest, Alice," his velvet voice came out from the furthest part of the room, engulfed in darkness. There he was, standing tall and rigid, a true angel of destruction. I trained my gaze on him and stretched my hand, reaching out at him.

"Please…come to me…I need you…" I begged him, my eyes burning from the tears building up, but he didn't cave. He just stood there in the shadows, hidden, still and pale like a statue.

"Don't shut me out," I was choked by the piercing pain shooting through my heart, and was having trouble breathing. _This isn't real_, I thought shivering on his bed. _He loves me…doesn't he_? If he loved me like he always claimed to, he wouldn't push me away, would he?

"Alice…I can't…I don't want…" he struggled with his words, "…you…any more."

My body went limp, as the meaning of what he had just said started sinking into my dormant brain. The tears I tried to hold back for so long were let loose and run down my face. I peeked at him, still so far away from me, only his eyes shining from an inexplicable emotion.

Of course, I said to myself. Now everything makes sense. He doesn't love me anymore. After all, it's my fault he was injured in the first place. He was rushing to meet me. If I wasn't still dependent on him…if I was able to drive myself…if I was a whole person, capable of defending myself…then nothing would have happened.

My hand was clutched over my chest, in a futile effort to keep myself from shuttering to million pieces. I had done this to him, caused his suffering.

_James wouldn't have tried to kill him as payback to Jasper for saving me. _

Because of me…stupid, crippled me…a good man like Jasper was disfigured and subjected to slander, as if my being his girlfriend wasn't enough for him to be dragged into the gossiping mill.

The whole idea of us dating was unbelievable from the start, _who am I kidding_? I am not good enough for him, I will never be. Even after the damn surgery, I haven't been much better. I may have been freed from my wheelchair, but I am still not normal, using canes to move around at snail's pace.

The crash finally brought him to his senses. He doesn't want me, I have only brought pain and problems in his life. I jinxed everything and everybody I knew.

I sat up and let my feet touch the floor. My eyes searched yet again for him, for the last time, my mind already made up. He had come closer now, his tall, muscled frame illuminated by the twilight, the scar dominating his face. Still, he was the most beautiful man on earth for me. I drank that picture of him in, memorizing his features. And then, I averted my eyes off him.

_I have no right to look at him, not anymore._

"Forgive me," I whispered and slowly stood up, my hand on the wall to keep me steady. I stared at the door, trying to guess how long it would take me to leave. _Too far_, I cursed, _too damn far. It will take me forever to escape._ Nevertheless, I kept going. _I have to leave. _

"Alice, I…" his voice echoed in the silence. I shook my head furiously to stop him, not wishing to hear his dismissal.

"Don't say anything, please. It's okay, I understand completely. I can't tell you how sorry I am for everything. I am sorry I loved you, because my love caused you pain. I am sorry I ever came into your life, disrupting it and embarrassing you. Hell, I am even sorry for allowing myself to become Bella's friend, bringing trouble upon you."

I laughed mirthlessly. "I have only bestowed bad luck to you, you are way better without me. You are the Cullens, a family envied and admired by all. But, because of me, you are the talk of the town.

"I am no good for you, I always knew it, but I let myself live the dream. I should have known that happiness and I do not mix." I kept walking to the door, step by step, inch by inch. I was torturing myself and him, but there was nothing I could do.

Finally, I reached the door and, without turning around, I addressed him for the last time.

"I promise you this is the last time you ever had to see or hear me. Again, I ask for your forgiveness, for all the wrongs I have done to you. Please, go on with your life, try to get well. You deserve so much more. And…forget all about me. Forget my face, my name, forget I even exist." My hand grabbed the doorknob with all the strength I had left.

"Goodbye," I said through my tears and closed the door slowly behind me. "I love you…" The clicking sound seemed like thunder to my ears. _It is over_, I thought and leaned against the wall. _It's over….I have lost him forever_. I had to leave; I had to get out of here, as far as I could.

"Alice?" Bella's worried face was suddenly in front of me.

"Take me home. I am dead tired."

"But what…?" she tried to ask, but I stopped her. "Not now, I beg you."

She nodded reluctantly and led me to the garage, into her car. We silently started the difficult journey home, since she had guessed that things didn't go well with Jasper, and I didn't have the courage to talk about it. My mind was fogged, everything that had transpired in _his_ room kept rolling around in my mind.

_"Alice…I can't…I don't want…you…any more."_

His pained voice kept repeating those few words, over and over again, each time cutting me open a bit more. He didn't want me, he didn't need me, I had hurt him so much. I had done the right thing, taking myself out of the equation.

I sobbed for a few minutes but composed myself quickly, and glanced at Bella. I suddenly realized that I couldn't stay with Edward and her, not now that I was out of her brother's life. I wouldn't put her in the middle between him and me. I couldn't impose on them.

So, as soon as we were inside the apartment, I excused myself in my room and locked the door. Putting my clothes and stuff into my suitcases, I dialed Jessica's number. She answered after three rings.

"Hi, Jess, this is Alice," I said and she was surprised to hear me. "Yeah, sorry to bother you, but I am looking for a new place to live. Do you know if there is anything available? What? You live in your room alone? Well, I guess then you have got yourself a new roommate."

I promised to call her later with the specifics of the move and hang up. By now, most of my things were packed and, as soon as I could find some help, I would be out of their lives for good.

_This is what I want, isn't it? It is for the best_, I said to myself.

Then, why did I feel so dead inside?


	11. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**CHAPTER 9 – Apart**

**BPOV**

I thanked the Gods above that another hectic day had come to an end I would soon be home, taking a long, anticipated, relaxing bath. I was so tired, not only physically, but emotionally too. Ever since Jasper's crash, life had been a downward spiral to hell.

He was pushing everybody away stubbornly, hurting us immensely. I knew he was extremely lucky to come out of this ordeal with only that cursed scar on his face. But it bothered him so much, he was obsessed. He had become so self-conscious that I couldn't believe it myself.

_I mean, he is Jasper Cullen; being a Cullen means people will always be taking about you or trying to bring you down_. Why did he care so much about what other people said? And it wasn't a problem that couldn't be dealt with. Dad had assured him it could be surgically fixed soon, but Jasper refused to listen.

"I am not concerned about my looks," he once told me when I cornered him. "I will keep this scar as a reminder of my stupidity. I should have been more careful. I always drive recklessly. If Alice had been with me…she would be dead," was all he said, and retreated to his room, as usual.

To top it all, he managed to break Alice. Her pale face when she came out of his room two days ago will haunt me for forever. She never told me what happened that night, just kept everything inside her. But I could really her heart break over and over again, as we were driving away from my parents' house. The bond between them was so strong that unconsciously pulled them close. They could never stand being apart for more than a few hours, and being separated for so long was devastating them both.

She had locked herself into her room since we got home, and I never heard back from her again, except when I would call for her outside her door. She had declined any offers for food or company, blaming piled-up class work and fatigue. But I could hear her crying softly and calling my brother's name in her sleep, begging him to come. He could be so stubborn and stupid some times.

I sighed, thinking about my best friend and my brother, as I unlocked the door of our apartment. _Hm, it seems I am the first one back from class_. Usually Alice would be her before me. Probably she stayed to talk with Professor Jensen, since Jasper's hospital stay had caused her to lose a few assignments.

I put my keys at the coffee table and, taking my shoes off, walked into the apartment thinking about dinner. _Maybe we should order some take-out_, I thought, since one look inside our fridge had told me we needed to go food-shopping.

_I should call her and see what time she would be back._ I dialed her number, but went straight to voicemail. _Probably still with her professor._

Absentmindedly, I walked through the parlor, where Edward's piano stood majestically, to go out at the veranda for some air and relaxation. I tried Alice's phone again; still nothing. A strange sense of foreboding washed over me, like something was wrong, but couldn't pinpoint it.

I looked around, scanning the room thoroughly. It seemed the same, and yet, it felt different. _What is it_, I wondered.

My eyes finally fell on the dining table, on top of which were a pretty vase and some framed photographs, courtesy of Alice, stood proudly. Except now a few photos were missing. I checked the room again and realized that everything that was Alice-related was gone; photos, her glass figurines from inside the glass cabinet dominating one side of the room, and all her personal purchases.

But why? There was only one possible reason and I was really scared to even consider it was the truth.

I ran to her room and burst through the door, my heart breaking as I took in the view in front of me. The room was bare of her belongings; her laptop, her books, her alarm, gone. I slowly opened her closet and, surely enough, it was empty.

I turned around tiredly, as the reality started sinking in. Alice, my best friend, my sister, was gone. I knew the demise of her relationship with Jasper was torturing her, but I never thought she would give up on him. It was so not…Alice-like.

I called her once more, but was directed to her voicemail.

"Oh, Alice…silly girl…" I whispered, feeling moisture gathering under my eyelids. "What were you thinking?"

I rubbed my face furiously thinking what I should do, when I saw something white lying on her bed. It was an envelope with my name on it, in Alice's familiar hand-writing. I gingerly picked it up and opened it, to find a letter for me.

_"Dear Bella,_

_my best friend and sister. If you are reading this, then I have already left your house for good. I know it might seem cowardly to leave this way, but I just didn't have the strength to face you or Edward, not after the kindness and love you two have shown me._

_I never really understood why you decided to talk to me that day, when you held that door open for me. No one else had bothered to do so. But I am grateful that you did. You have helped me a lot. You pulled me out of my shell and, for once, I felt alive, normal. I wasn't the crippled girl with you, I was just Alice, for the first time in my life._

_You showed me what it means to be loved by someone, besides my parents. You were so kind to introduce me to your friends, who in turn became my friends, too. You took me to your house, to your parents, to your family. _

_And, on top of it all, you introduced me to an angel. An angel who, even for a short time, loved me and made me whole. _

_For all these things, I am now forever in your debt._

_But all good things have to end, especially for me. I got a taste of heaven and happiness, only to have them ripped from my grasp. I never expected it to last, luck was never on my side. The only thing I have done in my life is to cause pain and heartache to the people around me._

_Jasper's accident was the final straw to my ignorance. I have hurt him and your family by being near you. This is something I will never forgive myself for._

_I decided to stop being selfish. By now, I have moved out of the apartment, taking everything that might remind you of me or my presence in your lives. It will be as if I never existed._

_I will never bother you again. I will hurt you no more._

_I am sorry… _

_Alice."_

I stared at the paper in my hands, still not fully comprehending its content. My legs gave way and I fell backwards, bumping on the wall. I slowly slid down and found myself sitting on the floor, my back on the closet door, my face wet from tears I couldn't remember falling.

I calmed a bit after a few moments, and read the letter again, absorbing each word eagerly. By the end, I was crying my eyes out, shaking from sadness and anger. My heart was aching from Alice's sacrifice and heartbreak, while my mind was angry as hell at both Alice and Jasper.

Why did she think that leaving was the solution? Why didn't she stay to fight for him? And why on earth was she responsible for the crash? It wasn't even my brother's fault; the other driver caused it, despite Jasper's effort to avoid him. After all, that man was deranged. Jasper rescued Alice from him and James wanted revenge. Jasper knew it was a possibility that James would go after him, he had threatened my brother that night, before he escaped. But I knew my brother; even if he had a choice, he would always do the same and save her.

And Jasper…don't let me start on him and his idiocy. I couldn't believe that he allowed a few immature and cruel people to put a distance between him and his loved ones. Our family was always looked upon and envied for our looks and money.

Jasper had legions of girls swooning and following him around, but he never gave them a second glance. They weren't what he had been looking for. And the guys hated his guts for drawing all the attention to himself, even unwillingly, but he was never bothered. He was only minding his studies, his work and his family.

The crash and its consequences were the perfect chance for all those people to have their revenge. Merely by existing, Jasper was the enemy and they took great pleasure to strike him while at his lowest. He was a strong man, but he was only human, after all, with doubts and insecurities. It was only too much a person can take of malice and pettiness.

Carlisle assured him all too many times that, when the time was right and his wounds had fully healed, he could have his scars removed, and save himself all this pain and regret. He only had to be patient and everything would be okay.

_I guess he couldn't take it anymore and tried to save himself the only way he could think of; by locking himself away from everybody, not considering the repercussions of his actions._

"Baby, I'm home," Edward's voice echoed inside the house. "Where are you?"

"In Alice's room," I answered weakly, but he heard me. Soon he was standing at the door. I didn't look at him, I didn't say a word. I just sat there, staring at the wall, Alice's letter still in my hand. _I won't cry any more, I can't. I have no more tears left. _

"Sweetheart? What are you doing here?" he asked. "What is going on? Where is Alice?" he went on, noticing the nakedness of the room.

I remained silent. I didn't have the courage to tell him the truth. _I won't cry, I must be strong._ He cared for Alice like a sister, and he would be hurt by her leaving. Still, he kneeled beside me and took me in his arms. It was at this precise moment where my resolve cracked and the dam holding back my sorrow broke down completely.

I cried loudly in his arms for everything; my brother, my best friend, my love, my family and friends. So many people were suffering due to a stranger's distorted mind.

I cried for a long time, soaking his shirt, Jasper's and Alice's names escaping my lips between sobs, until I ran dry and my throat was raw. Edward was still holding me tight, rubbing my back and arms soothingly. He kissed my forehead softly, and I raised my head to face him, only to be startled by his expression.

_I never thought I would see Edward in so much pain._ He looked as if he had lost a family member. And, in a sense, he _had_.

"My love…what happened here? I can't bear to see you in so much pain…It's tearing my heart…" he whispered. "Did you two have a fight?" he asked, glancing around the room.

I shook my head and passed him the crumbled letter. He took it and, with me tucked under his arm, started reading it. I waited for him to finish it all, my eyes never leaving his face. I could see clearly all the emotions I had felt, too, when I read it earlier; even a lone tear trickled down his cheek.

He cocked his face towards me and crashed his lips on mine. I let myself get lost in this kiss, full of love and sorrow. _God, I love him so much_. What would I do without him? _He is my rock, my life, my everything._ I was clinging on him like I was drowning and he was my lifesaver. With him by my side, my pain was more bearable. His low voice broke the silence inside the lonely room.

"Don't be mad at her. She is in so much pain, and overwhelmed by the guilt for her wrongly-assumed faults. She did what she thought was best for all of us. You know how little she thinks of herself and her wants."

I closed my eyes and let myself relax a bit more into his arms, while thinking of my response. "If my brother wasn't such an ass to everybody, none of this would have happened. I know that, after the crash, the girls were even more attracted to him, and jealous of his relationship to Alice. They thought that, by belittling and insulting her, he would see she was no good for him. Alice was tough and could care less, as long as she was with him.

"But my stupid overprotective brother couldn't stand seeing Alice subjected to their venom, and this was his brilliant idea to solve it; push Alice away, make her hate him so that she would move on."

"Jasper was always like that," Edward said, "he is your brother, for God's sake! He can be stubborn as a mule, and he hated being looked after by us." I tried to deny this, but he wouldn't have any of it.

"No, I am right and you know it. Hell, if I was in his shoes, I would probably have done the same thing! Now," he was thoughtful, "we can talk forever about the what-if's on the matter, but I believe we must concentrate on what can be done to rectify this.

"He loves Alice, he needs her, and vice versa. What can we do to make them both see their mistakes?"

I couldn't agree more. But what should we do? My eyes fell on the letter again, and it hit me. I tagged at my lover's shirt and he looked at me puzzled.

"Get up, honey," I told him, standing up. "I have to talk to Jasper. This is something I should have done a long time ago."

**JPOV**

I was furiously clicking the laptop keys, writing on one of my class projects. It was one of the few moments in my life that I could forget a bit about the hell I was living in since the crash. I never knew that people could be so mean to one another.

Of course, I never minded anything those imbeciles would say about me. But when they started picking on my Alice, it was then when I decided to save her from all this torture and let her be safe. She had suffered enough through her life due to her disability, she didn't need to face my mayhem, too.

Nevertheless, while it had been my decision to break things up with her, it still hurt like a bitch. I was calmed by the thought that she at least had the support of my family and friends to move on. I knew Bella and Edward would take good care of her. _Not me…_

The sound of my door bursting open jerked me out of my trance and I turned around to face the intruder, angry for the disruption.

"Bella?" I blinked at my livid-looking sister. _What is her problem_, I wondered. She was furious, it was obvious. What did she want now? I cowardly tuned my attention to my laptop, trying to figure out how to proceed on my work, ignoring her presence near me.

I was interrupted by a piece of folded paper thrown at my face.

"Happy now?" my sister sounded strange, broken, "you are so absorbed in your shit that you don't care about anybody else now. You pushed your family away and you managed to break the one person that made you happy. I hope you enjoy loneliness," she glared at me. "You've got what you wanted."

I picked the paper up cautiously, like it could set me on fire, and stared at it clueless. She sighed.

"_She_ is…gone. Moved out of the house and out of our lives…_for good_," Bella answered my unspoken question, disappointment dripping from her voice, and strutted out of the room.

Frozen on the spot, I looked again at the letter in my hand. She left…_This is not what I wanted for her._ I just wanted _me_ out of her life…Not her being all alone. I could never be with her; I had caused her so much pain…

I slowly unfolded the paper and Alice's neat handwriting danced in front of me. _Dear Bella, _it started out, and I was absorbed in it immediately. Every word, every bit of this letter was a stab in my heart. I couldn't believe her. My sweet selfish girl…Always blaming herself for everything.

I finished reading quickly enough, and by now I was bawling my eyes out. It wasn't very manly of me to cry like a baby, but I couldn't help it. Suddenly, I was being hit by everything I had said and done since the accident, and I was ashamed of myself. I never cared about appearances and looks, but my actions and attitude gave out the wrong impression.

When did I start caring about other people's opinions? My family and friends, the important people in my life, accepted me for who I am as a person, not my looks. When did I allow their hate get at me and dictate my behavior?

And my Alice…she simply adored me as I worshipped her. I had never felt happier than I had felt with her. How could I get so disillusioned to even think my looks mattered to her? And she was brave, defying cruelty all her life. She had assured me time and time again that my love gave her the strength to endure everything, even the fires of hell.

"These girls can bite all they want; they are just jealous of us and our love. They wish to be in my place, and will try anything to break us apart. But our love is my biggest power. I can take anything as long as you love me," she had told me, with a shy smile.

This was Alice, the most caring person in the whole wide world besides my family. When I was with her, I felt like the damned accident had never happened. Why on earth I didn't believe my own father when he had told me that those damned scars could be removed, and I would be good as new? Why, in my time of need, did I put up walls of pride and kept everybody I loved away from me?

"Oh, my God…" I screamed, crying harder now. "I have been so stupid." I had to find her, to talk to her. I needed to crawl in front of her, beg on my knees for her forgiveness. I was the one to blame for hurting everyone.

I pulled my cell out and called her, my hands trembling from anticipation. It rang four times before it was directed to voicemail. I tried again, still the same. She was obviously screening her calls. _What did you expect,_ my mind sneered at me. I shut my phone and leaned forward, my head resting on my hands. _I have destroyed us…me and my stupid pride…_I shoved a hand into my mouth, to muffle the frustrated roar that had built inside my chest.

I was so mad I wanted to murder someone. Just because some psycho decided to come after me, innocent people had to pay. I let my life become a mess and there was no easy way out of it. My parents and my sister, my friends, they all might forgive me.

But not Alice; I had hurt her beyond forgiveness. I knew how much she loved me, yet I cruelly let her believe I didn't care for her anymore. I had really crushed her spirit and I would never be able to atone myself for my sins. Unless…

I stood up abruptly and run down the stairs, screaming Bella's name. Strangely enough, she took pity on me and called out for me.

"In the library, Jazz!"

I entered the room and stopped, finding all the peopled that matter, except one, there. I looked each and every one of them, and they all wore the same desolate expression. Disappointment and…hope? I immediately understood.

"I guess you all know what happened," I said somberly. They nodded, still staring at me. After a while, it became too much and I started squirming.

"Please, stop it! Yell, scream, curse at me! I deserve it! Just, stop with the stink-eye!" I pleaded.

"You value yourself too highly, my _friend_," Rosalie sneered. I was taken aback with her animosity.

"What the hell, Rose? I know I screwed up! I may be too late, but I have finally come to my senses. I am so sorry for treating you all so badly for so long. You raised me better," I said addressing my parents. "But somehow, I let my fears and my twisted sense of protectiveness rule me and I forgot everything you have taught me is important in life.

"I have allowed meaningless people define me. They managed to get at me and, by association, Alice. I stupidly believed that, by distancing myself from her, she wouldn't suffer from their abuse. She deserves to be happy."

"But, don't you see?" Rose yelled at me, "y_ou_ are her happiness! _You_ are her strength. As long as you stand by her side, and you love her, _she fears nothing_! She was willing to go through fire and ice for you!" She was so angry, her body stance in full strike mode. Thank God Emmett was there to hold her back.

"Baby, stop…Enough! He has wronged everybody, he knows it and he is truly sorry," he gestured at my defeated form. "We can yell all we want at him later, after this whole thing is over and done with. Now he needs to talk to her and explain everything. He has an eternity to earn her forgiveness," he said pointedly.

"First, he has to get her to talk to him. She has made it clear in her letter that she will avoid us at all costs," my sister sniffled. Edward patted her hand in encouragement, and turned his gaze at me. He had remained silent until now.

"We all have to keep trying to get her to listen. Never give up. She will cave in, eventually. She loves you and misses us too much. She is only doing this to protect you from her bad luck." He paused and his face darkened before he continued. "I want my sister back. Do what you must."

We all nodded in agreement. "Operation Alice" was on.

_**Three weeks later…**_

**APOV**

Miserable…Unhappy…Alone…Three words that described my life best ever since I had cut myself out of the Cullens' lives. I stuck with my decision and avoided any contact with them at all costs. Of course, it was easier said than done since our paths seemed to collide all the time.

Ever since I moved out, each one of them had tried separately to talk to me, but I had refused to even acknowledge them, lest I would cave in.

A few times, I was lucky enough to see him again. _My Jasper_…N_o_, I scolded myself, _he isn't mine anymore_. He didn't want me; too many bad memories were attached to me. Though I did caught him staring intently at me, his baby blue eyes burning me inside out, and my heart missed a beat, as I was lost into him.

Then, I remembered the image of a banged up Jasper in a hospital room, or the reclusive Jasper I saw that last night in his room, and the spell was broken. I averted my stare away from him and walked away, unable to hold back my tears. My heart was shuttering at every encounter, as I was reminded of what I had and lost.

_Stop feeling sorry for yourself, it was your fault,_ my mind kept reminding me. I wasn't supposed to be happy or loved, and by tasting this side of life, I brought my bad luck to everybody. _It is for the best_, I assured myself. _He is better off. Soon I will be forgotten and he will find happiness with someone else, someone who will be worthy of him_.

_Yeah, keep telling that and I might believe it_, I thought bitterly. Who was I kidding? I loved him, he was my life, my reason to live. How could I go on without my heart? How could I exist without my soul?

**JPOV**

I was dead…numb…lost. I missed her, I craved for her, I needed her like the air that I breathed. She was my life force and, without her, I was fighting just to go through another day.

I kept myself busy, attending classes and working on my projects, hoping that I might bump on Alice around campus. Not much luck. I only saw her a few times from afar, and every time, I froze like my feet were glued to the ground. I wanted so much to go to her, to talk to her, to hold her in my arms again, but I couldn't. I could only stare at her, storing her image in my mind for keeps.

She was always alone, sad, forlorn. She kept to herself, drowning in her class work. Her face was even paler, her eyes were dim, her spark was gone and she was never smiling; this wasn't the Alice I had come to know and love, and this was cutting me to the core.

I had done this to Alice, I was the bastard. How could I ever think that staying away was best for her or for me? How could I explain my reasoning to her and expect her to forgive me? She was avoiding me like the plague, as if her life depended on it. It hurt, and it hurt me bad.

_I had lost my girl…my love…and I was the only one to blame…_

**BPOV **

"Ok, this is beyond ridiculous! They love each other, and they suffer by being separated. Their selfishness and pride keep them apart. At least Jasper has realized his mistakes and is dying just to ask for her forgiveness. But she is too damn stubborn and feeling guilty to talk to him, even to tell him off! We have to do something. I can't just stand by and let them suffer," Rosalie was ranting at me, while I listened patiently.

"I agree," I said, "but how?"

Rosalie remained silent for some time, lost in her thoughts. "Alice is now staying at her old room with Jessica," she shuddered, thinking of the stupid Stanley girl, "who told me Alice is miserable. She is barely functioning, keeping herself buried under her work. Jessica even told me that she has often heard Alice cry in her sleep, calling _his_ name. Bella, this is so wrong!"

"Jasper is no better. He tries keeping up the façade of the strong man. But sometimes, I can hear him too, calling out her name at night, begging her to come back. It's breaking my heart to listen to his pain, Rose," I added in a low voice.

"We have to make her stop and listen. She keeps her distance from all of us, she doesn't want to make us choose between Jasper and her." Silly, selfless girl…didn't she realize how much we care for her? That she is family, too?

Rosalie nodded in agreement. "The problem is how to achieve this. We can't confront at the campus area, she would feel embarrassed. Maybe we should go to her dorm room, when she will be alone…" she trailed off, a light bulb of inspiration going off in her head.

"I've got a better idea! We should go at her room, in the pretense to take her out for a coffee, and then we sweep her to your parents' house. Just make sure he won't be there, so that she won't feel uncomfortable. And I hope the surrounding scenery will help her relax and be more accepting of our talk."

"Yes, this might just work," I grinned enthusiastically. "It's the only way. She might hate us for a while, but she will be thanking us in the end."

Rosalie smiled back, checking her watch. "We have to go to class. Call me when the meeting is set. Bye." She left quickly and I followed her example. As I entered the hall, my eyes fell on Alice, sitting in her usual spot. She was staring at me, too, and I could see her clearly.

She was…empty, drained of life. She was there but she wasn't. She was sitting in the middle of a whole class, full of people, but she looked isolated, left out.

_Oh, Alice, _I pleaded internally_, let me come. Talk to me…_

As if she had heard my unspoken plea, she closed her eyes and, shaking her head, turned her face to her desktop. I started walking towards my seat, which meant I had to pass by her side on my way up. When I was next to her, she whispered something, only for me to hear.

"It's better this way."

I stopped dead in my tracks. Her head was still hanging low, but her cheeks were glistening with tears. Putting my hand on her shoulder, I lowered myself to her eye-level.

"You are wrong," I whispered back, making her flinch. "We are all miserable and unhappy since you left, especially Jasper."

Her hands immediately flew to cover her ears.

"Please…" she begged and I knew what she wanted. Even hearing his name caused her protective walls to sway and come crashing down. I pried her hands away and took my chance.

"We _must _talk…_sister_."

A fresh wave of tears and a small nod was my answer. At last.


	12. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**Chapter 10 – Truth come out**

**APOV**

True to her word, Bella, along with Rosalie, came to my dorm room in the evening. Unfortunately, Jessica was in and stared at the girls questioningly. I groaned.

I had been vague about the reasons I had moved out of Bella's apartment, simply saying that our interests weren't compatible any more. But she was a clever girl and already knew that I didn't have any friends now, spending all my time in class or studying. Seeing Bella and Rosalie here, in our room, had her curiosity peaked.

_I was in for the Spanish Inquisition later._

I glanced at my old friends, who were staring back at me expectantly. I nodded infinitesimally towards Jessica's lingering form, hoping they would catch my desperate plea to get out of here.

"Hey, Bella..Rose…It's been ages we have gone out for coffee, and now I am in dire need for my daily dose of caffeine. How about we go out and grab some?" I said anxiously. They caught it instantly and played along.

"Sure," Rosalie replied, "I know a nice new coffee shop a little bit out of the campus. Shall we go?"

I nodded in agreement and, after grabbing my purse and my canes, I said goodbye to my roommate and followed them slowly towards Rose's car. They silently helped me get inside and sped off the campus.

None of us said a thing, probably using the time until we would arrive at the shop to put our thoughts in order. I laid back to relax a bit, and let myself get lost in the changing scenery, finally succumbing to sleep.

I was jolted awake by a soft hand and I found myself facing Bella's kind face.

"We are here, Ali. Let me help you out of the car," she said. I blinked my eyes, trying to push the sleep away from my still heavy eyelids. _Man, I haven't slept this good since…well, forever_. I nodded and soon I was out of the car and standing in front of a familiar building, one that I had vowed never to come back.

I turned to them, feeling angry and betrayed.

"Why am I here? I can't be here, I just...it's not for me. How can you be so cruel? Why did you have to torture me this way? Haven't I been through enough?" I yelled, bursting in tears.

They both tried to calm me down, but I shied away from their touch, falling to the ground. "I want to leave. It was wrong to agree to this. I never expected to be deceived by the people I once considered sisters," I kept muttering through my sobs. "I can't bear being near…It hurts too much," I choked before I could finish. I was in acute pain, feeling like my chest was slashed open and my heart was left exposed to all evil.

Suddenly, I found myself engulfed by two pairs of arms. I tried shaking them off, but they wouldn't let go, and I was too damn tired, so I just stopped fighting. I was destroyed, broken beyond repair; what more could happen to me? I allowed them to hold me, too lost in my pain and grief to care, when Bella said one simple thing.

"He is not here."

I shuddered involuntary and raised my red puffy eyes at her. She sighed with so much sadness written on her face.

"We never meant to deceive you or cause you any more pain. But we do need to talk, and we thought here would be better than a noisy coffee shop. My room is quiet and comfortable, and our conversation won't be disrupted.

"I know that your last memories form my house have haunted you for so long, but…you also have many good memories. It is your house, too, remember? We are sisters." She looked at me pleadingly. "Let's talk, please?"

I kept staring at her while she was speaking, studying her face. She was Bella, my best friend, a girl who had never lied to me, her sincerity one of the qualities I always admired in her. She wouldn't lie to me now, would she? She really meant everything she had told me. This whole thing was hurting not just Jasper or me; it was causing pain to others, too.

I squeezed her hand a bit and gave her a weak smile. I wanted to hear them, I wanted to know what they had to say. Maybe they would help me get the closure I so badly needed.

Rosalie helped me stand up and ushered me to the elevator up and into Bella's room. I sat on her bed, while they plopped on the love seat next to it. It was going to be a long talk.

We stared at each other for a few minutes, trying to figure out how to proceed. Rosalie was the one to break the awkward silence.

"Oh hell, this is bullshit," she rolled her eyes. "Alice, sweetie," she went on, in a kinder tone, "you know why we are here, right?"

I nodded.

"This…thing between us has gone by for too long, and it has to stop. It has done no good to any of us. We are all in pain. Both _he_ and _you_ have allowed your pride and self-sacrifice to break you; you who were inseparable.

"Yes, the damn accident was a shitty situation to fall on you, but you took it too far. I know he was injured, I know he has those scars as a constant reminder, but you have to remember; it was nobody's fault!

"It wasn't Jasper's fault; he is always careful, even when speeding. It wasn't your fault; James Hunter caused the crash, not you. Do you understand me?" she finally asked me.

I understood what she was telling me, and I wanted to believe her, I did. But I couldn't take my mind of the fact that James went after Jasper deliberately, and it was all because of me. Rosalie felt my hesitation to accept what she had just told me.

"Don't start with the whole _James-hurt-Jasper-because-of-me_ crap, I won't accept it! Jasper did what every decent man would have done in a situation like this. James was a dangerous crazy mother-fucker who, unfortunately, set his eyes on you. And because Jasper ruined his plans, he wanted revenge.

"Just know one thing; he was after you both. His buddy, Laurent, spilled the beans on him. He had called James for help after the arrest, but got bitch-slapped instead for getting beaten down. James had vowed to get you both because _"he wanted his fun"._ He was following you around, waiting for the opportunity to strike. He thought you were in the car, too."

Bella took over. "Jasper never regretted saving you that night. He said it was one of the noblest acts of his life, and he would do it again a thousand times over. He is raised that way; help the weak, protect the innocent. The Cullen men pride themselves to be gentlemen, and no gentleman would allow a woman to be harmed in any way.

"And after he got to know you better and fell in love with you, he was even more resolved to protect you, no matter what. _"I don't care about me, I can take care of myself. I want Alice to be safe. I would die for her"_ were his exact words. He was scared for you, afraid that James might get to you, despite all the precautions. He loves you so much, honey, he misses you…he is miserable away from you."

I took my time to process what I had just learned before answering.

"You have told me things I didn't know before, that change everything I used to believe was the truth. I know there is nothing I could have done to avoid it, that it wasn't my fault." The girls exchanged looks, but I didn't stop to think its hidden meaning.

"What I can't fathom to understand is why he pushed me away and became so cold towards me? I love him, I wanted to stand by his side, I was willing to do anything for him. He was the one for me, I was ready to fall into the fires of hell for him.

"Yet, he wouldn't let me in…he was so withdrawn, so distant. I kept feeling he was blaming me for the crash and for his scarring. I always thought he was the most handsome man in the world, and the scar hasn't changed that for me or for any other girl on campus." I chuckled darkly, as I remembered the various girls hitting on him, and my friends followed through.

"It was funny watching them throwing themselves on him," Rosalie quipped, "and him deflecting their propositions politely."

"Those girls were ruthless. When they realized he was with me, they became mean to me." I winced at the memory. "I can't tell you the vile hurtful things they would say to me, whether he was with me or not. But I didn't mind, because he loved me. The moment he stopped caring for me, I just…couldn't stay. He didn't…" I stumbled with the words, "…want me any more…I wasn't good enough for him, I guess. So…I left."

"But why did you stop talking to the rest of us?" Bella asked, choking back her tears. "Jasper might have been your boyfriend, but I thought I was a good friend to you. You were a sister to me, to Rose, to the guys. Why did you cut us off?"

This was one of the questions that pained me the most, because I knew that I was wrong. Butt at the moment, it seemed the right thing to do.

"Bella, Rosalie…" I started, "I, too, always thought of you as family, even though we haven't known each other for too long. When my relationship with…Jasper," I trembled involuntary at the mention of his name, "…collapsed, well, he is your_ brother_," I turned to Bella, "and a long-time _friend_," I turned to Rosalie.

"Wouldn't it be awkward for all of us to hang out, while he and I wouldn't be in speaking terms? I just thought it would be easier to go on with your lives like it was before you met me," I finished, wiping furiously the tears from my face. The girls were in tears too, and suddenly, they were on their knees, taking hold of my hands.

"Alice," Bella said softly to me, "in a strange way, I get why you did it. But, if you both had had the courage to talk everything that bothered you, this mess could have been avoided. You would still be together, in love and bliss, enjoying your time together.

"Instead, you let everything come between you two and turn your lives miserable. He has fared no better than you, I can assure you. He has realized his mistakes, he has seen the error of his ways. He loves you," she said with so much determination, "he misses you. He just couldn't stand the fact that you were being hurt by those dim-witted girls because of him. It was his way of protecting you, though he almost destroyed both of you, didn't he?" her gentle eyes were staring, pleading with me to finally see and accept the truth.

_What is the truth, anyway?_

Suddenly, I was now gasping for air, I was suffocating. I was getting dizzy and my heart was beating erratically. I could hardly hear Rosalie and Bella's frantic cries. Though it was spring, I was cold, my body shaking involuntary.

_What is wrong with me? Calm down, Alice_, I told myself. Then, everything turned to black.

**BPOV**

"Alice!" I screamed at the girl I considered my sister, lying unconscious on the bed. I called her name many times, but she didn't move. She was breathing with difficulty, and her heartbeat was strong but too fast. She had an anxiety attack, and I had no idea how to help her.

We moved her to make her more comfortable; her feet were elevated by pillows to help the blood flow, while Rosalie was rubbing her hands. Nothing changed and I couldn't take it any more.

"My father is here, probably in his study. Find him and get him up here ASAP!" I said to Rose, who ran out of the room as quickly as possible.

After only a few minutes, she was back with Carlisle. He immediately took charge of the situation.

"What happened? Did you have a fight or something?" he was worried. "Please, tell me you didn't make matters worse."

"No, dad, we didn't fight. She learned of things she wasn't aware of and got overwhelmed; all of a sudden, she fainted and is still unconscious." He gasped. "I am really scared."

"Here," he ordered, "let me examine her," and sat on the bed next to her, opening his medical bag. My father turned to face us.

"I have to ask you to leave the room. She needs my full attention and your anxiety makes it hard for me." We nodded dejectedly and moved on to exit the room. His voice stopped us.

"Girls, I am sorry. I didn't mean to be so harsh. I know you love her, I love her too. Let me check upon her, I'll be out as soon as possible. I think it's nothing serious, just stress. She is a sensitive girl, her emotional state being very vulnerable due to events we are all too familiar with." He shot us a knowing look. We cared for Alice, she was family, even if my brother had screwed up royally. Hopefully, he could still undo the damage he had caused.

We closed the door behind us, and Rosalie and I sat down on the thick carpet outside the room. She put her arm around me to comfort me.

"Don't worry," she whispered above my head, "your father is looking after her."

I bit my lip. "I know, I just…" I stopped and raised my eyes at her. She stared back at me questioningly.

"I want…well…should I call…Jasper?" I cringed expecting hell from her. Nothing…silence…not a peep. I opened my eyes and she was deep in thought.

Suddenly, my phone was ringing, Jasper's name flashing on the screen. "It's him," I announced dryly. "What do I do? Do I tell him?"

Rosalie sighed. "It seems fate decided for you. It's a sign. Tell him the truth." I took a deep breath and opened my phone. _Here we go._

"Jazz…Yes, I'm fine…Where are you?…I am already here…with Rose and…Alice…I invited her…No, she isn't doing well, at all…Dad is with her…she collapsed."

**JPOV**

My cell almost fell out of my hand. Alice was at my house? My Alice was sick? I pressed the gas pedal even more, to get home quicker. I had to see her, even from afar. She hated me, she had every right to hate my guts, she did everything she could to avoid me; I couldn't blame her. After all, I had turned her away. I broke her heart, led her to believe I didn't love her anymore. As if it was possible.

I loved her immensely, she owned my heart forever. I could never be with anybody else. But I thought she would be better off without me; I truly believed she didn't need more trouble in her life because of me. I underestimated her and her feelings for me; I disregarded her strength and her devotion to me, and I would be paying for my sins for an eternity.

"Jasper? Are you there?" my sister's frantic voice reached out to me, snapping me back to reality.

"I'm here," I said through clenched teeth, "I am on my way, Bella," I shot back before shutting the phone. I was driving like a bat out of hell towards the mansion. I needed to see her, to make sure she was alright.

**BPOV**

"He is coming," I said and let myself relax in my friend's shoulder. We just sat there, Rosalie on her cell, updating Emmett and Edward on the situation. They were still stuck in class, but promised to come as soon as possible.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, my father emerged from my bedroom. He was tired and exhausted from worry, but looked relieved. We all got up, waiting.

"Girls," he started, "she is awake. Physically, she is fine; she just needs to eat better and sleep more, something she hasn't been doing since…" he paused, giving us a meaningful look. "Well, exhaustion and stress were the reason for this episode. Let her rest and she will be good as new," he smiled weakly when, suddenly, his attention was drawn by something behind us and his eyes glimmered with hope.

I involuntary turned back and there was Jasper, in all his six foot glory; he was flushed from running and breathing quickly, his scar more prominent on his face; a true dark angel.

As soon as he regained his breathing, he approached us, his face paler than usual. All eyes were on him, but nobody said anything, until it became too much, and he broke the silence.

"Where is she? How is she? Is she OK" he choked.

That was the exact moment where I lost it completely. All the pent up anger from the mess our lives had become, due to his stupidity and his stubbornness, came crashing down and I let him have it raw.

"_Is she OK_? Seriously, Jasper? _Now_ you care about her well-being? Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to stay away _"for her own good",_ as you so eloquently put it? Aren't you breaking your own rules?

"Well, guess _what_, brother dear? _This is all you darn fault_! If you could come down from your self pity trip, you would have realized that you should have talked to her. If you had done just that simple thing, you would have known she didn't care! At all! She had you, she was loved by you, she could take anything and anybody. Believe me, she has taken a lot worse since the day she was born! These sluts were nothing. But you decided to be a martyr and you killed her!"

I paused to catch my breath, because I was so angry at him. He was leaning forward, his head hung low, taking each and every blow in stride. He was hurting, I knew it, but I couldn't stop, despite dad's effort. He had to hear it all.

"Did you ever consider the repercussions of your actions? She wasn't just you girlfriend. She was my best friend, living with Edward and me; she was friends to Emmett and Rose; even our parents adored her as a daughter.

"Then, you go on a whim, and decide to be all noble and mighty _"to save her from the pain and the regret"_! Did you really think your plan was being subtle? We all realized immediately what you intended to do, but hoped against hope that you would see the light and change your mind.

"And, to top it all, you forgot how Alice's mind worked. She tends to shoulder all the wrongs and blame of the world. Her attacker was the man that hit you on purpose. Did you stop to think what this fact would do to her? Didn't you realize what she had been thinking since that moment? She has blamed herself for everything! And you being cold and distant only fueled her guilt and fear, pushing her out of our lives, when the only person guilty here is you!"

I finally broke down and fell onto Carlisle, letting my tears fall freely, my anger completely gone by now. "Oh, Jasper….You have done so much wrong…"

**JPOV**

My sister was right; I was a heartless man, a coward. I was getting bitch-slapped heavily but took it all, I deserved it. There was nothing in Bella's verbal attack that wasn't true. I have done wrong, too much and to too many people. I got lost into my self-pity, and hurt all my loved ones.

How could I be so ignorant? Why on earth did I care about anyone else but Alice? I should have talked to her, when all the mess started getting out of hand, but I was too scared. I was terrified she would finally admit that everything was too much for her, that she wanted an out. That she had enough of me and the drama surrounding me. I pushed her away not for her own good, but for mine. I wouldn't be able to stand still and watch her leave me.

God, I was such and inconsiderate prick! I never gave her credit for loving me, for sticking with me through thick and thin. I wrongly thought that my feelings were stronger than hers. I rode on my high horse and tried to be the self-sacrificing fool, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge her feelings or her pain. Pain that I was bringing down on her, with my attitude and my cruelty.

Never did I realize, until now, that I wasn't the only one in pain. Alice, Bella, Edward, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie…all the people important to me were hurting with and for me. They loved me and wanted to stand by my side, to help anyway they could. And what did I do? I shut them out or, in Alice's case, pushed them away.

And the worst part? Bella was right. I did forget how Alice's mind worked. It never crossed my mind that she would feel guilty for the crash. I didn't connect the dots to see she was feeling guilty about it. Now she was dead wrong on that. It was not her fault, not in the slightest. But, what else could she believe since I was acting all distant and detached towards her? She loved me so much more than I did. She loved me enough to leave me, so that I wasn't in pain any more. She pulled herself out of our lives so my family wouldn't have to choose between her and me.

My silly, selfless, loving girl…how could I be so lucky to have you in my life?

How could I be so damned fool to throw her away? I loved her so much, she was my life, the reason to live. I needed her back into my arms, I couldn't go on another minute without her smile, without her sweet face laughing at me.

I stared at my sister, my resolve unfaltering now, I knew exactly what had to be done. Bella stared back, puzzled and alarmed.

"Jasper…what…?" she tried to speak but I interrupted her quickly.

"You are absolutely right, Bella…I have done so much wrong, to all of you. I have apologized to everybody but the person I have hurt the most." I turned to my father.

"Dad, may I go in and talk to her, or will it be too much?"

He hesitated a little, then gave me a tight smile.

"Look, son…She needs to rest, that's for sure. But…you _need_ to talk. This rift between the two of you is the real reason behind this. I see no harm to ask whether or not she is up for it. Go on, but don't pressure her. If she says no, back off and let her be. You can try again later or even tomorrow, when she will have regained her strength."

I turned around and put my hand on the door knob to turn, when a hand caught on my wrist.

"This is your last chance. Don't screw up," Rosalie spat at me in a low voice.

I freed my arm from her grasp. "I won't," I replied and pushed the door open slowly. I entered quickly and closed the door behind me softly, trying not to disturb her. The room was almost dark, except from the moonlight flowing in through the windows, illuminating my Alice's small form lying on the bed. She was curled in a fetus-like position, her tiny frame shaking slightly, and I could faintly hear her sniffling and murmuring.

I couldn't understand what she was saying, except for one word that cut me to the core.

"Jasper…."


	13. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.**

**CHAPTER 11 – Complete**

**APOV**

"Try to rest a bit, Alie. You surely need it. You can sleep in here tonight, and we can talk tomorrow, after breakfast. I will check upon you again later, ok?" Carlisle gently said, worry written all over his face. Great, I was causing him even more pain now. My eyes were filled with tears.

"I am sorry," I whispered. "I am sorry for being such a baby. I didn't mean to cause any trouble."

His palm caressed my face gently, reminding me of my father.

"It's no trouble, at all. We love you, sweetheart, never forget that." He paused, debating whether to say something or not. "He loves you, too…he never stopped loving you. I know the damage seems irreparable, but have faith...Everything will be alright."

He kissed my hair and stood up. "Sleep, honey," he said and left me alone.

As soon as the door closed behind him, I let my tears run freely and my mind drifted to the man who meant the world to me; Jasper…the love of my life, the man owning my heart, now and forever.

The man whom I fell in love with from the first moment I laid my eyes on him; tall frame, blonde curly hair, ice blue eyes, Greek-god body.

It wasn't the looks, though, that made me fall in love with him. I fell in love with his soul and his spirit. He was kind, considerate, obedient son, loving brother, good friend; an angel on Earth. He was always a gentleman towards _me; s_imple, boring, unlucky me.

I never understood what Bella saw in me and decided to be my friend when we first met at the university. At first, I thought it was just pity and her kind heart, so I was very reluctant to let her get close to me. Soon I realized she really cared for me. She really didn't see me as poor Alice, the tiny crippled girl.

While now I was able to walk with my own two feet, I used to be stuck onto a wheelchair for almost all my life. I had accepted my fate, until my teenage years. You see, young people can be very cruel, and that was one of the reasons I practically ran – no pun intended – to enroll at a university across the country. New place, new people, new beginnings.

When I became Bella's friend, I was happy. She always made me feel welcome, accepted, even loved as an equal, both she and her family. I loved them for that, they were my second family and enjoyed every moment I spent with them.

And when I met _him_, I wanted to get out of my wheelchair and dance from joy. Even by being his friend, I was content and my life had meaning. Becoming his girlfriend was…everything to me.

I pressed my hands over my eyes, once again trying to hold back the tears that were suffocating me.

"Jasper…Jasper…I miss you….I love you…" I repeated over and over again through the sobs shaking my body.

"Alice?"

I opened my eyes, startled from hearing his voice calling my name. Was I hallucinating now? Was I so far gone that I had started imagining things?

It was at that moment that I saw _him_, standing by the bed, looking down at me. My breath was caught in my throat.

"Jasper? Are you really here?" I whispered.

"Yes…I…I had to come…I had to see you," he stopped, pushing his fingers through his hair nervously. "Please, don't send me away. I have been away from you for far too long." He kneeled down, bringing his face closer to me.

"God…Alice…" his voice sounded so pained that brought a new wave of tears to my eyes, "I know how much I have hurt you. I know that I don't deserve you, you are so much better than me. But, I beg of you, let me at least talk to you, explain everything. Maybe then you might find it in your heart to grant me absolution."

He raised his hand shyly and wiped my tears with such tenderness that caused my heart to skip a beat. "My little darling…" he crooned, "I will gladly burn into the deepest pits of hell for the pain I have caused you." He grazed my face with his fingers, his eyes now shining with tears that refused to tumble and fall.

"I was an imbecile, a crazy fool, for pushing you away, for making you feel unworthy of me. It is me who is so undeserving of you."

I looked at him with eyes wide open. He couldn't be serious…he was so wrong. He was too good for me, it was the only truth. I wanted to tell him as much, but he put his finger on my lips to stop me. I nodded. My turn would soon come.

"Alice," he went on, "after the crash, I was depressed. I was never a vain person, but suddenly, I felt self-conscious. I couldn't stand the stares and whispers behind my back, but tried to be strong for you and for my family.

"Imagine my surprise when random girls started pursuing me, completely disregarding the fact that we were a couple, and treating you poorly. I hated that you were hurt by their insults, even though you insisted not to care. I tried to ignore them and fall back in track with my life before the accident but failed.

"My first mistake was my not understanding that I had changed, that I wasn't the same person I was before, and ask for help. If I had talked to someone, I would have found out how depressed I was and would have done something to remedy it. But I never did and things got worse.

"My second mistake was my withdrawing and lack of communication with you. We used to understand each other so well, we were attuned to one another it was surreal. Suddenly, it seemed I wasn't able to convey even my simplest thought to you, like we were speaking different languages. I would then get more frustrated and depressed, and I pulled back even more.

"Last, but not least, I was so messed up that somehow ended up believing that you were better off without me, though, if I want to be completely honest, I must admit being terrified of you leaving me first. I convinced myself that you didn't love me enough, so, if I let you free, you would be able to find someone else to love and be happy."

He chuckled mirthlessly, his blue eyes now black with fury and despair. "At least, I hoped you would find happiness…even if it wasn't with me…" he whispered, mostly to himself, and lowered his head on his hands. I tried to get a better look at him and gasped in surprise.

His body stance resembled a man lost, whose last hope was God. He was on his knees, hands clasped in front of him, his head resting on them in resignation. He was praying to God and all the powers above to make me listen to him, maybe even forgive him.

I never expected to see him ever again, despite what Bella and Rosalie had told me earlier this evening. They would never lie to me, but still, I had a hard time taking all in and believe the truth in their words. Sometimes, I was too stubborn for my own good.

Yet, seeing him here so unexpectedly shook me to the core, a powerful jolt running through every single fiber of my body. _I love this man_….my whole existence vibrated from the intensity of my emotions. I _love_ him, hopelessly, madly, forever. And I knew I would never be able to be apart from him.

I laughed silently. How could an angel like him beg me to love him? What could I ever offer him? Nothing; only my half self. I could never be enough for him. I could never touch him, love him as he should be loved. But, at the same moment, I wanted to be selfish for once in my life and be with him.

_Is it enough? To love someone so much, even if you are not enough? Does love really conquer all? _

Suddenly I was panicking. I didn't want to know the truth

"No, I can't do this. It is too much," I muttered. "I can't do this," I said, louder this time. "I have to go, I must leave. I can't stay here. Can you call Bella?" I asked, fighting tears.

His head shot up immediately, his expression one of pure terror. "Please, don't leave. Don't leave me, Alice. I know you love me and you are scared. It's all right, I am scared, too. I love you…please…forgive me for hurting you. I swear I will never hurt you again…Stay…" he paused, looking intently at my face.

I froze. What was he asking me? What was he looking for? A lot of emotions flashed through his eyes: empathy, anxiety, longing, lust, and something I could not believe…love? It couldn't be! But his face became unreadable again.

"I will never hurt you, Alice…This is the last time you have shed bitter tears because of me. Your happiness is all that matters to me. Just give me a chance to prove myself to you, to gain your trust and your forgiveness. Will you do this? For me…for you…for us…" he pleaded, taking my hand into his own. "Unless…unless you don't…love me…anymore. That would only be fair after everything I have done…" he whispered. He turned his burning gaze at me, a hopeless man grasping at shreds of sanity.

"I can't take this…I feel like my soul is been ripped out of me, not knowing what you are thinking, what you want…baby, please…stop running away from me…tell me the truth. All this time I have been hoping against hope. Do you still love me? Do you still care for me, after all the crap I have put you through? Tell me the truth, the whole damned truth. I am done with the lying and the sacrifices. It has done us both no good, only heartache," he whispered.

My head shot up. What? What did Jasper mean? I wanted to ask, but he was waiting for my answer, as if his life depended on it. I then made my decision: tell the truth and be free. We had lost so much time. I took a deep breath and…

"Jasper," I whispered, my free hand reaching out, cupping his face, "I _love_ you. I have loved you since the first time I saw you. You are the most caring, gentle, loving man I have ever known. For me, you are an angel in disguise.

"I will love you always and forever. Nothing will ever make me change my mind or my feelings for you. I never blamed you for anything, you have done no wrong. I should have tried more to talk to you, to understand what you have been thinking and try to make you realize how much I love you.

"I missed you…so much…all this time…I couldn't breath, I couldn't eat…I could barely focus on my studies…You are the one that counts, the one giving meaning to my life. If you want me, I am yours. Your love is essential to me, it's my own personal shield to the world's malevolence."

I glanced at him once. "Do you understand what I am trying to say?"

He looked into my eyes, his blue ones a smoldering fire, as if he was trying to see inside my soul.

I shivered.

"Alice," his anguished face was suddenly very near my own. He gently caressed my face, wiping my tears away.

In seconds, his lips were crushing mine, fiercely and gently at the same time. My lips opened instantly, allowing him entrance, and his tongue intertwined with mine, savoring his sweet taste in my mouth. I felt intoxicated by him, like I was dreaming. But I let the dream sweep me off my feet, storing up this memory in my mind.

His hands traveled from my face down to my neck, my arms and then rested on my thighs.

Suddenly, he unlocked his lips from mine and, in a flash, he leaped on the bed and lied next to me, swiftly taking me into his arms. I allowed myself to snuggle content.

The feeling was overwhelming. His lips were on me again, his body so close to me…I started feeling dizzy. I pulled away to catch my breath. He was panting too.

"What was that?" I said breathlessly. He grinned.

"That was me showing my love for you."

"You…really…love…me?" I whispered. He nodded.

"Yes, I really, truly do love you. Oh, Alice, my Alice…why is it so hard for you to believe?" he asked.

I glanced outside the bedroom window, watching the moon shining over the forest surrounding the house.

"Isn't it obvious? Why a god-like angel like you would love a simple girl like me? You can give me everything, while I have nothing to give you in return," I answered.

"Nothing to give me back?" he argued. "Alice, you have your precious, wonderful soul to give, and I am more than willing to have you. I love you, from the first moment Bella introduced us. You were always caring and loving towards me. She was the one who urged me to talk to you and save us both from our misery," he said, smiling shyly.

I raised my left hand and cupped his cheek, and rested my other hand on his arm.

He gazed intently at me. "You are mine and I am yours. We belong together, and we have been apart for a long time. It's time to make up for lost time. I want us to be together. I want everybody to know that we love each other, and that it will be forever".

He caressed my cheeks, my neck, my lips. He pecked my face with light kisses and then went down my neck, nibbling all the way. "Will you be my love forever?" he whispered low in my ear.

I snapped my head towards him. "I love you and that will never change. You don't have to promise me anything. I will be yours for as long as you want me to be."

My words were abruptly cut short by his soft lips pressed against mine with so much passion and love that I felt my eyes tear up again. This is heaven on earth, I thought. I was lying on my back, with him hovering above me. I suddenly realized that this was what I was dreaming for a long time. Him kissing me, his body molded to mine, his hands roaming all over my body. I shivered from the sensations that were flooding me.

I hugged him tightly and put my face on the crook of his neck. His sweet smell was all over my head, taking me to a fantasy world where only we existed.

"Will you marry me?" he said breathlessly.

"What?" I gasped. Did he really say that? "Are you serious? Do you really want to marry me? Living with me can be very hard...I don't want you to regret this."

He abruptly pulled away and I found myself alone on the bed. I looked at Jasper. He was standing near the window, his back towards me. He was angry, I knew it.

_This is the man of your dreams asking you to marry him_, I scolded myself, _and all you can say is he should think it over? As if he hadn't thought it over thoroughly already._

I sighed. I could be so dense some times.

"I am sorry, my love. I know you have considered everything before you decided to propose to me. It was stupid of me. Please, forgive me," I said, ashamed of myself.

He relaxed a little. "It's all right, Alice. I know you didn't mean it like that." But he was still tense. I had to continue.

"Jasper, your asking me to marry you is a dream coming true. If you want me, I will be eternally happy to take you and become your wife, and I will do my best to make you happy." I closed my eyes, feeling the tears streaming down my face.

He must have sensed my tears, because he had me scooped in his arms in seconds.

"Sweetheart, please don't cry. I only want your happiness. Baby, I love you always and forever, don't ever doubt me. I know that you love me, too. I am not trying to rush things, it's just that I am a traditional kind of man, who believes marriage is the next step for two people in love." He kissed me passionately. "Thank you," he continued and pressed his body on mine again.

I was lost in the sensations of his body on to mine. It was strange but I never had felt more alive, more whole than this before. I felt complete, like I could do anything I wanted.

Suddenly, I was feeling bold. Here I was, with the love of my life, having agreed to marry him. I wanted him even closer, I wanted to become…his. I grabbed his face and looked in his eyes. All his love shone in his blue eyes.

"Jasper, my love," I whispered, "I want you. Will you make love to me, please," I asked shyly, feeling my cheeks turning pink.

My words took Jasper by surprise. He stopped kissing me and stared at me.

"My pixie…You don't have to prove anything. I am sorry if I made you feel pressured to have sex with me. Let's get married first, and then, we will have all the time in the world to make love."

He paused and gazed at me, his eyes full with love. I turned my head, rejection and understanding in my heart at the same time.

He grabbed my chin and made me look at him again. "Baby girl, please, I _do_ want you. God knows how long I have waited to hear you say this to me. I _really_ want to make love to you. But, today was a difficult day for both of us. We are both overwhelmed and exhausted. Let's get some rest, and we can talk again tomorrow."

As if on queue, I yawned, realizing now that it was getting very late. He laughed.

"See? You agree with me. Come, it's time to sleep. Do you need to go to the bathroom?" I nodded.

He helped me to the bathroom. After I was finished, Jasper ushered me to the bed again, helped me put my pajamas on, and tucked me in, kissing me softly. His gentleness brought tears in my eyes, and I made my decision.

As he stood up to get to the couch, I grabbed his wrist tightly. "Love, I don't want to sleep alone. Come lie beside me, please," I begged.

He smiled, and, moving swiftly, he got in and lay close to me, his arms around me. I snuggled as close to him as I could. As if he knew, he moved me so my body was glued to his.

"Goodnight, sweetheart…Sleep well," he said. I smiled, and drifted peacefully in sleep, in my true love's arms.


End file.
